# Say something funny to help me feel better please **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435 "2001-09-24T01:59:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/1 "2001-09-24T01:59:39Z")
Okay. GO! ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/2 "2001-09-24T02:00:33Z")
Feeblegardler. How’s that? ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/3 "2001-09-24T02:03:32Z")
Wankle Rotary Engine ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/4 "2001-09-24T02:03:41Z")
Flezz! Sorry. I borrowed that from someone… either **SPOOFE** or **Jester** … um. I don’t remember who! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/5 "2001-09-24T02:05:17Z")
Hey, you’ve got a spot on your shirt. ::: **talkingsquirrel** looks down, **Persephone** flips his nose::: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/6 "2001-09-24T02:05:47Z")
_SOMETHING!_ -ducks and runs- ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/7 "2001-09-24T02:11:20Z")
Wankle Rotary Engine! Lol That just made me laugh! Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/8 "2001-09-24T02:27:13Z")
Awwww… are we bored and sad? 1. Start by taking the [Gorilla Personality Test](http://www.discovery.com/area/nature/gorillas/gorillas.html). 2. Next, vote in the _Weekly World News_ [online poll](http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/wwn/poll.cfm?surveyid=15036): Who Do You Think is Responsible for the Attacks on America? 3. Then, read how [country music will lower your kid’s IQ](http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/news/index.cfm?instanceid=15468). 4. Browse the [McDonald’s Home Page](http://www.mcdonalds.com/index.html) and look up cities and countries to see if they have a McDonald’s there. 5. And finally, spend the rest of the evening with the [Naked Scottish Weathergirls](http://www.bogwomen.com/Newgl/glmain.asp). Hope this helps. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pessor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pessor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pessor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/9 "2001-09-24T02:42:50Z")
I’m emailing you a photo of my dog… he is smiling for you (this is because he beat my wife to the top of Mt. Toby). Tomorrow’s homework for Pessor: Learn to post photos and do links on the Straight Dope! ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/10 "2001-09-24T02:48:11Z")
_huge hug_ Somebody loves you. [sub][sup] I have nothing funny to say, but you seemed sad. Me sowy. Please feel better. [/sub] [/sup] ---
**Author:** ![NerdBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@NerdBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NerdBoy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/11 "2001-09-24T02:51:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*Awwww… are we bored and sad? > > 1. Start by taking the [Gorilla Personality Test](http://www.discovery.com/area/nature/gorillas/gorillas.html). > > 2. Next, vote in the _Weekly World News_ [online poll](http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/wwn/poll.cfm?surveyid=15036): Who Do You Think is Responsible for the Attacks on America? > > 3. Then, read how [country music will lower your kid’s IQ](http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/news/index.cfm?instanceid=15468). > > 4. Browse the [McDonald’s Home Page](http://www.mcdonalds.com/index.html) and look up cities and countries to see if they have a McDonald’s there. > > 5. And finally, spend the rest of the evening with the [Naked Scottish Weathergirls](http://www.bogwomen.com/Newgl/glmain.asp). > > Hope this helps. 😃 \*\* Thank you. 🙂 I now have something to do tomorrow at work. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/12 "2001-09-24T02:58:37Z")
Go dig up one of Scylla’s old threads. ---
**Author:** ![Mersavets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aca169/32.png) [@Mersavets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mersavets)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/13 "2001-09-24T03:06:31Z")
Two elephants fall out of a tree. BOOM BOOM! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nonny\_Mouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5e9695/32.png) [@Nonny\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonny_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/14 "2001-09-24T03:09:45Z")
_What was the impotent rapist charged with?_ **Assault with a dead weapon.** Nonny ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/15 "2001-09-24T03:10:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pessor \* > \*\*I’m emailing you a photo of my dog… he is smiling for you (this is because he beat my wife to the top of Mt. Toby). > > Tomorrow’s homework for Pessor: > > Learn to post photos and do links on the Straight Dope! \*\* Lol thats a cute doggie =) Thanks everyone I got some apple pie my aunt sent me anyone want a slice? ---
**Author:** ![gypsy\_gurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@gypsy\_gurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gypsy_gurl)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/16 "2001-09-24T03:44:11Z")
so…two penguins are taking a bath, one turns to the other and says “hey, could ya hand me the soap???” the other one turns to him and says, “what do i look like, a TYPEWRITER???” :Dhehehe i love that joke…now if only i could figure out why… ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/17 "2001-09-24T03:48:10Z")
I dun get it 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/18 "2001-09-24T03:55:11Z")
Machines were mice and men were lions, once upon a time, but now that it’s the opposite, it’s twice upon a time. ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/19 "2001-09-24T04:27:58Z")
Ooo, An excuse to tell one of my favorite bad jokes: Two Jews get of a streetcar and one says to another, "So - Wait, why does it have to be another joke about the Jews? Ok. Two Baptists get off a streetcar and one says to another, "So, what did - Hey, whats with picking on the religious people? Ok,Ok. Two Texans step off a streetcar and one says to the other, "So what did you - Please, could you stop with the stereotyped jokes? Um, sure. Two horses step off a streetcar and one says to the other, “So what did you do over Rosh Hashanah?” Still depressed? I’ve got more 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435/20 "2001-09-24T04:35:39Z")
this duck walks into the pharmacy. he selects a tube of chapstick. the cashier says, that will be a dollar thirty nine please. the duck says, can you put it on my bill? that joke slays me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-something-funny-to-help-me-feel-better-please/83435.md?page=2)