# Saving Hitler **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 1, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400 "2016-10-01T19:34:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/1 "2016-10-01T19:34:00Z")
Everybody knows [Hitler’s time travel exemption act](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct) prevents anybody from killing Adolf before his allotted time in the bunker. But what of instead of trying to kill him, we tase him \*just \*before he pulls the trigger on his Walther PPK in his Berlin bunker, bundle him into our TARDIS and hand him over to…well, just who gets hold of him is another question. Unfortunately due to timey-wimey things I can only hand him to contemporary forces. Question inspired by the wartime [OSS report](http://www.nizkor.org/hweb/people/h/hitler-adolf/oss-papers/text/oss-profile-06.html) on Hitler’s psychology and his eventual fate, noting that capture: \* “…is the most unlikely possibility of all. Knowing his fear of being placed in the role of the vanquished, we can imagine that he would do his utmost to avoid such a fate. From our point of view it would not be undesirable.”\* What do you reckon - would it be undesirable? ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/2 "2016-10-01T21:36:02Z")
Letting him blow his own brains out is more merciful than he deserves. I’m turning him over to the Soviets. (So I’m a bad person.) ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/3 "2016-10-01T21:52:51Z")
Give him to the Allies and let him stand trial. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/4 "2016-10-01T22:36:22Z")
Surely it was a Luger, No? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/5 "2016-10-01T22:51:26Z")
The actual gun was pointed out, and was a small Walther. (Obviously, the gun could have been switched by one of the others in the bunker.) ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/6 "2016-10-01T23:10:48Z")
Give him to the Soviets, let them display him in Moscow as he feared, and show the world that for all his evil he is just a man. After that they can do what they want with him. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/7 "2016-10-02T00:57:14Z")
Turn him over to the Israelis. If they have sense, IMHO, they’ll take him out with a simple firing squad. No sense in turning this into any kind of spectacle. It’ll be just his luck, though, to be executed on a Jewish holiday. (Old joke, yes. I trust that someone will tell it to him beforehand.) ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/8 "2016-10-02T01:02:31Z")
Gas him and the other top Nazis at Auschwitz and film it. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/9 "2016-10-02T01:54:31Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > Turn him over to the Israelis. The OP specified _contemporary_ authorities. As Israel was formed in 1948 the OP would preclude this. I think Hitler would hate being captured by the Soviets the greatest. I really try to keep my revenge fantasies under control, but I may make an exception. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/10 "2016-10-02T02:11:19Z")
I don’t trust the Soviets to handle the matter correctly and there’s an awful lot I’d like him questioned on before he’s tried and executed. Allied Anglo-American forces please. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/11 "2016-10-02T02:40:48Z")
I don’t know what you could hope to gain from keeping hitler alive. Unless you want to prove that Stalin is more deranged than he is. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/12 "2016-10-02T06:36:58Z")
Give him to the US. \*\*Not \*\*Soviets. Don’t let Stalin have that to celebrate. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/13 "2016-10-02T16:08:05Z")
Changing the past is always dangerous. If you value the present, you just observe and let him do what he wants to do. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/14 "2016-10-02T17:31:44Z")
Keeping Hitler alive likely means a lot less vigorous prosecution of lower-tier war criminals. Giving him a trial also gives him one last pulpit to vomit his worldview from, and creates more of a martyr for future (i.e. contemporary to us) idiots to build a mythos around. And no amount of suffering at Soviet or kz prisoners’ hands would ever come close to sufficient retribution for what he was responsible for. He died alone, broken, in the ruins of his empire, after having killed his woman and more importantly his dog, betrayed by almost everyone who licked his boots for 15 years. That was probably his max nightmare scenario already. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/15 "2016-10-02T17:37:47Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Surely it was a Luger, No? Nope. And, yup, James Bond carried a German gun. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/16 "2016-10-02T17:38:04Z")
Fuck, I misread the question. I’d like to change my answer to “give him to some concentration camp survivors.” And tell them to have fun. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/17 "2016-10-02T17:40:18Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > Turn him over to the Israelis. If they have sense, IMHO, they’ll take him out with a simple firing squad. No sense in turning this into any kind of spectacle. > > It’ll be just his luck, though, to be executed on a Jewish holiday. (Old joke, yes. I trust that someone will tell it to him beforehand.) > [@TokyoBayer](#): > > The OP specified _contemporary_ authorities. As Israel was formed in 1948 the OP would preclude this… . OK, turn him over to… the Argentinians. Who manage to keep him hidden for five years before the Israelis find out, and then they kidnap him and then put him on trial. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/18 "2016-10-02T17:50:36Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > The actual gun was pointed out, and was a small Walther. > > (Obviously, the gun could have been switched by one of the others in the bunker.) The Germans had been trying to phase out the Luger for some time as it was clunky and too complex for a military sidearm. I doubt Hitler would have had last year’s model. As to the OP, I toss him in front of The Soviets. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/19 "2016-10-02T20:13:49Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > Gas him and the other top Nazis at Auschwitz and film it. The Nazis had demolished the gas chambers when they evacuated the camp in January, 1945, although I appreciate your sense of historical irony. Churchill thought he should fry on the electric chair like a ‘gangster’. > [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > Turn him over to the Israelis. If they have sense, IMHO, they’ll take him out with a simple firing squad. No sense in turning this into any kind of spectacle. > > It’ll be just his luck, though, to be executed on a Jewish holiday. (Old joke, yes. I trust that someone will tell it to him beforehand.) As pointed out you’re a bit too early, though you could give him to the Zionists already in the British Mandatory Palestine I guess. > [@Gatopescado](#): > > Surely it was a Luger, No? Double checked before I posted, according to Hitler’s adjutant Otto Günsche the gun he found next to the deceased Fuhrer was a Walther PPK chambered in 7.65. > [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > I don’t trust the Soviets to handle the matter correctly and there’s an awful lot I’d like him questioned on before he’s tried and executed. Allied Anglo-American forces please. I chose the Soviet option very specifically as it was this department which had been charged by Stavka to find concrete information on the whereabouts or fate of Hitler, so he wouldn’t have been shot out of hand if that’s what concerns you (likewise I chose SHAEF HQ to make sure no frontline British or American soldier with his blood up would be tempted by the accolade of being the man who killed Hitler). Granted trusting Stalin with legal proceedings is like trusting a hungry shark as a swimming instructor for toddlers, it’s just not going to end well, so your point is well taken. > [@drewder](#): > > I don’t know what you could hope to gain from keeping hitler alive. Unless you want to prove that Stalin is more deranged than he is. Like I said in the OP it was to put to the test the OSS’s statement that a captured Hitler would be, in their words, ‘not undesirable’, whether it would be best for him to stand trial like a common criminal and if it balances with the trade-off of both keeping him alive and giving him more time to spout his bile, or whether it would give us anything worthwhile. I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of ‘cheating the hangman’ like many top Nazis, Goebbels, Himmler, and just before he was literally about to be hanged, Goering. What intrigues me is how much does it matter, if they’re going to swing anyway? Or in Hitler’s case have the worst honeymoon ever. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400/20 "2016-10-02T22:18:27Z")
Oh. Right. Of all things, I think I whiffed on the meaning of ‘contemporary’. Then contemporary, not now contemporary. …Oops. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saving-hitler/767400.md?page=2)