# Say you find a condom... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774 "2005-07-23T05:28:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/21 "2005-07-23T18:28:54Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Ladies, please tell me if I overreacted here - When a guy I was dating many years ago & I decided to ‘get physical’ for the first time, I saw he took a condom out of an opened box. Said box was left over from his previous relationship and though old was unexpired. I declined our physicality until we started our own box and this box was thrown away. I remember feeling very strongly about this at the time, like condoms aren’t just a grocery item one stocks in their home but rather has in mind for someone in particular. Unwarranted or understood? Guy here. I wouldn’t personally view a condom as somewhere in the range of say a gift. That is, if I bought a really nice lawn mower ( 😛 ) for my girlfriend, but before I could give it to her we broke up, and then a year later had a new girlfriend–well then yeah, giving her the lawn mower would be wrong. Condoms, on the other hand, are more in the asprin and band-aids category. Certainly they only have one purpose–but if I’ve already got them and they still work, well fish it out from the medicine cabinet. If I was having sex with you (howdy), I would consider the closeness as being what is important. The condom, on the other hand, is just a way of flipping off mother nature for creating humanity in a way that we can’t be close and prudent at the same time without an annoying bit of rubber. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/22 "2005-07-23T18:29:59Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Say you find a condom on the counter where your SO has emptied his pockets. > You know that together, you’ve not used a condom in a good year. What is your initial reaction? I’ve _insisted_ on my partners having condoms available at all times. So, there wouldn’t be anything I could complain about… ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/23 "2005-07-23T18:47:22Z")
> [@Sage Rat](#): > > Guy here. > I wouldn’t personally view a condom as somewhere in the range of say a gift. That is, if I bought a really nice lawn mower ( 😛 ) for my girlfriend, but before I could give it to her we broke up, and then a year later had a new girlfriend–well then yeah, giving her the lawn mower would be wrong. > Condoms, on the other hand, are more in the asprin and band-aids category. Certainly they only have one purpose–but if I’ve already got them and they still work, well fish it out from the medicine cabinet. If I was having sex with you (howdy), I would consider the closeness as being what is important. The condom, on the other hand, is just a way of flipping off mother nature for creating humanity in a way that we can’t be close and prudent at the same time without an annoying bit of rubber. Agreed. Condoms are in the band-aids catagory. Besides, they can get pretty damn expensive.\* \*I just typed expenisive. I believe penis just ensued. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/24 "2005-07-23T18:54:39Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Say you find a condom on the counter where your SO has emptied his pockets. > You know that together, you’ve not used a condom in a good year. What is your initial reaction? “Damnit! Give up already! You ARE NOT getting anal. Jesus.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/25 "2005-07-23T19:00:25Z")
> [@Sage Rat](#): > > Certainly they only have one purpose–but if I’ve already got them and they still work, well fish it out from the medicine cabinet. If I was having sex with you (howdy) I would hope that you would at least tell me we _were_ having sex, so I could put my book down and pay attention. 😃 And they’re not that expensive, especially when you get the \*\*Big Box \*\* from Costco! Bad pun not intended, but as a grocery item, they’re loaded w/ meaning, unlike Band-aids. Food’s just food, but would you eat a meal cooked for someone else and then given to you instead by your GF? (We’re stretching the limits of reason here, as meals don’t last for months, but I’m sticking w/ my analogy nonetheless.) ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/26 "2005-07-23T19:00:48Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > I remember feeling very strongly about this at the time, like condoms aren’t just a grocery item one stocks in their home but rather has in mind for someone in particular. Unwarranted or understood? Such an idea never crossed my mind. I’ve in permanence condoms stocked at home and despite not exactly having currently a very active sex life it will always be opened because I also always have some in my wallet, and I need to replace them from time to time, lets they would be damaged. Seems like basic “in case of” precaution to me. So, would you have dated me, I would have pulled condoms from an opened box, even if I hadn’t have sex for the last two years. And actually, if I had have sex the week before with another woman I would still have pulled the condoms from the same box without a second thought. I never considered condoms or boxes of condoms like something personnal. I would consider throwing away all my sheets and my mattress (I wouldn’t actually, but you see what I mean) because a previous partner slept in/on them before it would cross my mind not to use a previously opened box of condoms. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/27 "2005-07-23T19:07:40Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Food’s just food, but would you eat a meal cooked for someone else and then given to you instead by your GF? (We’re stretching the limits of reason here, as meals don’t last for months, but I’m sticking w/ my analogy nonetheless.) The genral idea, I thnk, is precisely that we’re not talking about food cooked _for someone else_ but about frozen dishes in the fridge or wine bottles in the cellar that weren’t intended for anybody in particular. Or like another poster put it, would you refuse to take an aspirin on the basis that I happened to have originally bought the box because my former girlfriend got a headache? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/28 "2005-07-23T19:20:12Z")
It’s just a box of condoms. Buy a new box. Whatever. I wouldn’t mind if I had a new partner and she had an opened box. On the other hand, if my new partner wanted to start off fresh with a new box, I would be considerate enough to do it and not even begin to try to argue the logic. I’ve done sillier things for my wife. Haj ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/29 "2005-07-23T19:38:05Z")
Some bars have condoms galore in giant brand sniffers, next to the one’s with matchbooks. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/30 "2005-07-23T20:07:53Z")
Yes, I expected the overall male opinion to be ‘_shrug_ No big deal’, but I’d be interested to hear what your SO’s think, gentlemen. And to the poster who said he’d use the same box whether it was a week or a year (I’m paraphrasing), if it had only been a week since you were having sex w/ someone else, and I _knew_ it…the box of condoms would never enter the equation. I’d figure you were still emotionally attached to that person and not ready to date, etc. Feel free to consider me a ginormous prude. And aspirin doesn’t have the same connotation condoms have. They don’t say, “I intend to share an intimate moment w/ someone important”. (Unless you’re doing something w/ aspirin of which I am entirely unaware, and then kudos to you for originality my friend!) ---
**Author:** ![Ink\_a\_dink\_a\_dink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ec9cab/32.png) [@Ink\_a\_dink\_a\_dink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ink_a_dink_a_dink)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/31 "2005-07-23T20:22:42Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I wonder if there is a market for expired condoms Please don’t ask why I know this. There is. People use them on toys to keep them clean - like silicone toys that can tend to be ruined by some forms of lubricants, etc. Inky ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/32 "2005-07-23T20:32:05Z")
> [@Waverly](#): > > All this shows is that the box predates his purchase of the truck. It still doesn’t preclude the possibility that he bought them well before the truck, and then put them under the seat after its purchase. It sounds like the kind of explanation you might _want_ to believe, but it certainly isn’t the only explanation. It shows that the condoms were purchased a long time before the purchase of the truck, and expired before the truck was purchased. So the fella would have had to say, “I’m going to cheat on my SO in this truck. I’ll put these condoms in here that are no good anymore, because…” I don’t know how to end that sentence. > [@](#): > > I am not the jealous sort, but I would have paid someone to fingerprint the inside of the box, because my BS detector would have been ringing like a mutherfuck. If your paying someone to fingerprint anything of yourS O’s, you are the jealous sort. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/33 "2005-07-23T20:36:02Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Yes, I expected the overall male opinion to be ‘_shrug_ No big deal’, but I’d be interested to hear what your SO’s think, gentlemen… > > …And aspirin doesn’t have the same connotation condoms have. They don’t say, “I intend to share an intimate moment w/ someone important”. (Unless you’re doing something w/ aspirin of which I am entirely unaware, and then kudos to you for originality my friend!) Well I just asked my SO and she shrugged and said no big deal. In fact she said at least that way she would know I had been practicing safe sex! If you use a diaphragm do you get a new one if you have a new boyfriend? I am curious though–where do YOU draw the line? New bed? New sheets on the bed? I mean if I was in a previous relationship–likely I would have slept with that person on that bed! Being a guy–you are taking your chances that I have changed the sheets 🙂 From my viewpoint–when I did use condoms I always took them out of the box and had them loose in the drawer. Who wants to be fumbling opening a box AND the \*#&#@ condom in the heat of the moment! One thing at a time dammit! So you would not have known if there were from an unopened box! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/34 "2005-07-23T20:36:10Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Yes, I expected the overall male opinion to be ‘_shrug_ No big deal’, but I’d be interested to hear what your SO’s think, gentlemen. > > And to the poster who said he’d use the same box whether it was a week or a year (I’m paraphrasing), if it had only been a week since you were having sex w/ someone else, and I _knew_ it…the box of condoms would never enter the equation. I’d figure you were still emotionally attached to that person and not ready to date, etc. Feel free to consider me a ginormous prude. > > And aspirin doesn’t have the same connotation condoms have. They don’t say, “I intend to share an intimate moment w/ someone important”. (Unless you’re doing something w/ aspirin of which I am entirely unaware, and then kudos to you for originality my friend!) Female chiming in - I never got rid of extra condoms I used with a partner. Why would I? I’ve never been surprised or offended that anyone I’ve slept with, whether in a casual relationship or a more serious one, already had an opened box of condoms. No matter how emotionally attached I was to the guy, I really didn’t have that kind of attachement to the condoms. Frankly, I’d rather he have an open box than none at all. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/35 "2005-07-23T20:41:54Z")
> [@Ink a dink a dink](#): > > Please don’t ask why I know this. There is. People use them on toys to keep them clean - like silicone toys that can tend to be ruined by some forms of lubricants, etc. > > Inky gulp, ruined how? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/36 "2005-07-23T20:49:57Z")
> [@Portia](#): > > Ladies, please tell me if I overreacted here - When a guy I was dating many years ago & I decided to ‘get physical’ for the first time, I saw he took a condom out of an opened box. Said box was left over from his previous relationship and though old was unexpired. I declined our physicality until we started our own box and this box was thrown away. I remember feeling very strongly about this at the time, like condoms aren’t just a grocery item one stocks in their home but rather has in mind for someone in particular. Unwarranted or understood? :smack: Boy is this a [Kobayashi Maru senario](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru) for the guy. He has condoms on hand He looses because they weren’t bought just for you. He doesn’t get laid He doesn’t have condoms on hand. He loses no glove no love He buys a fresh box. What makes you think I am going to sleep with you. Jeez, did you insist on a new bed and new sheets also? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/37 "2005-07-23T20:56:32Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > If your paying someone to fingerprint anything of yourS O’s, you are the jealous sort. Nah, lying is more of a hot button for me, which is what would drive me to get to the bottom of it. Having gone through dry spells myself, I’ve had condoms expire on me before I could use up the box [anyone care to admit the same? show of hands]. I kept them around anyway, thinking that latex lasts a bit longer than the date would imply, and the expiration date was mostly of a gimmick to make me buy more. So… if I were the type of person who cheated, I wouldn’t hesitate to put my expired condoms in my used cheater-mobile before heading on over to the In-N-Out for a burger and lovely to do the old In-N-Out with. Expired condoms are no alibi, unless you are a terribly wishful thinker. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/38 "2005-07-23T21:01:04Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > “Damnit! Give up already! You ARE NOT getting anal. Jesus.” Well, not from _you_ anyway. I originally read this with that second to last period as a comma… fairly disturbing stuff! ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/39 "2005-07-23T21:13:51Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > :smack: Boy is this a [Kobayashi Maru senario](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru) for the guy. > He has condoms on hand He looses because they weren’t bought just for you. He doesn’t get laid > He doesn’t have condoms on hand. He loses no glove no love > He buys a fresh box. What makes you think I am going to sleep with you. > Jeez, did you insist on a new bed and new sheets also? Didn’t read the scenario, I immediately assumed it’s along the lines of ‘damned if you, damned if you don’t’. He didn’t ‘lose’ anything, sex not being a commodity in polite circles. We both had to wait all of a few hours, which in fact underscored the lack of forethought we’d put into the ‘physical’ decision in the first place and prompted a very important and revealing discussion. You do acknowledge that some forethought should occur when people are deciding to do something that may, like it or not, bind them together for life? You do agree that people should decide before participating in a process that very often results in pregnancy what the disposition of said possible pregnancy should be? Or is the only thing you ask, “You’re on the pill, right?”, in that hopeful tone? As for the sheets/bed, thanks for the useless hyperbole, it comes in handy when one is attempting make fun of something someone else finds important. I _don’t_ think you’re going to sleep w/ me. I’m really quite sure you won’t. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774/40 "2005-07-23T21:14:55Z")
> [@Waverly](#): > > I originally read this with that second to last period as a comma… fairly disturbing stuff! So did I! :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/say-you-find-a-condom/313774.md?page=3)