# Save your relationship before it goes in the toilet

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 25, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086 "2007-07-25T14:48:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/21 "2007-07-25T17:40:21Z")

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I don’t hang toilet paper. It sits on the back lid of the toilet. If it hangs on the wall, I remove it while sitting on the toilet.

I realize, of course, that I am a freak, seeing as how I was raised by righteous over-the- top-ers. But I’m also left-handed, so its a genetic thing.

ETA: Even as a guy, I know the lid should be down when not in use. I may be a freak, but I’m not _weird_!

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**Author:** ![Soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/22 "2007-07-25T17:53:12Z")

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I’m with **Atomicktom** on this one. The toilet paper sits on the back lid of the toilet, mainly because our roll thing is in a stupidly awkward position. I couldn’t care less about the lid’s position, however.

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**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/23 "2007-07-25T18:01:36Z")

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[QUOTE=Missy2U]  
Actually, I’ve found that the secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms.  
[/QUOTE]

And separate toothpastes. My husband can do his anal-end-squeezing on his tube of Crest all day and not worry about me squeezing mine in the middle like all well-adjusted people.

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**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/24 "2007-07-25T18:04:28Z")

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No, [marital frustrations are actually channelled through the thermostat](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28119). Toilet paper is just a red herring.

Stranger

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**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/25 "2007-07-25T18:05:44Z")

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[QUOTE=Lissla Lissar]  
I don’t care, either. When I got married, and found out that Mr. Lissar not only cared, but had very strong feelings about it, I laughed for fifteen solid minutes.

He didn’t think it was funny.  
[/QUOTE]

Me too. And my husband tells _me_ I have OCD tendencies. Weirdo, heal thyself. 😃

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/26 "2007-07-25T18:13:10Z")

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[QUOTE=Soul]  
I’m with **Atomicktom** on this one. The toilet paper sits on the back lid of the toilet, mainly because our roll thing is in a stupidly awkward position. I couldn’t care less about the lid’s position, however.  
[/QUOTE]

How is the back of the toilet a less awkward position than anywhere the toilet paper hanger could realistically be? Where’s your hanger? In the kitchen? I hate hate hate hate finding the toilet paper roll on the back of the toilet, 'cause it’s, y’know, in BACK of me when I need to wipe, and too much contortion leads to further…uh…messiness.

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**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/27 "2007-07-25T18:20:55Z")

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Actually, our toilet paper isn’t even hung, because if we hang it on the roller, one of the cats plays unroll-and-claw with it. It sits on the radiator facing the toilet.

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**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/28 "2007-07-25T18:33:58Z")

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Our toilet paper is over the top, as the universe intended it shall be. Hanging it to roll behind is just plain _wrong_, in so many ways I don’t even know where to start.

In our house, fortunately I’m the only one who cares, so my way is The Law. Especially since Papa Tiger frequently empties the roll and \<gasp!\> doesn’t instantly refill it. Or he just pulls another roll out and leaves it on the counter or the back of the toilet. Naturally, the instant I see this, it is put in the holder, properly rolling over the top.

But we leave the toilet seats and lids down, too, because of the four-legged members of the family. Especially our yellow lab, Isaac, who once drank happily from a gutter in the French Quarter and suffered no ill effects whatsoever, even though the humans all wanted to throw up at the thought. So we try to keep him from having access to the nice flavored water or the nice tootsie rolls in the cat’s box. Stupid dog.

We use different toothpaste so it doesn’t matter. And we each have a bathroom that is one person’s primary, for showers and stuff, so I can leave my stuff around the tub the way I like it and he can do the same. Avoids a _lot_ of arguments. Because, after all, what is important?

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**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/29 "2007-07-25T18:42:26Z")

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I can see just from the responses to this thread that pig-molestation is a bigger problem in our world than I had previously thought.

Some of you people scare me, and others (I’m looking at you, **lieu** ), sadden me. I had thought much more highly of y’all than you apparently deserve.

It’s not too late, people. Turn back now.

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**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/30 "2007-07-25T18:46:01Z")

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[QUOTE=Lissla Lissar]  
Actually, our toilet paper isn’t even hung, because if we hang it on the roller, one of the cats plays unroll-and-claw with it.  
[/QUOTE]

We solved that problem by putting a towel over the roll of toilet paper when it’s not in use.

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**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/31 "2007-07-25T18:55:38Z")

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I can’t believe that there is a toilet paper thread nearly four hours old and **swampbear** hasn’t weighed in yet.

It’s all about the cats, like **LiLi** says. Over-the-top means that the cats determine how much usable paper is left on the roll, and Behind means that they leave it alone.

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**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/32 "2007-07-25T18:56:33Z")

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**Swampy** is working second shift right now, so he won’t be on until late tonight.

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**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/33 "2007-07-25T19:05:01Z")

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Over the top, of course. Do you want to wipe your rear with something rubbing against the wall? I thought not.

As for seats, I’m with the OP, but I’m badly outnumbered in my house by women, so I never even tried to keep the seat up. In any case, the downside of falling into the toilet in the dark far outweighs the trouble of lifting it when needed. The lid in the master bathroom usually stays up, since sitting down to find a lid in the way is only slightly less annoying than not finding a seat. (I’m at the age where most trips to our bathroom come between 2 and 5 am.)

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**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/34 "2007-07-25T19:05:17Z")

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You guys are just lucky to have someone to complain about this. Some of us have to go it alone.

And we just leave it on the floor within easy reach. 🙂

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**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/35 "2007-07-25T19:18:20Z")

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It’s beyond me why you would want TP against the wall. You’re rubbing the wall with your toilet fingers, and it’s harder to grab the paper when it’s against the wall.

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**Author:** ![AHoosierMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/258eb7/32.png) [@AHoosierMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHoosierMama)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/36 "2007-07-25T19:20:46Z")

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It is hard for me to imagine caring enough about toilet paper to have a shouting match about it. Whenever I’m tempted to try to out-argue HoosierDaddy about anything, I try to remember the words of Click and Clack when people call with a marital car-related dispute. They always ask “Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?”

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**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/37 "2007-07-25T19:25:22Z")

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[QUOTE=AHoosierMama]  
It is hard for me to imagine caring enough about toilet paper to have a shouting match about it.  
[/QUOTE]

Oh, right. Next you’ll tell me that you two don’t argue about where the forks, spoons and knives go in the silverware drawer.

Go ahead. Pull the other leg.

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**Author:** ![AHoosierMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/258eb7/32.png) [@AHoosierMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHoosierMama)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/38 "2007-07-25T19:26:28Z")

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[QUOTE=Sauron]  
Oh, right. Next you’ll tell me that you two don’t argue about where the forks, spoons and knives go in the silverware drawer.

Go ahead. Pull the other leg.  
[/QUOTE]

Now - leaving your shoes willy-nilly wherever they come off your feet. I can get good and worked up about that.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/39 "2007-07-25T19:30:56Z")

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[QUOTE=Sauron]  
Oh, right. Next you’ll tell me that you two don’t argue about where the forks, spoons and knives go in the silverware drawer.  
[/QUOTE]  
Well, certainly not flush against the back of the drawer. I prefer front and center and separated where you can… you know… get a grip.

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**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/save-your-relationship-before-it-goes-in-the-toilet/413086/40 "2007-07-25T19:33:10Z")

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[QUOTE=lieu]  
Well, certainly not flush against the back of the drawer.  
[/QUOTE]

My man! You’re redeeming yourself before my very eyes!

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