# Save the life of a movie character who didn't deserve to die the way they did. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 10, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125 "2012-08-10T21:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/41 "2012-08-11T01:50:38Z")
(Spoilers ahoy for those who haven’t seen the \*Bourne \*movies!) Marie in _The Bourne Supremacy_. She was completely shafted by shitty writing. Also, Bourne was a complete bonehead to look her up at the end of _Identity_. He’d already sent her away to protect her once. WTF happened to that plan? Why would he suddenly think that she would be safe around him? You’d think he’d be smart enough to realize that \*someone \*might come looking for his ass. I stopped watching at the point where she’s killed, and never returned to the series after that, it pissed me off so badly. What would I do to save her? I would send a note to her Greek hangout saying: “Remember that Bourne dude? If he shows his face around here, tell him to bugger off and \*stay \*buggered off.” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/42 "2012-08-11T02:39:30Z")
Columbia. She’s about the only RHPS death I thought was really unfair. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/43 "2012-08-11T03:08:10Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Wilson! > I just need to be the voice in Tom Hanks’ head to get his ass moving quicker. Why do you think Wilson died? He’s an inflatable ball. They should have done a spinoff trilogy about Wilson’s adventures in the South Pacific. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/44 "2012-08-11T04:11:48Z")
I’ll go with the first film character whose unfair death traumatized my teenage self in 1966: Po-Han in “Sand Pebbles.” ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/45 "2012-08-11T04:19:52Z")
Wesley Wyndham-Price does not fall victim to a master sorcerer by trying to use magic against him. Instead, he whips out a sawed-off Mossberg and splats his head just like Illyria did. Wes shows up ready for battle at the end and makes a crack about needing a bigger gun. Gunn protests. “Hey what am I, chopped liver? Well, actually…” Wes busts out a bazooka and totally steals Angel’s thunder regarding slaying the dragon. I would also definitely save Bennett from Dollhouse. The scene would be similar except Topher would come in as Whiskey is raising the gun. Topher would yell out a phrase that sounds like nonsense (“Cuddly puppies!”) and Whiskey falls to the ground. In the chaos, she escapes but so do Bennett and Topher so they can make cute little socially awkward babies together. I wanted to see an Alien Vs. Predator sequel in which that huge awesome Queen easily snaps the chain off her leg, swims back up to the surface and sets up a nest on the boat the humans came in on. The lone survivor tries driving the boat back to Australia but falls asleep on the bridge and wakes up with a dead facehugger in front of her… ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/46 "2012-08-11T04:24:06Z")
Colm Meany in **Under Siege** as the guy who got reamed lengthwise by an I-beam. I wanted him to instead get bisected by a flying, spinning walk-in door. ---
**Author:** ![denquixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@denquixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/denquixote)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/47 "2012-08-11T04:29:54Z")
Nick Nolte character in “Who’ll Stop the Rain.” ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/48 "2012-08-11T04:55:45Z")
I’m going back to the NCIS verse and stopping Ari from killing Kate. But I am also arranging things so both Ziva and Kate are on Gibb’s squad. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/49 "2012-08-11T04:56:41Z")
_Breaking Bad_ spoilers within: Gale Boetticher. Gale freaking Boetticher. Yeah, the story arc of _Breaking Bad_ required him to be killed. But as a fellow chemist nerd, I really, really wanted him to live. Plus he was almost entirely innocent of all the ugliness and brutality of the meth cartel that he worked for. And he was so charmingly nerdy! On top of that - Jesse! Poor Jesse was the pawn manipulated into killing him. And it broke him up. I just want an alternate universe where I can give both of them a big hug, and say “Hey. Get out of this business. You’re both good men.” Of course Jesse is still alive, but he just needs a father figure, damn it! And Gale - I want to hang out in his nerdy bachelor pad, drink tea, and listen to Italian operas on vinyl. What a great nerd, a real shame he had to get shot in the face. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/50 "2012-08-11T05:00:01Z")
You know those guys, the last survivors of the massacre of bad guys in the Bond films, who take one last shot at Bond in the last scene of the movie before Bond floats off the the babe for some horizontal R&R? I wanna save the first of those guys, though without research I don’t recall which one that is. But saving the first one means Bond ends up dead, and the rest are saved too. And I get the babes. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/51 "2012-08-11T05:05:11Z")
Claiming special privilege again to make another save. This time, I’m gonna save Old Yeller. I’ll do it by shooting the rabid wolf before the infection. Old Yeller was a good dog. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/52 "2012-08-11T05:16:27Z")
Movie: Snape. But only after he gives his memories to Harry. TV: Dr Wilson in “House.” He and House could have both faked their deaths and run off to South America together. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/53 "2012-08-11T05:26:35Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > TV: Dr Wilson in “House.” He and House could have both faked their deaths and run off to South America together. I’d want to save Kutner too. And Amber, certainly. Come to think of it, I don’t think there was a single death on House that didn’t annoy me. The one character they \*should \*have killed off was Thirteen, as she was the one with the fatal disease, and she somehow walked away and instead went off to the Caribbean (or whatever it was) with her hot girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/54 "2012-08-11T21:04:57Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > One of Romeo’s friends finds the letter explaining Juliet’s plan, and rushes in at the last minute to stop Romeo from drinking the poison. Juliet’s plan is never derailed, she gets out alive, and the families still think they’ve taken a horrible loss for their feud. You do know that you just recapped an episode of [Man from Atlantis](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075533/) ? The episode was titled “[The Naked Montague](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0641018/)”. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/55 "2012-08-11T21:09:05Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > Wash. > > Joss Whedon is evil. > > StG Another vote. The death didn’t advance the film; at most it created 2 minutes of convo throughout the rest of the film. It was dumb. Edit…created less than _1_ minute of reference. It was REALLY dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/56 "2012-08-12T01:08:07Z")
I’m going to provide Valeria from _Conan the Barbarian_ a decent piece of torso armour. Snake has a headache, Valeria is saved. Conan and Valeria go off into the sunset with a bag of cash. All good. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/57 "2012-08-12T01:09:50Z")
Since the TV precedent has been set: Marcus. I’d pop in when he’s only _mostly_ drained by the machine, where he’s still at a point where he could recover, but still given enough. I mean, Susan could have at least boinked him once. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/58 "2012-08-12T02:01:28Z")
Rell the cyclops from Krull. Definitely didn’t deserve to die that way. all I need is to leave a conveniently handy cinderblock or two by that door. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/59 "2012-08-13T15:35:37Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > X2 - Dr. Jean Grey - You can do that telekinetic thing from pretty much anywhere - stay in the plane! Movie-Jean isn’t comics-Jean, and I’m sure she knows how to use her powers better than you do. If she felt she could only shield the Blackbird from outside, she was probably right. That said, the way to save her is to keep the dam from breaking in the first place. Just stay out of Magneto’s way while you do it. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125/60 "2012-08-13T15:51:13Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Since I’m on the “Really Cool Dudes” list…and I still happen to have the keys to Skald’s secret lair from a couple of years ago, I’m taking two turns. > > First, I’m going to ST: Generations and saving Captain Kirk. He deserves a much more glorious death than that. I’ll recklessly spend whatever it takes to get him safely out of that movie, then take him and the original Enterprise to the battle at Wolf 359. Kirk gets to gloriously evacuate all hands, rig up special massive explosive charges all over the ship, plant himself in the Captain’s chair, and ram the Borg Cube, causing it to blow up and saving the day one last time while earning his seat in Valhalla. > > Next, I’m bending the rules a bit, cuz I’m Oak and I do that, and going to Game of Thrones World. I’m going to save Ned Stark by drowning Geoffrey soon after the little rat bastard is born. I’m on board with the Kirk plan, but Rhymer Enterprises rules do not allow for the killing of children under any circumstances, up to and including “the kid is destined to become the Anti-Christ.” You can borrow a Phantom Zone projector an dump Geoff there once he turns 19, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-the-life-of-a-movie-character-who-didnt-deserve-to-die-the-way-they-did/631125.md?page=4)