# satisfying a man **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 8, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515 "2003-05-08T01:16:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![natalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@natalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/natalia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/1 "2003-05-08T01:16:46Z")
ok, i have some experience on the subject but i am not sure. usually men want to go almost directly to the act. i have tried to find out what the enjoy the most but yet i have not drawn a conclusion. so pls men and women out there, tell me what do you think is the best to do to satisfy a man, apart from oral which is the most obvious. even though some techniques will be welcome šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/2 "2003-05-08T01:27:15Z")
A nice steak and a baked potato is always satisfying. ---
**Author:** ![natalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@natalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/natalia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/3 "2003-05-08T01:35:02Z")
yeah! very helpful! so no more sex just provide him food! i like that! ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/4 "2003-05-08T01:50:24Z")
That varies entirely from man to man. Activities, positions, props, noise levels, all matters of personal preference. Experiment, and make sure heā€™s working on figuring out how best to satisfy _you_, too. If not, thereā€™s not point wasting your time bumping uglies with him. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/5 "2003-05-08T02:17:48Z")
Welcome to SDMB! šŸ™‚ Thatā€™s a very general question, so Iā€™ll give you a very general answer. Be _willing_ to please him. The rest is experimentation, as **CrazyCatLady** said, unless youā€™re with a man who already knows what he likes. In that case, ask him. For specific techniques, read some of the sex threads, here. Youā€™ll get some good information and a lot of laughs. And, look for a good book on the subject. Thereā€™s lots of information available. ---
**Author:** ![natalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@natalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/natalia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/6 "2003-05-08T02:20:11Z")
i agree that it varies. for example my ex had a bad experience with his previous girlfriend and in the first weeks of our relationship he didnā€™t feel comfortable when i was caressing him. another ex was very keen to start immediately and he did not like me to try to make him feel ā€˜even betterā€™. so i am just wondering what men like. it is very important to satisfy and being satisfied. i donā€™t know, maybe itā€™s the guys i have dated till now. ---
**Author:** ![natalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@natalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/natalia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/7 "2003-05-08T02:29:02Z")
thanks Davebear šŸ™‚ i have already read a lot of threads here and it was the reason i decided to become a member!! ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/8 "2003-05-08T02:29:52Z")
Ok, first off, men, Iā€™m on your side. Really. TRUST ME! Iā€™m a man! Natalia, youā€™re absolutely right. Men are all the same, all we want is IT, right now, boom, weā€™re done, thank you very much now make me a sandwich. That being said, realize that men are, generally speaking, stupid and short-sighted. ESPECIALLY when it comes toā€¦ erā€¦ coming. What we want is not always whatā€™s best for us. So, to ā€˜please a manā€™, ya really got two options. One, let him go to town at his own pace. That means you go down, get back up, flip over, whateverā€¦ itā€™ll be quick but BOY will he be happy! A little practice and you can learn to enjoy it too. q;} Two, Slow His Ass Down. And the rest of him. Lay down the linesā€¦ take control! A lot of women think they shouldnā€™t do thisā€¦ that they should be submissive in bed, men prefer that type of women. True, we do like to think weā€™re in control. So make him THINK heā€™s in chargeā€¦ but slow things down. He wants oral? Give him oralā€¦ SLOWLY. Make it sexy enough and heā€™ll wait all day for the touch of your lips! And LOVE every second of it! Simply put, teach him to do it at YOUR speed. Three, Hi Opal. q;} Remember, most of all, sex isnā€™t just about bumping ugliesā€¦ itā€™s about the whole experience of man with woman (or whatever floats your personal boat. I donā€™t care.) ---
**Author:** ![natalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@natalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/natalia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/9 "2003-05-08T02:58:16Z")
so, men are very easy when it comes to satisfaction? i mean just the ā€˜actā€™ (and by that i donā€™t mean pure sex without cuddling) is ok since they have an orgasm? at least in most cases, because in the past when i asked what they liked they said "i like everything, i donā€™t mindā€™. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Grapist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Grapist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Grapist)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/10 "2003-05-08T03:00:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by natalia \* > \*\*yeah! very helpful! so no more sex just provide him food! i like that! \*\* this post has been Graped by the Grapist! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/11 "2003-05-08T03:09:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by natalia \* > \*\*i agree that it varies. for example my ex had a bad experience with his previous girlfriend and in the first weeks of our relationship he didnā€™t feel comfortable when i was caressing him. another ex was very keen to start immediately and he did not like me to try to make him feel ā€˜even betterā€™. so i am just wondering what men like. > > it is very important to satisfy and being satisfied. i donā€™t know, maybe itā€™s the guys i have dated till now. \*\* It sounds like you _have_ run into some guys with some minor problems. Neither one is what Iā€™d call ideal, though I hesitate to call either one abnormal. But, the first one was apparently traumatized, to some degree. And, the second one was, for lack of more clincal term, a pig. And, itā€™s good that you dumped him. Unfortunately, his type is fairly common, especially among younger men. Are you, perhaps, fairly young, yourself? I wouldnā€™t base your image of what men like on either of those experiences. You can incorporate them into the concept of the variety you may run into in the future, but neither one is what Iā€™d call typical. Even the second one isnā€™t a typical pig, because most pigs are more than happy to let the woman work harder at pleasing them. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phnord Prephect \* > \*\* Men are all the same, all we want is IT, right now, boom, weā€™re done, thank you very much now make me a sandwich. \*\* Iā€™m sure you were expecting someone to object to this, so let me be the first. Men are no more all alike than women are. Or fingeprints. Similar, perhaps, but not the same. Most of us may want sex, all the time, but we donā€™t all want it the same way. And, your ā€œwham, bam, thank you maā€™amā€ approach may be nice, _sometimes_, but it certainly isnā€™t what I want, all the time. So, please donā€™t paint all of us the same color. And, teaching her to be a sex toy is not doing her any favors, either. Sure, itā€™ll please the pigs who just want to use her, but I believe she was asking about _men_. Sheā€™s already had experience with at least one boy, and one pig. I think sheā€™s looking to branch out. But, the ā€œslow downā€ advice was good. That is definitely a skill worth learning. ---
**Author:** ![natalia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@natalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/natalia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/12 "2003-05-08T03:16:52Z")
i am 23! i canā€™t say that i have a lot of experience in the subject but i think i am going to agree. yeah, they were young and even younger than me! maybe i should start focusing on older men or at least more mature men. ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/13 "2003-05-08T03:44:59Z")
Well, Iā€™m a male. And I have to confess that all of the stroking and nibbling and so forth really makes the end point a whole lot better. Soā€¦I would encourage lovers to start with the idea of each (not just one!!!) person trying to touch their partner with the goal of pleasingā€¦and pleasure for themselves. Learn to enjoy giving pleasure, and getting pleasure will really make the whole thing much better. Having said all of thatā€¦as a (ahem)ā€¦younger man, I was really much more ā€œgoal orientedā€. But as experience came along, I began to realize that ā€œitā€ wasnā€™t going anywhere. So I learned to loose myself in the foreplay aspects. Then everything got lots better for both of usā€¦and I still reached my goalā€¦grin. So maturity can help some of us in some ways. So try to communicate, and expect your partner to listen. This goes both ways. And as a bit of very much my own opinion, you should not think of this as ā€œhow to please himā€. You are engaging in a two-way process here, not a performance that is one way. Sorry for the mini-rantā€¦but both of you should be pleased by making the other person and yourselves enjoy the experience. Best of luck! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/14 "2003-05-08T06:17:00Z")
Sex Food TV ---
**Author:** ![greenvegan80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@greenvegan80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenvegan80)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/15 "2003-05-08T06:26:47Z")
Perhaps I am odd, but I derive at least as much pleasure from my loverā€™s ā€œexcitementā€ as I do from my own. One mutually enjoyable act is very fun, at times. Traded acts of selflessness can be even more exciting, though, because they allow each person to focus entirely on their own feelings. No pressure to have ā€œfunā€ at the same time. No hijack intended, but ladies- durin"traded acts" do you prefer to cum first or second? As second seems to be the pole position(no pun intended). ---
**Author:** ![Pixelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ad7895/32.png) [@Pixelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixelle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/16 "2003-05-08T06:59:27Z")
Cumming together is better šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/17 "2003-05-08T10:04:09Z")
Yeah, Iā€™m gonna go with **Little Nemo** on this one. Iā€™ve never heard of men who care too much about anything other than sex. Some like TV, food and beer, but their interests never go beyond that. Thatā€™s all you need to know about men, babe. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/18 "2003-05-08T10:47:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by natalia \* > \*\*i am 23! i canā€™t say that i have a lot of experience in the subject but i think i am going to agree. yeah, they were young and even younger than me! maybe i should start focusing on older men or at least more mature men. \*\* Sorry if the ā€œyoungā€ question offended you. Iā€™m sure 23 seems very old, or at least mature, to you. From my perspective at 45, it doesnā€™t. At that age, the average boy is just beginning to become a man, whether he denies it, or not. And, the behavior you described was classic boy behavior. That was why I asked. I wasnā€™t recommending that you seek out older men, but looking for more maturity would be a good thing. **Sunstoneā€™s** post is a good description of the process of a boy becoming a man, sexually. Boys think having sex makes them a man. Men realize having _good_ sex, treating their partners with respect, is what separates them from the boys, sexually. And, boys arenā€™t entirely to blame, for their behavior. We live in a very strange and repressed society. Good information on sex is readily available but, if you seek it out, youā€™re often looked upon as some sort of pervert. And, with the massive hormonal hurricanes raging through their systems, and virtually no information on what to do with or about it, other than what they get from locker room stories, boys are naturally enthusiastic, but not very considerate, lovers. I know. Iā€™ve been there. **greenvegan80** , youā€™re not the least bit odd. Unless, perhaps, youā€™re 18, and feel that way. In which case, youā€™re way ahead of the curve on sexual maturity. But, that would be odd in a good way. And, **natalia** , donā€™t listen to **MeanOldLady** , on this subject. Sheā€™s not really all that mean, but she _is_ bitter as burnt coffee. šŸ˜‰ Sheā€™s a very beautiful woman, so she would naturally attract all sorts of men. My guess is that she simply has had very little success at filtering out the pigs and finding the worthwhile men. Am I close, Meanie? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/19 "2003-05-08T10:52:52Z")
For me itā€™s three things: 1. Being horny and showing it 2. Taking the initiative 3. Being willing to experiment I should put ā€œoral sexā€ in there as well, but letā€™s throw that in with point 3 and go home early. ---
**Author:** ![Ego\_Mk2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Ego\_Mk2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ego_Mk2)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515/20 "2003-05-08T13:01:02Z")
Right now Iā€™d go for a long makeout session. I donā€™t think my girlfriend is a prude, but she doesnā€™t like to kiss very much. She thinks sheā€™s bad at it. I tell her then she needs more practice! šŸ™‚ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/satisfying-a-man/174515.md?page=2)