# Say my name, dammit **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536 "2014-03-25T17:15:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/21 "2014-03-25T20:45:09Z")
The people I work with are just horrible about pronouncing each other’s names. One guy is named Seid, pronounced S’yed. Not too tricky for me. Everybody else calls him Sid or Said. Another guy’s name is Anders. Pronounced On-ders. For everybody else in the room, it’s Ann-ders. I even tried to help: “Guys, it’s On-ders, just like Hans Christian Anderson.” _blink blink_ A Chinese lady named Zhoua joined, and _they asked her how to pronounce her name._ She said “Zhu-va,” with a very light ‘v’. No problem. Next day, everybody’s calling her Zo-uh or Zo-ee. A couple weeks later, I’m running a conference bridge and she’s taking over for me, so I go off mute and say “Hey, guys, I’m dropping off the bridge, my replacement will be Zhoua.” She said she liked how I pronounce her name, and somebody said “How’s he pronounce it?” Zhoua: “Correctly.” ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/22 "2014-03-25T21:36:35Z")
My next-door neighbors moved in when I was under three years old. They had come from the deep south, following the husband’s career in the Navy. My mother introduced me as \ and noted that everyone called me \*\*\*ie. So, whenever I was around with the rest of the neighborhood kids, Mrs. C would refer to me as \*\*\* - \*\*\* and it would irritate the hell out of me. Still, I was a kid and she was an adult and there wasn’t anything I could do but answer to the “diminutive twee form” of my name. However, my school mates called me \*\*\*ie and that worked fine. When I got into 6th grade the teacher started calling me \*\*\* and it seemed odd but it seemed better in some imperceptible way. I asked the teacher why he called me \*\*\* instead of \*\*\*ie and he said it was because I wasn’t a \*\*\*ie any more; \*\*\*ie was a kid’s name while \*\*\* was better (more appropriate) for a young man. I asked how he ‘knew’ that and he said, “Because that’s my name too – but you still have to call me Mister \_\_\_\_\_.” So I started answering to \*\*\* and, by the time I graduated, was writing my formal name on any paperwork that required my name and answered to \*\*\* with most people, answered to just my surname with a few others, and answered to some odd nicknames among the odd clique of gamers and martial artists that I joined in high school. By then the neighbors had moved again, renting out their house while following Mr. C’s Navy deployments. I got my diploma, my degree, three black belts, and went off to teach English in Japan. When I got back I learned Mr. C had retired and moved with his wife back to the house next to my mother’s property. I went over to greet them and when Mrs. C opened the door she immediately yelled\* a cheerful, “Well Hi, \*\*\* - \*\*\*, come on in!” I stepped forward, then paused and looked her in the eye and said, “It’s just \*\*\*, if you don’t mind. I thought I’d come over and welcome you guys back to the neighborhood – though I know I’m a couple months late.” “Oh–of course, \*\*\* - \*\*\*, I’m sorry.” she replied as she let me into the house, “You’re all grown up now and I’m still calling you by a kid’s name.” I tried to shrug it off and noted that it had been about twenty years since they had last seen me. I went and chatted with Mr. and Mrs. C for a while, catching up on their travels and my achievements and bristling every time Mrs. C called me \*\*\* - \*\*\*. Then Mrs. C got up and went to the kitchen while Mr. C was telling me about military planes. She interrupted us with, “You want a soda, \*\*\* - \*\*\*?” “Dammit, Liz!” Mr. C bellowed, “You’re supposed to call him \*\*\* now. He’s got a degree now – and a black belt, fer Chrissakes!” “Oh! I’m sorry!” Mrs. C apologized again, “It’s just that I’m so used to calling him \*\*\* - \*\*\*.” “Yeah, well show him some respect,” Mr. C told her, “before he kicks your ass.” It was harder for me to stifle my laughter than it had been to stifle my bristling over the name issue. I hadn’t even suggested he say something like that and it shocked me and Mrs. C at the same time. I chose that moment to leave so I declined the drink offer and headed for the door. As I left, I noted, “I’ve never been in a fight about my name. I really just answer to \*\*\* now.” And that finally got her to stop calling me that. —G! What’s your name? Little Girl What’s your name? Shootin’ straight Little Girl Won’t ya do the same? …-- Rossington/Van Zant (Lynrd Skynrd) …What’s Your Name? …Street Survivors \*Over the years, Mrs. C had become hard of hearing, so she would yell to make sure she could hear herself. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/23 "2014-03-25T23:28:57Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > Oh, excuse me. I must have mispronounced **my own name**. Silly me. This is my story as well. My name is pronounced exactly as it is spelled (by the rules of English, anyway). And yet people insist on using a more common version which is spelled and pronounced differently. Often very nice people, and you can only correct them so many times. Subtle attempts to mispronounce their names fall flat; nobody ever gets it. (“Nice to meet you, Mick-ile.”) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Gnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_gnomer/32/3466_2.png) [@Miss\_Gnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Gnomer)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/24 "2014-03-25T23:38:53Z")
I’m not sure which country you are in … but don’t ever visit/live in Australia if this upsets you! It’s a cultural norm to abbreviate or change people’s names … and done by strangers. If you got upset at this, you would be considered very odd and pretentious! It’s considered a compliment and a sign of liking that someone changes your name. I do remember a third date I went on that I asked the guy what his name was … and he looked at me blankly … but he’d used a couple of variations of his name himself … and I had no idea what to call him! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/25 "2014-03-25T23:41:04Z")
My parents put “Steve”\* on my birth certificate. Not “Steven” or “Stephen” or “Stephan”, just that simple one-syllable name, because they figured (rightly) that that was the name I would use all the time. Occasionally, someone will use the long form of my name, and the janitor in grade school used “Stevie”, but it has never bothered me. For most people, the syllable is the easiest way to go. \*_not my real name_ ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/26 "2014-03-26T01:04:26Z")
> [@Miss\_Gnomer](#): > > I’m not sure which country you are in … but don’t ever visit/live in Australia if this upsets you! It’s a cultural norm to abbreviate or change people’s names … and done by strangers. If you got upset at this, you would be considered very odd and pretentious! > > It’s considered a compliment and a sign of liking that someone changes your name. I was about to add something like this. If you corrected someone in an Aussie office on your name, most people would use it, (apart from those that now have an easy way to get you annoyed) but then the conversation after you left would be something along the lines of “That Michael bloke is a bit up himself” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/27 "2014-03-26T01:17:23Z")
Oh, good lord… we have a new guy starting on Monday; his name’s Aboma and people are already referring to him as Obama. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/28 "2014-03-26T02:43:10Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > The people I work with are just horrible about pronouncing each other’s names. One guy is named Seid, pronounced S’yed. Not too tricky for me. Everybody else calls him Sid or Said. Another guy’s name is Anders. Pronounced On-ders. For everybody else in the room, it’s Ann-ders. I even tried to help: “Guys, it’s On-ders, just like Hans Christian Anderson.” You mean of course Hans Christian OndersEn. Sorry, couldn’t resist. But you know, I have never heard anyone say HCA’s name with the initial A pronounced as it would’ve been in Danish. Always Andersen, as in Ann or Anthony. If you said OndersEn to me it’d take me a moment to figure out who you were talking about! I much prefer my actual name to a shortened form. I was quite insistent on it as a kid, less so when I got to college. It has become a lot easier to get people to call me by my real name in the last ten or 15 years. I’ll still answer to the nickname though. ---
**Author:** ![Thinktank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Thinktank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinktank)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/29 "2014-03-26T02:46:38Z")
Missgnomer and greedysmurf, with all due respect you are in Australia and I live in the states (that’s what the English say anyway, thought I’d try it out) Cultural caveats I can understand, especially if I’m the immigrant/visitor in YOUR country. Besides, I don’t think it’s really the place for me anyway, it’s my wife’s dream and she’s from Poland and we live in the South and her native given name Asia which is the equivalent “Joanna” is routinely pronounced as “Jo Ann” and guess what?.. drives her nuts xD ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/30 "2014-03-26T02:54:43Z")
> [@Miss\_Gnomer](#): > > I’m not sure which country you are in … but don’t ever visit/live in Australia if this upsets you! It’s a cultural norm to abbreviate or change people’s names … and done by strangers. If you got upset at this, you would be considered very odd and pretentious! > > It’s considered a compliment and a sign of liking that someone changes your name. > > I do remember a third date I went on that I asked the guy what his name was … and he looked at me blankly … but he’d used a couple of variations of his name himself … and I had no idea what to call him! Glad I don’t live there! It would both piss me off and confuse me. Being called some random name would leave me wondering who they were talking to. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/31 "2014-03-26T03:58:50Z")
In my case . . . say there are 3 forms of my (not real) name, Thomas, Tom and Tommy. I call myself Tom, and always have, as far back as I can remember. I don’t recall ever being called Thomas, except maybe in a legal context, but family members have always called me Tommy, which I consider a baby name. Back when I lived in NYC, many people called me Tommy, which is sort of a New York thing. Now back here, it’s just family numbers. You’d think, by the time someone’s 68, his relatives would no longer consider him a baby. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/32 "2014-03-26T04:05:43Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Oh, good lord… we have a new guy starting on Monday; his name’s Aboma and people are already referring to him as Obama. I was an summer intern in college at a Fortune 100 company, with another girl from my school. My maiden name was Curie, her first name was Marie.\* _No one_ managed to call either of us by our right names for the entire summer. We were both Marie Curie, come hell or high water. - Made-up names for purposes of illustration. ---
**Author:** ![buddy431](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@buddy431](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddy431)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/33 "2014-03-26T04:57:53Z")
I never get worked up about what people call me: Tom vs. Thomas\*. On a fairly regular basis people will ask me which I prefer, and I sort of shrug, say “probably Tom, but it doesn’t really matter” But maybe if it did matter to me I’d focus on the times that people didn’t ask. I have a coworker Anthony\*, and I can never remember whether he goes by that or Tony. I call him Anthony, figuring it’s better to err on the side or the full name. He’s never said anything. Maybe he secretly hates it but doesn’t want to say anything at work. \*Made up names ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/34 "2014-03-26T06:50:50Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > This is my story as well. My name is pronounced exactly as it is spelled (by the rules of English, anyway). And yet people insist on using a more common version which is spelled and pronounced differently. Often very nice people, and you can only correct them so many times. Subtle attempts to mispronounce their names fall flat; nobody ever gets it. (“Nice to meet you, Mick-ile.”) Yeah, this. The thing is that I will answer to a lot of things, including certain diminutives of my name, which is Suzanne. Relatives call me Suzy, friends call me Suze, most other people I know manage to come out with Suzanne, and one person who likes to add an “ee” sound to everybody’s name calls me “Suzannie.” What bugs me is when people call me Sue or Susan. I flat-out hate Sue, at least when applied to me (don’t know why, my favorite aunt and the one I was named for was mostly called Sue, but there it is: I don’t like it), and Susan just irritates me because they got it wrong. It’s only slightly wrong, but it’s still wrong. Usually the people I spelled it for and pronounced it for (and really, it is NOT a hard name, at all) who then mispronounce it are very temporary, like calling my name to say my order is ready, but if they are more permanent, say coworkers, then I will correct them. I once worked with a woman who went ballistic if anyone called her anything but Judith, and yet she routinely called me “Sue.” I retaliated by calling her “Ju.” When she went predictably apeshit I pointed out that if she could have preferences about how people said her name, I could, too. Oddly enough, that hadn’t seemed to have occurred to her. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/35 "2014-03-26T07:55:24Z")
Here in Opposite Land, I have the opposite problem. Me: I’m Carol. Every Other Person I Meet: Hi, Caroline. That’s not my name. It has never been my name. It will never be my name. That didn’t stop my ex’s aunt calling me that for seven years. And I live in Australia: land of shortening people’s names. It’s weird. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/36 "2014-03-26T08:15:08Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > Here in Opposite Land, I have the opposite problem. > > Me: I’m Carol. > Every Other Person I Meet: Hi, Caroline. > > That’s not my name. It has never been my name. It will never be my name. That didn’t stop my ex’s aunt calling me that for seven years. > > And I live in Australia: land of shortening people’s names. It’s weird. My sister has a similar thing, her name is legitimately the short form. The name on her birth certificate is (for example) Patty, not Patricia. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/37 "2014-03-26T09:02:13Z")
On a vaguely similar note towards the end of series 5 of _Entourage_ there is s scene where Vince is talking about a role in a Martin Scorsese movie. They all pronounce his name Scor-say-zee. Then Scorsese rings Vince and says [Hello Vince it’s Marty Scorsese…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nxulKueSzM). And then Vince proceeds to pronounce it differently when explaining who called. Baffling. I now pronounce it as Scorsese does. It is his name after all. ---
**Author:** ![mo50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@mo50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mo50)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/38 "2014-03-26T14:11:15Z")
I’m guilty of doing this. Not Australian, but I do guess its a means of subtly letting you know I like you, am comfortable with you, that sorta thing, but I certainly will respect someones wishes if they correct me. Used to work with a guy named David. Called him Dave once and he said “Hey, respect my id” Thought that was kinda cute. Never called him Dave again! ---
**Author:** ![Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fool\_in\_the\_Rain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fool_in_the_Rain)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/39 "2014-03-26T16:35:49Z")
My father and I have the same first name (John), but he goes by Jack. For a time we both worked at the same place, the union called me Jack or Junior, and even officially filed my name as John XXXX Junior. I kept telling them it is not my name. I told them, over and over, this is absolutely wrong, I am not a junior, please fix this. I showed my license, my birth certificate…didn’t fix it for at least 2 years. Over 25 years later, thanks to these idiots, I still get some junk mail with the Jr. at the end. Somehow city hall had the Jr on my name, and demanded I pay taxes on a car my father had from years ago (he moved away 20 years ago). That was a battle to fix. It took me months to get the Jr. removed from my name on one of the credit reports. Yes, not being called what you want can be detrimental to you… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536/40 "2014-03-26T16:53:26Z")
I don’t get steamed about most name mistakes, but please, **please** don’t call me Nottsy. I have to draw the line somewhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-my-name-dammit/684536.md?page=3)