[Captain America voice] I got that. I got that reference.
And I’m sure you’ll agree that there are certain things no-one wants to see hanging over his garden wall. 
I heard that as part of an old Eastern European Jewish joke – about the town of Chelm, reputed in the lore of that milieu, to be inhabited totally by utterly stupid and clueless Jews, plus a few equally stupid Christians to do the necessary Sabbath chores… one day, the wise men of Chelm had a dispute about which was the most useful, the moon or the sun – and came to the above conclusion.
If we could just pull the moon in closer, so that it looks like a ridiculously huge, glowing white balloon, that will serve the purpose, too. Never mind the tides. And the bonus: we get complete solar eclipses that last hours.
Been reading “Buy Jupiter!”?
How 'bout we just stick a few more moons up, evenly spaced, so there’s light through all the nights.
5 more should do it.
We can borrow some asteroids, maybe.
Good plan, but asteroids are tiny. I say we rope in some of Jupiter’s moons. It’s not like anyone’s using them at the moment. Maybe even grab Mercury. That would be pretty awesome.
If the moon at half the distance, the tides would be 8 times as large and solar eclipses would be ho hum with spectacular displays only at the beginning and end of totality. Actually, it would be the part of the tides attributable to the moon that would be eight times as large. They would still be 6 times as large. Have a tsunami four times a day (the tides would also be more frequent).
And freaking expensive.
I say we dump all our light-colored garbage on the moon, and leave it at that. A layer of discarded styrofoam cups and Big Mac containers should do a decent job.
A mirrored Moon would give on average the same amount of light to the Earth as an all-white Moon, but it would look like a single, painfully-bright small spot of light, with most of the surface dark. It wouldn’t actually matter if the mirror were a single uniform spherical surface or a bunch of flat panels, since the source of illumination isn’t a point source, and is in fact just about the same angular size as the Moon itself.
Either a white moon or a mirrored moon would be considerably brighter, in total, than the Moon we actually have, since the real Moon is a very dark gray, almost black. It only looks white because we’re usually comparing it to the even darker sky.