# Say anything? Or keep my damn mouth shut? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725 "2011-12-29T14:56:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/21 "2011-12-30T05:27:26Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > …Usually women are really stealthy about this it could be something as little as touching your arm for a split second during a conversation, flipping her hair. This is at least partly why my dating history has been a series of epic failures, I just can’t respond to subtleties like this, because I don’t trust my own judgement about what something indirect like that means, or doesn’t mean. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/22 "2011-12-30T08:09:47Z")
Have you ever said something and as soon as the words left your mouth you realize it might be taken the wrong way? When she said, “…I haven’t had a man in my life in five years…”, she may have realized that might hurt your feelings so she came up with, “I didn’t count you because we only went out on a couple of dates.” That’s called a ‘save’. Let it go. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/23 "2011-12-30T08:41:40Z")
Every time I see a version of this question my default is to think “Keep your mouth shut” without even reading the thread. Having read the thread, I do not change my default. Keep your mouth shut. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/24 "2011-12-30T15:28:25Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Every time I see a version of this question my default is to think “Keep your mouth shut” without even reading the thread. > > Having read the thread, I do not change my default. Keep your mouth shut. It’s just like the “Is this a scam?” threads. Yes. Yes, it’s a scam. I would place bets blind that it’s a scam and win 99% of them. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/25 "2011-12-30T19:15:22Z")
I was going to say “Say something!!!1!!” just so the decision wouldn’t be unanimous, but \*\*handsomeharry \*\*beat me to it. Since he’s taken care of that angle, I’ll go ahead agree with everyone else and advise you to keep your damn mouth shut. ---
**Author:** ![UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/46a35a/32.png) [@UFC\_Is\_Sux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UFC_Is_Sux)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/26 "2011-12-30T19:29:00Z")
Another “mouth shut” vote here. > [@](#): > > Later on that evening she pulls me aside and says: “We can still be friends right?” At the time, I thought it was a dubious thing to say but I said “Sure we can. Why not?” We hugged and went on. Why dubious? She knew that you saw her with a handsome BF and thought you might be a little hurt by that, and was trying to spare your feelings. I’d call that kind, not dubious. > [@](#): > > She has it in her head that I was wanting something more out of those two dates we had. A distinct possibility. (And someday, I hope I too can find a girl who happens to be a friend who likes the same geeky things I do and who WOULDN’T get her intestines ripped out via her mouth by my current girlfriend who understands none of them.) ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/27 "2011-12-30T19:56:24Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > I don’t think she thought you wanted more. If she did, she would have said something like “You missed your chance!” > > It seems more like she wants to acknowledge your friendship, and that she enjoyed your dates. I agree. I don’t see anything in her remarks that suggest that she misinterpreted your position in the “relationship.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725/28 "2011-12-30T20:01:25Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I’m pretty sure the answer is: “Keep my damn mouth shut.” But I feel compelled to ask anyway. > > I have this female friend at work. This is as far as I read. The answer is “keep your damn mouth shut.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-anything-or-keep-my-damn-mouth-shut/607725.md?page=1)