# Saying Hot Chick = Being A Misogynist Asshole **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2018, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925 "2018-09-07T04:12:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/81 "2018-09-07T11:14:02Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > The world has gone mad. No, just you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/82 "2018-09-07T11:47:57Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > So if two guys see a nice looking women, and one utters to the other, “Hey, check out that hot chick,” it is considered misogynistic? :dubious: > > I wish I had a nickel every time I heard one of my daughters say, “He’s such a hot guy.” > > The world has gone mad. How I reminisce about the pre-PC era… ☹ Nobody is trying to forbid anyone to comment on the attractiveness of anybody. This thread is a comment on a ATMB tread about a mod note (comment) saying this: > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/79): > > Stay focused, gentlemen. The usual suspects (and some new ones) where falling over each other to proclaim their outrage over this assault on their first amendment right to score someones tits in any context. Reasonable people objected. The debate derailed, thread was closed. Then this thread happened. Where everyone will happily keep shouting at straw men for days to come. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/83 "2018-09-07T12:04:35Z")
“Saying ‘hot chick’ = misogynist asshole” isn’t a reasonable way to sum up the issue. Context is important, and so the context in which someone is saying “hot chick” is important to the question of whether the person saying it is a misogynist asshole. But more important, there’s an important distinction between being concerned about whether some individual happens to be a misogynist asshole and whether we as a society care about it when it’s done in public. It has to do with the context that women as a group are systematically oppressed by a male dominant society, and the language of sexual objectification is one of the tools used to perpetuate that oppression, both to affirm dominance on the part of other men and as a psychological attack on women. That’s why there’s no societal equivalent of “hot chick” for a man. Because there’s no sexually objectifying term that helps maintain a system of oppression against men. It’s the same way that racially disparaging language is used to perpetuate white supremacy in society. That’s why the N-word has no equivalent for disparaging white people. Because white people can’t be disparaged in our society in the way that black people are. Anti-male and anti-white attitudes or language or bigotry or insults amount to defects of individual character. Anti-woman and anti-black attitudes or language or bigotry or insults are part of an organized system that oppress all women and black people. That’s an important difference. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/84 "2018-09-07T12:33:40Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > It has to do with the context that women as a group are systematically oppressed by a male dominant society In your opinion. Others, including my college-age daughters, disagree. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/85 "2018-09-07T12:37:59Z")
What part of dying alone and unloved is offensive? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/86 "2018-09-07T12:47:21Z")
Should I be going to all the women twitter users with names that contain “Hot Chick” and tell them to stop oppressing themselves? Is everyone talking about going up to a woman and saying “Damn, you’re a hot chick!” or are you talking about a group of people talking and one says “Then this hot chick walked in and…” or “Man, I think that Olivia Wilde is super hot!” or something else? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/87 "2018-09-07T12:56:34Z")
That there is systematic, societal discrimination in our society against women is not a matter of opinion. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/88 "2018-09-07T13:18:02Z")
> [@HeweyLogan](#): > > This is no way a thread on moderator actions/beliefs board related to a question in ABTMB. > > It is, but it isn’t. > > To women, what part of ‘Hot Chick’ is offensive, the hot part or chick? Neither – the part where you presume that you are in a position to judge her and that she should give a shit what you think. Kimstu was spot-on, with the comparison to a rich man being hassled about his wealth. If you legitimately are in a position where she cares what you think of her looks – she’s your wife, or she’s hitting you up on a dating site, “hot chick” is fine. (If it’s a dating site, you might want to make it clear you are interested in her beyond her hotness if you want her to reciprocate your interest, but just observing that she’s hot is okay.) But if she’s your waitress, or the woman ahead of you in line, or your co-worker, it’s offensive. Just as it would be okay if your friend saw you stopped in traffic in your new car, and rapped on the window to say, “hey. nice car”, but that would be creepy and/or threatening if a stranger did it. (and if strangers did it all the time, some completely clueless person would be asking, "what’s offensive about saying “nice car”, the “nice” part or the “car” part? > [@Kimstu](#): > > …Society doesn’t treat that sort of behavior as just “low-grade hassles” that are the inevitable “flip side to the benefits” of having money. We treat it as invasive and unacceptable deliberate assholery that nobody should have to put up with, no matter how wealthy they are. > > We likewise should treat the aggressive rudeness and baseless demands for attention that some men inflict on women as invasive and unacceptable deliberate assholery that nobody should have to put up with, no matter how beautiful they are… YUP!! > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > …Two: It’s hard to say who’s unhappier. The good-looking girl who gets attention, or the homely one who doesn’t. > > My money’s on the homely one. I’d bet a fair amount that if most women who are attractive enough to draw unwanted attention were to suddenly wake up homely and treated as if they were invisible, they’d give anything to go back to being pretty again… Your money is wrong. When I was an attractive young woman, I discovered I could avoid most of that attention by wearing baggy unflattering clothing, and by walking like a man. It was GREAT, let’s just say that was my personal style for many years. I am tall enough and butch enough to be able to carry off the “walk like a man” fairly easily. I don’t think all women find it a natural thing to do, though. By the way, no one wants to be “invisible”. Most of us want to be seen as a person, not an object, though. It’s possible that “invisible” is even worse than “object”, but that hardly makes it good to be an object. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/89 "2018-09-07T13:19:12Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Is everyone talking about going up to a woman and saying “Damn, you’re a hot chick!” or are you talking about a group of people talking and one says “Then this hot chick walked in and…” or “Man, I think that Olivia Wilde is super hot!” or something else? 1. Is the context one in which your offering any opinion on the woman’s attractiveness at all is relevant and appropriate? 2. If the answer to (1) is “Yes”, is the phrase “hot chick” suitable for the circumstances in which you’re expressing that opinion? If the answer to either (1) or (2) is too hard for you to figure out, then maybe to be on the safe side you should avoid using the term in that situation. Of course, nobody’s actually preventing you from saying the words “hot chick” whenever you want, despite the moaning of several fragile snowflakes in this thread. But if your use of the term comes across as implying _“My opinion about a random woman’s hotness is always relevant and important to express, whatever the situation”_, then you shouldn’t be surprised that a lot of people are going to think you sound like a misogynist asshole. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/90 "2018-09-07T13:30:45Z")
Saw [this](https://www.sleuthsayers.org/2018/08/safety-womans-perspective.html) last week, seems to be apropos: > [@](#): > > What do women want? > We want to walk, move, sit, run, play frisbee, etc., in public and be left alone. > We want to get on with our day without having to pander to someone else’s ego. > We don’t want to have to smile, talk, laugh, or otherwise respond because of someone else’s demand. > We want to live our lives with the freedom from even the thought of harassment, assault, rape, and murder that men consider normal. I’m sure there are circumstances where women want random guys to think they’re hot. If they’re at a club, if they’re out on the dance floor, stuff like that. But in the grocery store, or walking down the street, or on the subway, or especially in their working and professional lives, not so much. But men insist on telling them things about their hotness, or lack of it, in those situations anyway. You’d think that, if nowhere else in this stupid fucking world, a _hearing to determine whether someone should be on the Supreme Court_ would be a place where women could get away from being evaluated on their bodies and their looks. OK, _some_ of us would think that. Hopefully _most of us here on the Dope_ would think that. But apparently a bit short of everybody here would think that. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/91 "2018-09-07T13:47:50Z")
If you call a woman a “hot chick” and she tells you not to (as I would) and you do it again, you are a rude, offensive person. If you say to me “Which part do you find offensive? The hot part or the chick part?” you will get a really carefully worded statement, starting with “Which part of Shut The Fuck Up do you not understanding, you disgusting CUNT?” ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/92 "2018-09-07T13:53:15Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > 1. Is the context one in which your offering any opinion on the woman’s attractiveness at all is relevant and appropriate? > > 2. If the answer to (1) is “Yes”, is the phrase “hot chick” suitable for the circumstances in which you’re expressing that opinion? > > If the answer to either (1) or (2) is too hard for you to figure out, then maybe to be on the safe side you should avoid using the term in that situation. > > Of course, nobody’s actually preventing you from saying the words “hot chick” whenever you want, despite the moaning of several fragile snowflakes in this thread. But if your use of the term comes across as implying _“My opinion about a random woman’s hotness is always relevant and important to express, whatever the situation”_, then you shouldn’t be surprised that a lot of people are going to think you sound like a misogynist asshole. Fair enough. Although I do fail to understand how an opinion on the attractiveness of a woman makes you misogynistic, but whatever. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/93 "2018-09-07T13:56:55Z")
There are a lot of men in this thread telling us what women want, which is apparently to be reduced to a “hot chick,” and ignoring what we women are saying we want . Nope, no misogyny here! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/94 "2018-09-07T14:04:52Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Fair enough. Although I do fail to understand how an opinion on the attractiveness of a woman makes you misogynistic, but whatever. _Having_ such an opinion doesn’t make you misogynistic. _Sharing_ that opinion with people - especially women - who’d rather not have your opinions about such things inflicted on them: _that’s_ misogynistic. Does that help? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/95 "2018-09-07T14:08:03Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Although I do fail to understand how an opinion on the attractiveness of a woman makes you misogynistic It doesn’t. What makes you look misogynistic (and notice that I didn’t claim it actually makes you a misogynist, just that it gives off a misogynistic vibe) is the complacent assumption that **any time you happen to have a thought in your head about any random woman’s hotness level it is appropriate for you to let it out your pie hole,** irrespective of what the woman’s hotness level has to do with the circumstances. I get that it can be difficult for men to grasp this because, as I said, our society tends to foster a very entrenched assumption on the part of men that their opinions on women’s appearance **are** always relevant and deserving of attention. But this is an assumption that should be questioned. ---
**Author:** ![slalexan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@slalexan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slalexan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/96 "2018-09-07T14:12:01Z")
I can’t put together enough words in a coherent manner right now to express how I feel about this thread but I can say that **Kimstu** , you are fighting the good fight. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/97 "2018-09-07T14:13:00Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > “Hot stud” is the comparable term for men. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Men like to be called that. Maybe by my partner, but I stIill don’t like being objectified. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/98 "2018-09-07T14:16:31Z")
I have plenty of opinions about the hotness of women I see at work, on the street, in the grocery store, wherever. I understand that they would generally prefer I keep my opinions on this subject to myself, so I do. It’s not particularly difficult. Now what we’re talking about in the example that the OP brings up isn’t sharing one’s opinion with the woman in question, but rather with third parties here on the Dope, where many of those third parties are women. The women here on the Dope, just like women _everyfuckingwhere_, routinely get bombarded in inappropriate situations with unsolicited opinions about their bodies, their looks, their hotness or notness. Opinions by male Dopers about the hotness of women in threads on completely unrelated topics just adds to that bombardment. Fellow guys, it really isn’t that difficult to keep such opinions to yourselves in threads like that. What do you say to giving it a try? ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/99 "2018-09-07T14:19:11Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > A straight woman would NEVER refer to another woman as being a hot chick, and the language used is the domain of males only. I’ve definitely heard at least one straight woman use “hot chick” to describe another woman. Maybe “NEVER” is a excessively categorical? Lots and lots of people in the world behaving in all sorts of ways. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/100 "2018-09-07T14:31:18Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > _Having_ such an opinion doesn’t make you misogynistic. > > _Sharing_ that opinion with people - especially women - who’d rather not have your opinions about such things inflicted on them: _that’s_ misogynistic. > > Does that help? Well me personally, I would think sharing your unasked for opinion on anything of a personal nature is moronic. I don’t need it broken up into groups. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925.md?page=6)