# Say hi to the new guy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2006, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185 "2006-08-18T02:43:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/41 "2006-08-19T00:28:41Z")
[QUOTE=InappropriateHumor] Howdy fellow newbie! You’re right, you have to watch out for the nitpickers. Sometimes they pinch. Purely accidental, you understand. [/QUOTE] (in the crab voice) I like to pinch. Little pinch? ---
**Author:** ![jimbeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@jimbeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbeam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/42 "2006-08-19T07:54:08Z")
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom] Welcome! Any friend of \*\*twicks \*\* is a friend of mine! She did tell you about the requisite chocolate love offerings that all new members are required to send me, didn’t she? No, really, it’s a rule. OK, maybe it’s not a rule, but it should be. 😃 [/QUOTE] I’ve got a bottle of chocolate flavored body oil. Will that do? or would you simply prefer a box of turtles. 😛 \< turtle ---
**Author:** ![jimbeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@jimbeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbeam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/43 "2006-08-19T10:00:30Z")
[QUOTE=wonderlust] I’m nobody, but welcome anyway. Your future plans sound interesting. Btw, have you seen Snakes on a Boat yet? [/QUOTE] snakes on a boat? WTF… I’m gettin whooshed, I know it. Hey if my plans work out maybe I can work it where some dopefans can cruise the carribean w/me for cost. I’m not sure if I’ll be leaving from here or the east coast. (Got folks in Va.) but I figured on spending some time just checking the local waters. If I start here I figure everything from cancun to padre to new orleans down and around Fla. island hop for a couple of months and up the eastern seaboard to Va. Then make plans to really get away. I’d like to circumnavigate, making port on weekends wherever I’m at. up from va. to newscotland\>across to G.land\> Iceland\> ireland\> UK\> Fra\>\>\>espana\>mediterranean\>(check it out for several weeks at least)out and down to good hope\>\>madagascar\>\>up and across to india\>\>down through indonesia\>\>OZ\>\>Z-land\>southpacific (probably be there awhile) back up through phillipines and southeast asia\>\>japan..sthkorea\>\>kamchatka\>\>aleutians..down west US coast and south from there. gotta stop Baja\>\>acupulco\>\>costa rica\>\>around the horn\>\>north to del rio and back in the Carribean\>\>home I figure about 3yrs. minimum Yeah I know its sounds kinda out there but I’ve done everything else I wanted to do and WTF it sounds like a hell of an adventure. If I can just sell my land I’ll be set. Already got a couple of boats lined out. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/44 "2006-08-19T10:09:03Z")
Welcome **jimbeam** enjoy the experience and never forget we are very humble on here. I cannot help but notice that you never brought pie…bad start man, really bad 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jimbeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@jimbeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbeam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/45 "2006-08-19T10:15:56Z")
Hey **Chowder** I brought the booze, I’m lining up the women, got a nekkid party in the works, hooked up somebody with chocolate body oil, and I’m making plans to take y’all on a carribean cruise. WTF else can I do? Pie? no problem buddy, what kind. Personally, I like pecan pies but for you I can probably find some kinda UK pie. What’ll it be? blood or kidney? I promise you pie by this evening. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/46 "2006-08-19T10:21:49Z")
[QUOTE=jimbeam] Hey **Chowder** I brought the booze, I’m lining up the women, got a nekkid party in the works, hooked up somebody with chocolate body oil, and I’m making plans to take y’all on a carribean cruise. WTF else can I do? Pie? no problem buddy, what kind. Personally, I like pecan pies but for you I can probably find some kinda UK pie. What’ll it be? blood or kidney? I promise you pie by this evening. 😉 [/QUOTE] I’ll settle for the pecan covered in nekkid women and chocolate body oil whilst sprawled on a boat in the Carribean throwing steak and kidney pie at the seagulls. Oh yes the booze will come in handy as well. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/47 "2006-08-19T10:54:20Z")
[QUOTE=jimbeam] Did what to my member? [/QUOTE] Hey, you’re the one who decided to “member up.” Which, if you think about is, sounds like something a fluffer would say. You ain’t a fluffer, is ya boy? ---
**Author:** ![jimbeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@jimbeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbeam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/48 "2006-08-19T11:00:00Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Hey, you’re the one who decided to “member up.” Which, if you think about is, sounds like something a fluffer would say. You ain’t a fluffer, is ya boy? [/QUOTE] I never thought about it that way. No, that would definitely be a new experience for me. Not an idea that really yanks my crank. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/49 "2006-08-19T11:10:57Z")
[QUOTE=jimbeam] I never thought about it that way. No, that would definitely be a new experience for me. Not an idea that really yanks my crank. [/QUOTE] Ah, a fluffee! Well hell son, put your feet up and sit a spell. There’s a cold one right over in that cooler. Yeah, I guess I’m ready for one too, if ya don’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![jimbeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@jimbeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbeam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/50 "2006-08-19T11:19:38Z")
I’ll grab you a beer if’n ya like, but I’m sippin on this sour mash, you wanna pull. Beers alright but after a few of 'em it’s time to pick it up abit. A bottle of Cuervo will do just as well. BTW, When’s them damned nekkid wimmin gettin here? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/51 "2006-08-19T21:17:46Z")
Hi, new guy! I’ve been to your brewery. ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/52 "2006-08-19T22:43:17Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Hey, you’re the one who decided to “member up.” Which, if you think about is, sounds like something a fluffer would say. You ain’t a fluffer, is ya boy? [/QUOTE] Rule Three: No fluffers. Rule Six: There is no Rule Six. [cite](http://www.adelaide.edu.au/library/guide/hum/philosophy/philos_bruce.html) ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/53 "2006-08-19T23:51:49Z")
Oh no. Fluffers is something very different from poofters. If there’s something we need that we don’t have, it’s a bunch o’ fluffers. So, who’s gonna open up the pen and release the fluffers? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/54 "2006-08-20T00:38:21Z")
Well, see, we need poofters. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/55 "2006-08-20T01:25:12Z")
Well, we don’t NOT need poofters. We definitely need fluffers, or at least some that will openly admit to fluffing until the sun goes down. Just don’t let that sun go down on me. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/56 "2006-08-20T04:21:20Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] Rule Three: No fluffers. Rule Six: There is no Rule Six. [cite](http://www.adelaide.edu.au/library/guide/hum/philosophy/philos_bruce.html) [/QUOTE] Oh, blow me, you you stuck-up sticky-beak. And while you’re it, rustle up a bunch of nekkid wimmen. Or womyn. You’re call. The newbie forgot to bring any. (Perhaps he should back off the sour mash Cuervo Gold Manhattans. Tends to interfere with the short term memory.) ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/57 "2006-08-20T04:35:02Z")
And that’s _your_ call, you pedantic … person! And oh by the way, there may not be a Rule Six, but there by god is a [Number Six.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_Six_(The_Prisoner)) ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/58 "2006-08-20T08:32:56Z")
Texan, eh…do you have a ranch in Crawford and just want to buy a sailboat to get away from all that hard work? As I am sure you are aware, it is customary to post a link to a nude photo of yourself when you are new on this board. Also, be sure to include your full name, credit card number and expiration date in your profile. Charter Members are always addressed as, “Dear Wise One”. There is a secret handshake you will learn at your first Dopefest…it entails unzipping your pants and standing on your head (we provide pillows). Other than that, you seem to have the lay of the land here. Welcome aBoard! ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/59 "2006-08-20T10:50:47Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Oh, blow me, you you stuck-up sticky-beak. And while you’re it, rustle up a bunch of nekkid wimmen. Or womyn. You’re call. The newbie forgot to bring any. (Perhaps he should back off the sour mash Cuervo Gold Manhattans. Tends to interfere with the short term memory.) [/QUOTE] Nekkid wimmen coming up. OK that they’re all dead? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185/60 "2006-08-20T14:42:49Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] Nekkid wimmen coming up. OK that they’re all dead? [/QUOTE] How dead? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-hi-to-the-new-guy/369185.md?page=4)