# Save Enterprise with your ideas for shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 3, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094 "2002-12-03T00:25:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/1 "2002-12-03T00:25:27Z")
Enterprise plunges into black hole, sending the ship and/or crew into various different past times. The Gaurdian of Forever makes several cameo appearances. Cameo makes a cameo, _Word Up!_ Hoshi ends up in Shogun era Japan, but it unable to translate their language, having never learned Japanese. Inexplicably, she is dressed in a fur bikini a la _1,000,000 B.C._ (which should be B.C.E. to be more correct) Trip is deposited in Minoan Crete where everyone speaks SEV (Standard Vernacular English) and has air conditioning and small, silent automobiles made of neobromium. He is venerated as godlike, or at least, very bitchin’, man. Inexplicably, he is afraid of the color yellow and anything that comes in 3’s. T’Pol ends up in 1995 Toronto and joins _The X-Files._ Inexplicably, she stutters badly, but loves to initiate oral sex with every guest star character. Ratings go through the roof, making _The {se}X-Files_ the highest rated TV show ever, causing Scott Carter to run for President. He wins, nukes China in a pre-emptive strike, and declares himself Hegemon. He marries T’Pol and declares her The Hive Queen. Mayweather finds himself in France of the 1840’s in a sanitarium. Inexplicably, he is mute. More characters later… I gots to eat. If you have ANY ideas, post them here, serious or not. If you want to post to my idea, be my guest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest… ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/2 "2002-12-03T01:13:39Z")
Tholian bikini car wash! a good old fashion war with the Rommies a good old fashion war with the Klingons a good old fashion war between the Klingons and Rommies with the Feds in the middle Jesus returns Osama bin Laden shows up, steals a ship, and fights Archer in a nebula Enterprise vs. Space Godzilla! Enterprise vs. Space Jesus! Hoshi joins a nudist colony enterprise vs. the green martians of barsoom Trip vs. Gorilla man (who steals T’Pol and takes her to his lair. 9 months later, half gorilla/half vulcan is born) enterprise is invaded by space termites ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/3 "2002-12-03T01:30:43Z")
> [@](#): > > Enterprise plunges into black hole, sending the ship and/or crew into various different past times. Where they can put right what once went wrong? Nah, it’s been done. And we all know _Star Trek_ never recycles ideas. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/4 "2002-12-03T01:44:41Z")
Enterprise begins free lancing as a cargo carrier. Dr. Phlox brings his disturbed sister aboard. It becomes clear that Reed is not as intelligent as we thought…“This is my very, very favorite phase pistol.” Hoshi takes over engineering and Trip becomes a Bible Belt preacher. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/5 "2002-12-03T01:45:01Z")
“_Enterprise_: Your 24-hour nude decon channel.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/6 "2002-12-03T02:18:22Z")
OK, finished my lasagna. Mmmm… garlic bread… So, back to diaspora: Malcom Reed gets sent to 1970 something suburbs of Houston, Texas, as a fourteen year old boy. His older sister and younger brother cause all sorts of trouble for him. Because he is Malcom. In the middle. Inexplicably, he is like a fish in the water when it comes to swimming. He loves the water. He sails, water skis, snorkles, and scubas. He also stutters, but a good explination is profferred (sp?): he gets hit on the head alot. Dr. Phlox. Paging Dr. Phlox. He gets sent just, say, three shows back. Inexplicably, he does some wierd stuff to Porthos in sick bay. Again. He is also sporting a rainbow afro and a John 3:16 tee-shirt. Nothing odd about that. Scott Bakula, I mean, the captain, er… Archer? Yeah! Jonathon Archer gets sent Taatooine in a far off galaxy, long long ago. He finds that Padme chick, talks her into leaving her posh life and shacking up with him in a suburb of Mos Eisley (sp?) running a seedy bar/taverne type place, where they both do kareoke themselves every Wednesday night at 8:00 Eastern, 7:00 Central time to get everyone else in the mood. Inexplicably, he sings everything as tho it were a rap song but in pig latin. He also turns out to be gay, sort of, revealed in a “very special” _Enterprise Wars episode 9, The Return of the Bi-Jedi_. Nothing happens to Porthos, who’s descendents evolve into a humanoid creature after a million or so years, and becomes friends with a smeg-head hologram, a gay robot, and a heavy drinking slacker. Inexplicably, BBC4 picks this show up. Did I miss any one? ---
**Author:** ![Survey1215](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Survey1215](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survey1215)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/7 "2002-12-03T02:59:03Z")
I don’t get to watch the show as often as I’d like, so maybe I’ve missed these episodes, but I’m yet to see any shoot-em-up boom-boom stuff. It could prolly use more of that. Or, bring in Big Manu Manu the Slender from _Necessary Roughness_ , make him Jabba’s cousin or something, and get things cookin. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/8 "2002-12-03T03:12:26Z")
no eggs please ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/9 "2002-12-03T17:01:39Z")
Ok here is a serious save idea, tell me what you think Archer and crew meet up with the next step in the line of ships the USS Valiant captained by Captain Roger Stiles an old classmate of Archers. Both ships are ordered to investigate a series of missing cargo ships in the most distant runs. Stiles and Archer have an old rivalry that has not been resolved and Stiles Lords over Archer on his updated designed ship (Of course using the upgrades suggested by the Enterprise crew) At first it is minor one upmaship the two try on each other but Archer is beginning to feel that maybe Starfleet may recall Enterprise and allow the Warp .5 faster Vallient to carry on the exploration. Stiles pushes it further by dropping huints that Starfleet command is a little more than annoyed with some of Archers Decisions. This is leading Archer to become more cautious and self doubting. When a distress signal comes from a frieghter he prepares to go but T’Pol warns that the area of Space is close to Romulan Space. Stiles goes in to take the glory and Archer holds back wondering if he should go in. A Surprise attack on the Vallient damages its engines. Archer reluctantly goes to its rescue but too late. The Ship is hit again and its engines go doing serious damage to the Enterprise as well. Cut To Starfleet command where a general Voice announcent tells them that by violating their space with two war ships there is now a war between the Romulans and them. (end of Episode) Episode 2 deals with the heavily damaged Enterprise (Yes this time there are casualties) Trying to get home. Archer whos indecision was slight now wonders if he can be a captain at all. he blames himself for the whole incident and is wracked with guilt. The Episode would primarily be about the attempts to keep the ship from blowing up itself and evading a Romulan Scout, While Archer comes to grips with the events of the last few days. The end of that episode would have the crew saved by several Satrfleet vessels. The emergancy drew that shuttles over to the ship contains a Leutenant Stiles Son of the late Captain, he will remain on the vessel as it is towed home for repairs. Romulan Earth War begins… Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/10 "2002-12-03T17:53:12Z")
The crew fights off an invasion of alien underpants knomes. The crew modifies their black van by welding stuff onto it- thus making it bullit proof and immune to the laws of physics and logic. Enterprise: After Dark-- now showing on late night Cinimax. Seriously: The producers fire every single writer and start from scratch paying top dollar to lure Joss Weldon to write and co-produce the show after the cancellation of Firefly, and the series finale of Buffy. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/11 "2002-12-03T18:42:41Z")
You know what I hate about Enterprise threads? I keep getting the feeling that people are saying my name; it’s very disconcerting. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/12 "2002-12-03T19:15:14Z")
Tonight on enterprise: Achernar and Archer team up to take down the mob… ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/13 "2002-12-03T19:51:18Z")
One word: Tribbles! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/14 "2002-12-03T21:55:03Z")
The crew of _Enterprise_ comes back in time to early 21st Century Earth and takes position over the headquarters of Fox Television and threatens to phaser them all into sparkly dust if they don’t keep making new episodes of the program which, due to its broadcasts just now reaching them in deep space, has rapidly become their favorite: “Firefly.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/15 "2002-12-03T22:08:22Z")
Good one, **kingpinkone** , but to keep continuity with _ST:TOS_, there can’t be a single scene actally showing Romulans. If they wante to be really kitchy, they could have future boy Daniels lead them into the war somehow, giving false info, or sabotaging guidence or something. So far, they’ve always managed to get out with some dignity (to them, not us), even outsmarting the Suliban. I would like to them turn tail and run for their lives like Picard did with The Borg. Maybe they could find the Dark Star holding The Evil Mind from Arthur C. Clarkes’ _The City and the Stars_, and have some virtually occultist stuff happen to them. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/16 "2002-12-04T01:26:22Z")
There _was_ a Romulan war; does anyone know when? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/17 "2002-12-04T01:33:05Z")
Anyone got Okuda’s Timeline of Star Trek (OWTFIRC)\* It’s listed there. Mine is so in the last truck I had and sold with it under the seat or something. _(or whatever the f_ck it’s really called) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/18 "2002-12-04T01:36:09Z")
Oh my Gawd! [LOOK!](http://www.starfleet-museum.org/romulan-war.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Vidking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Vidking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vidking)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/19 "2002-12-04T01:47:04Z")
I want Tribbles! and Barbra Lunar! How about this ? the whole show is just a holo-novel created by the doctor on Voyager. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2002, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094/20 "2002-12-04T01:47:30Z")
I thought it was all a joke until I saw “Archer” Class. Good gad! It’s real! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-enterprise-with-your-ideas-for-shows/140094.md?page=2)