# Say, Una Persson, a note on how vBulletin works (search engine nonsense from ATMB) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617 "2007-04-03T21:11:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/1 "2007-04-03T21:11:26Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever pitted anyone before, so this will be pretty mild. Actually, I don’t know if it’s really a pitting, but I found it funny that she (sorry if I’m assuming gender wrong) got on to someone about a technical issue when the person was, well, 100% right. From here: > **[Someone please install search engine software on the SDMB!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414766)** > > I noticed that searches that an enormous amount of time to complete. Like 30 seconds to 1 minute. My guess is that each time I send a search request to the SDMB, the server actually looks through all the old messages. This seems like a waste of... **Chasing Dreams** makes a well meaning, if impractical suggestion about speeding up searches on the SDMB. It bounces around for a while, and on page 3 Chasing metioned the [Search Engine Friendly Archive](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/), one of the default features of vBulletin. [Polerius](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8423172&postcount=46) sees the description and says this: > [@](#): > > So, if I understand correctly, no special programming or hacking is required. Just set this feature to “yes” and run your favorite search engine on the archive. **Una Persson** is apparently mildly annoyed at his assumptions about how the system works. So she responds with: > [@](#): > > Good grief. You do know that the archive is not the same as the database, right? We haven’t been talking about the archive, we’ve been talking about the database. The whole point of the OP was the slow searches for the database. The archive has its own set of issues which people have been complaining about in this forum for quite some time, as threads have been getting moved into it from the database. Ok… As I read through this I had a few thoughts. After reading that the archive is not the same as the database, I thought “Ok, that’s technically true, kind of like the web page is not the same as the server. Let’s see where she’s going with this.” Of course, the last sentence proved she had no idea what she was talking about: “The archive has its own set of issues which people have been complaining about in this forum for quite some time, as threads have been getting moved into it from the database.” Una, you’ve been running a vBulletin messageboard for six years and you don’t know what the archive is for? The archive is merely a differently formatted display of the messageboard designed for search engines for easy indexing. It’s the exact same data that’s on the normal site. In fact, [here’s this very pitting of you](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-415122.html)! The oft maligned archive were posts are going to die a silent death is something that Jerry is doing - it’s not a function of vBulletin and it’s nothing that we can access. Polerius was right (until he responded to your post, but still). You were wrong. Good grief indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/2 "2007-04-03T21:25:03Z")
You’re correct. I do know what the archive was for but I did not word my response very well, and I thought that people were talking about the other “archive” so I clearly misunderstood the post. I apologize to **Polerius** for both jumping on him unfairly and not explaining things properly myself. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/3 "2007-04-03T21:38:25Z")
Well shoot, that was easy. 😛 Thanks for the response. In my defense for a lame pitting, I would have responded in the ATMB thread, but it was closed (and there was still plenty to discuss, but that’s for another pit thread). ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/4 "2007-04-03T21:53:32Z")
[QUOTE=Slacker] Well shoot, that was easy. 😛 Thanks for the response. [/QUOTE] No one should ever be afraid to admit they were wrong, especially on the SDMB. I knew what I wanted to say but I failed to communicate intelligently, and as a result I treated **Polerius** unfairly. I was wrong, and I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/5 "2007-04-03T21:59:45Z")
Well that was far from entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/6 "2007-04-03T22:14:38Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] Well that was far from entertaining. [/QUOTE] I know! And all this time, I’ve been thinking: why don’t posters just 'fess up when they’re wrong? Or, why don’t posters change their mind when confronted with overwhelming evidence to the contrary of their line of arguments? And now I know why. Because, while it may be refreshing, fireworks it ain’t. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/7 "2007-04-03T22:38:02Z")
[QUOTE=Doctor Who] fireworks it ain’t. [/QUOTE] Yes, it **IS** and I’ll fight **to the DEATH** anyone who says it isn’t! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: You fucking bastard asshole jerk! DAMN YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/8 "2007-04-03T22:43:34Z")
Did anyone else here find **Tuba** ’s mention of “Fist City” strangely arousing? No? Oh, well, umm, neither did I. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/9 "2007-04-03T22:48:48Z")
You could always retract your apology, go on ranting for two pages and then apologize again. Think of the entertainment! ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/10 "2007-04-03T22:55:03Z")
Is there any way we can blame this on **tomndebb**? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/11 "2007-04-03T23:23:33Z")
[QUOTE=Punoqllads] Is there any way we can blame this on **tomndebb**? [/QUOTE] He’s been getting his number called an awful lot lately. Does the SDMB have a Jim Kiick-style backup for him? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/12 "2007-04-03T23:28:39Z")
[QUOTE=Punoqllads] Is there any way we can blame this on **tomndebb**? [/QUOTE] The bastard started this trend of being infuriatingly reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/13 "2007-04-04T00:37:15Z")
[QUOTE=BayleDomon] The bastard started this trend of being infuriatingly reasonable. [/QUOTE] Fist him! ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/14 "2007-04-04T00:57:23Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Fist him! [/QUOTE] Haha. Now I’m always going to picture you like [this.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisto) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/15 "2007-04-04T01:01:53Z")
[QUOTE=Punoqllads] Is there any way we can blame this on **tomndebb**? [/QUOTE] You sir, are a genius. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/16 "2007-04-04T01:10:25Z")
Lamest nerd fight ever ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/17 "2007-04-04T01:29:51Z")
I apologize again. It was my first time, I was tired, and various other excuses to be edited in later. Fear not, however. I’ve contracted **Oakminster** to help me make my next pit thread much better. 😃 So, while we’re here, anyone have any questions about vBulletin? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/18 "2007-04-04T01:31:00Z")
[QUOTE=Slacker] So, while we’re here, anyone have any questions about vBulletin? 😛 [/QUOTE] Will it give me a harder erection? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/19 "2007-04-04T01:32:26Z")
[QUOTE=Slacker] I’ve contracted **Oakminster** to help me make my next pit thread much better. 😃 [/QUOTE] there’s an ointment you can use for that. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617/20 "2007-04-04T04:01:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mbossa] Did anyone else here find **Tuba** ’s mention of “Fist City” strangely arousing? No? Oh, well, umm, neither did I. [/QUOTE] It’s a Loretta Lynn song, ya perv. And I guess a uniquely Southern reference. I got more if you’re interested. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-una-persson-a-note-on-how-vbulletin-works-search-engine-nonsense-from-atmb/398617.md?page=2)