# Sauron regains the ring - What now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 18, 2002, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405 "2002-11-18T22:59:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405/41 "2002-11-20T01:49:04Z")
He ain’t dancin’ to the music, **Pantone**. His actions run counter to the Ainulindalë, the music of the Ainur. Sauron’s still following Melkor’s tune, and **that ain’t right!**. ---
**Author:** ![Wumpus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8c91f0/32.png) [@Wumpus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wumpus)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405/42 "2002-11-20T01:59:37Z")
What happens next? LORD OF THE RINGS: THE NEXT GENERATION. It’s the new franchise. An hour-long series on the WB, more hip, more cutting-edge, more new millenium. We’ll get Pink to do the theme song, and get Freddy Prinze Jr. to play a more 18-24 friendly Sauron. He’s just a struggling kid–his father, Morgoth, never understood him–he’s trapped in a world he never made! Each week Sauron has thrilling adventures while pursued by intolerant hobbits, who fear Sauron because his super ring-powers make him different. A thrilling multi-episode story arc introduces the mysterious “Pipe-smoking Man,” who in the spellbinding season finale is revealed to be none other than Gandalf! If this flies, we can start work on ANGMAR, a soap concentrating on the Witch-king’s teen years. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405/43 "2002-11-20T03:00:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jerevan Somerville \*\*\*I dunno, **Inky** : I think Sauron might enjoy a long rest after all his hard work. A vacation, perhaps, to the ruins of Numenor? The elven lands in the West? \*\* With a groan and a clanking of mystical armour, Sauron fell back into the lounge chair. Club Med Numenor was really not quite what what the brochures had promised. Oh sure, it was close enough so as he couldn’t complain – and yet, somehow he still felt that he’d been misled. Listlessly, he nibbled on the cashews on the table beside him. “Here’s the pitcher of margaritas you ordered. That’ll be three silver pieces”. “What!! That stinking, lying travel agent said that “all amenities were included”!!” “That’d be the continental breakfast”. “That pot of weak coffee and limp-ass croissant!?” “Sorry mon, I just work here”. “I could turn you into an Ork you know!!” “Quite, but how much troll you think is in that there margarita?” “Err. None I hope.” “And how much troll would be there if the bartender was a ork, mon?” “…” “Bill the room”? “Bill the room”. “Oh, we charge for the cashews too”. “Fuck…” ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405/44 "2002-11-20T03:37:50Z")
> [@](#): > > What is it really that makes him EVIL? Maybe it was that part in ROTK where he says, “Hey Frodo, come over here and pull my finger.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2002, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405/45 "2002-11-20T04:03:33Z")
> [@](#): > > So what would be so terrible about Sauron gaining power? Wouldnt things stabilize after a while? If he had complete authority over Middle Earth, he would not need to wage wars or hoard resources for a war economy, would he? Its not in his best interest to just keep everyone impoverished and miserable as that would make poor workers and an ineffective populace. Most of what Sauron does isn’t really in his best interest. He’s just plain evil. Consider things like his intentions towards the Shire: As Frodo points out, he’s got much more useful servants. But he would much prefer hobbits as miserable slaves to hobbits as free and happy people, anyway. Rivendell and Lothlorien are definitely maintained by the Rings. Lothlorien is naturally a beautiful place, but the timelessness of it (what, we’ve spent a whole month here already?) was certainly the Ring’s doing: That was the primary purpose of the Elven-Rings, to “stave off the weariness of the World”. Rivendell isn’t as strong a case, but it’s generally speculated that Elrond raised the Flood at the ford by the power of his ring (the Ring of Water). Gandalf, being a continual wanderer, didn’t use his Ring to preserve any particular place: His style was more that of spot uses, here and there as needed. He was almost certainly using his Ring when he healed Theoden (definitely “rekindling a heart grown cold”), and all of his fire-magic might also be related to his Ring (although this is never made clear). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sauron-regains-the-ring-what-now/137405.md?page=2)