# Saying Hot Chick = Being A Misogynist Asshole **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2018, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925 "2018-09-07T04:12:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/161 "2018-09-07T19:12:55Z")
> [@HelenTroy](#): > > It’s not unique. > > Sincerely, > Attractive Woman Nearing My Invisible Years > > PS - Can. Not. Wait. Isn’t it nice that we gals have a man here to tell us what we’ve experienced and how we feel about it? ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/162 "2018-09-07T19:22:04Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Isn’t it nice that we gals have a man here to tell us what we’ve experienced and how we feel about it? He means well. He understands it’s hard work bearing children and doing housework while going about life barefoot. We don’t have time to figure out such difficult things as these. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/163 "2018-09-07T19:41:08Z")
as i posted in the locked thread i learned on how not do identify one based on looks in the 6t/7h grade : this reminds me of time I forgot the new teachers name and rm number in jr high and since I was late and in a hurry said "what room is the new teacher with the great boobs in " I thought I was talking to a few guys I sort of knew (as she had been the topic of discussion since the first day she appeared )……. the adult hall monitor that over heard me and was defiantly not amused ……… The teacher herself who knew I could be overly blunt when annoyed or flustered said " thanks for the compliment but id advise not repeating it out loud anymore " ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/164 "2018-09-07T20:01:59Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > He means well. He understands it’s hard work bearing children and doing housework while going about life barefoot. We don’t have time to figure out such difficult things as these. OMG will you _please_ stop worrying your pretty little heads about these weighty matters?? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/165 "2018-09-07T20:13:11Z")
> [@Huey\_Freeman](#): > > Not a woman, but I think I understand where they are coming from. White men, for example, often accuse people of color - specifically African-American men - of sexually preying on white women. In this fantasy, the white man styles himself as a defender of white maidenhood from unending hordes of virile black men. This fantasy allows white men to transform into a rifle-carrying Paladin from\* Diablo III\* where one pretends to be the holy defender of white maidenhood when white men, in fact, are the destroyers of white maidenhood; it is white - not black - men who lead the pack in rape, murder, and sexual assault against white women. White men - at least the American ones anyway - have no respect for their women. White men privately and publicly fat shame their women (This is insane, evil, cultural shit that white people do because where I come from I’ve never seen a homecoming queen or dated a woman \* under 150 lbs\*). White men viciously smear women about their looks and distribute or leak intimate photos on the Internet as if women were objects or trophies. While black folks encourage and celebrate black female educational achievement, white folks openly mock and conflate white female educational achievement with feminism, tribalism, and the destruction of the white familial unit. Because white women have been the greatest beneficiaries of Affirmative Action, white men want to tear it down under the eye-rolling excuse of “gender equality”. These self-entitled white men have banded together on the Internet to complain about not having sex of the women of their choice, to exchange tips on seducing women to extract a one-night stand, or to perpetuate hate and/or sexual, emotional, and physical violence against women. Further, white men can rape and sexually assault white women and get away with it or get very light sentences. And because white men - the same people who cured smallpox and created the first nuclear reactor - are unable to catalogue rape kits, there’s little insurance for white women to believe that their rape kit won’t be mishandled if it happens it to them. All in all, there are palpable reasons for white women - hell, all women - to be highly skeptical of comments a white man says in regards to relationships, sex, or intimacy. To directly answer your question, the phrase “Hot Chick” isn’t offensive in itself, but men’s words must be handled with a high degree skepticism especially in regards to sex or intimacy. White women are getting smarter and realize that, as a group, white men have been peddling nothing but projection, equivocation, and bullshit since Plymouth Rock. Y’know what, that was well reasoned and well said. Also a super excellent example of intersectionality in action. I’d put a golf clap smilie right here but there isn’t one. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/166 "2018-09-07T20:21:26Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > You people really are dumb if you’ve been reading all the comments and still don’t get it. How do you even dress yourselves? You have a boardful of women telling you this is demeaning and you’re still like, “Unhhh?” :rolleyes: > > Of course, it’s not about not understanding. Women and intelligent men know it’s about power and maintaining your sense of superiority. Why else would men like you fight so viciously for your supposed “right” to comment on a woman’s appearance? Despite being told countless times by women that it’s degrading, demeaning and dehumanizing? You mansplain and try to justify it from a million different angles trying to convince us it’s nothing. Well, it’s not nothing and your shit is no longer working. You and your fellow pustules on the ass of humanity are losing. Because there is a time and place for everything. I would say something like that in a nightclub or a strip club but not to some random woman in the supermarket. I have said something to that effect to women that are close personal friends including coworkers that I know really well. Many female coworkers have done the same to me. It is all complimentary and in good fun. Why can’t people understand the nuances involved? The real issue seems to be true sexual harassment and catcalling but only a small minority of men engage in that. Most people like being complimented on their appearance. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/167 "2018-09-07T20:27:26Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Because there is a time and place for everything. I would say something like that in a nightclub or a strip club but not to some random woman in the supermarket. I have said something to that effect to women that are close personal friends including coworkers that I know really well. Many female coworkers have done the same to me. It is all complimentary and in good fun. > > Why can’t people understand the nuances involved? The real issue seems to be true sexual harassment and catcalling but only a small minority of men engage in that. Most people like being complimented on their appearance. Ah, but the really important question is how do their fathers feel about it? Boyfriend? Husbands? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/168 "2018-09-07T22:05:38Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Ah, but the really important question is how do their fathers feel about it? Boyfriend? Husbands? I could ask my husband, but I’m pretty sure his word is only worth about 3/5ths of Starving Artist’s. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/169 "2018-09-07T23:13:51Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Of course, it’s not about not understanding. Women and intelligent men know it’s about power and maintaining your sense of superiority. It’s about not understanding for those of us with the social intelligence of a block of wood. I’ve been known to be sexually inappropriate, not because I want to subjugate women or don’t think they have a mind, but because sex is 90% of my personality. “What do you mean while you’re giving an astrophysics lecture isn’t the time for sex? We can do it between the lectern and the H-R diagram.” I try to suppress it and remember to be considerate as best I can. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/170 "2018-09-07T23:35:00Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > It’s about not understanding for those of us with the social intelligence of a block of wood. I’ve been known to be sexually inappropriate, not because I want to subjugate women or don’t think they have a mind, but because sex is 90% of my personality. “What do you mean while you’re giving an astrophysics lecture isn’t the time for sex? We can do it between the lectern and the H-R diagram.” _Distinguo_: The reason you **want** to be sexual in inappropriate circumstances is because you’re naturally a horndog, **and once again, nobody is saying there’s anything wrong with that**. But the reason you sometimes **express** your sexual impulses in inappropriate ways is largely because our traditionally sexist social mores reinforce the assumption that you should be able to get away with it. That the sexualized thoughts of men are intrinsically relevant and deserving of attention in any situation, and that their expression should be assumed by default to be “just a fact of life”. That’s the part that gets problematic. > [@coffeecat](#): > > I try to suppress it and remember to be considerate as best I can. Thanks! Half a cookie, coming right up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/171 "2018-09-07T23:47:19Z")
> [@wonky](#): > > I could ask my husband, but I’m pretty sure his word is only worth about 3/5ths of Starving Artist’s. I thought we fixed that. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/172 "2018-09-08T00:26:56Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > But the reason you sometimes **express** your sexual impulses in inappropriate ways is largely because our traditionally sexist social mores reinforce the assumption that you should be able to get away with it. That the sexualized thoughts of men are intrinsically relevant and deserving of attention in any situation, and that their expression should be assumed by default to be “just a fact of life”. No, I’m just somewhat inappropriate in general. 😃 Also, it’s natural, although not necessarily accurate, to judge others by what’s in your own heart, and the random, sexualized thoughts of women are always interesting to me. If a female construction worker shouted, “Hey, baby! I want to fuck you right now!” I’d be pleased with myself forever. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/173 "2018-09-08T01:01:05Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > The thing is, he’s about 70, if I recall correctly. So his much beloved 1950s is seen purely through the lens of childhood… Note to self: when promenading the boulevards of Brooklyn arm in arm with **Starving Artist** , be sure to call out “Say, sistah! Ya sure are a swell-lookin’ skoit!” at regular intervals until he explodes from embarrassment. Note (a): Wear a Zoot Suit. Note (b): Spin your pocket watch on its chain. ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/174 "2018-09-08T01:54:36Z")
> [@HeweyLogan](#): > > It wasn’t dismissive, demeaning, or anything of the sort. It was used to further a point the person was trying to make, ie what’s behind replacing her with Condi Rice (or vice versa)? Because it is IRRELEVANT to the topic. Here’s all the people at the swearing in… I wonder how big that bloke in the back’s dick is? I bet he’s hung. If he’s in proportion, I bet it’s enormous. I’d like to see him on the nudie beach. snigger snigger It is IRRELEVANT and it is demeaning to the person being OBJECTIFIED for absolutely no reason at all. Men can be plug ugly, short, wear ferrets on their head, be a weird colour with white rings around their eyes, be old, wrinkled, wear disgusting old-fashioned clothes and nobody comments constantly on their APPEARANCE or start commenting on it out of the blue when SOMETHING ELSE is being discussed. Here are all the senators after the vote as to whether we should get the blue widgets or the red widgets… It was a divided house, the issue hasn’t been put to rest… Geez, old bob is an ugly piece of shit. What the hell is he wearing? Why doesn’t he get a decent haircut? I bet his dick is tiny. snigger snigger snigger What does his arse look like in those trousers? He shouldn’t be let out of the house, he’s so unattractive. They should hide him up the back and but somebody better looking in his chair, I can’t stand looking at him. I repeat my original reply in this thread. CLUELESS. GITS. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/175 "2018-09-08T02:13:57Z")
Can someone please explain to me why some men just can’t seem to grasp the fact that this board is not their fucking “locker room/man cave/night out with the guys/drinking beer in the garage” whatever the fuck place?? Must they constantly assert their god and constitutionally guaranteed rights to be pigs when speaking about women? In a room full of them??? And then play victim when they get called on acting like rude, boorish assholes with no more manners than a crack-addled baboon? Good god - grow up, act your age, and stop letting every damn fool thought that jumps into your pointy little heads about women and their ability to get your dick interested fall out of your mouths like verbal turds in a punchbowl! What is wrong with you?? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/176 "2018-09-08T02:30:07Z")
> [@HeweyLogan](#): > > > [@AHunter3](#): > > > > Suppose you expressed an interesting thought, and people responded to it not in a way that acknowledged any part of what you had said, but which instead focused on who they thought you were, and that they made lewd or even semi-complimentary (for that matter) comments about you but ignored the content of what you said. Suppose they did that a whole lot. Suppose they did that not only to you but to everyone who shared a categorical characteristic with you… It wouldn’t take long before you resented it, right? > > Of course. And I’d be in agreement with anyone who argued that in the scenario you present it’s demeaning, dismissive, and inappropriate. No disagreement there at all. > > But what’s being discussed or was being said in another thread, the woman being called a ‘hot chick’ was doing nothing more than sitting in a crowd, said by someone making a point about their looks. It wasn’t dismissive, demeaning, or anything of the sort. It was used to further a point the person was trying to make, ie what’s behind replacing her with Condi Rice (or vice versa)? Women have been explaining, in plain English and with lots of repetition, since roughly 1968, that they are perpetually treated as “hot chick on display” while their opinions, perspectives, suggestions, input on planning, etc etc etc, are ignored. Part of being treated like “hot chick” involves being referred to as “hot chick”. Against that backdrop, to toss the phrase out there when the referenced person is not in a pickup bar or otherwise trying to get some action kindled, etc, could be experienced as provocatively annoying. You can see that, right? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/177 "2018-09-08T02:44:53Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > No, I’m just somewhat inappropriate in general. 😃 Also, it’s natural, although not necessarily accurate, to judge others by what’s in your own heart, and the random, sexualized thoughts of women are always interesting to me. If a female construction worker shouted, “Hey, baby! I want to fuck you right now!” I’d be pleased with myself forever. This is part of the issue, I think. What follows is not directed at you. You just happen to be the person that brought it up. Men judge this issue in large part by how it would impact them. It’s not the same thing in any respect. Men think it would be cool to hear women judging them like a piece of meat walking by and yelling out their approval. It’s not. I have been hearing “wanna fuck”, and much worse, since I was 8 or 9(?) Too young to really understand what it meant. It holds no appeal by virtue of its novelty. The cat-calling is accompanied often enough by physical gestures, in case I missed the point, that I feel disgusted when I hear it. To top that off, a significant portion of those men bump it up a level by egging each other on, so it turns into a group activity, points for volume and creativity! Or it crosses into the scary, because the guy starts trying to talk to you. Maybe they start following you, or they keep trying to get your number and then they yell at you because you’re a “cold bitch”. Their friends help out with that too. Maybe you can role play with some trusted friends. In the real world, it’s not so fun. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/178 "2018-09-08T03:58:09Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Note to self: when promenading the boulevards of Brooklyn arm in arm with **Starving Artist** , be sure to call out “Say, sistah! Ya sure are a swell-lookin’ skoit!” at regular intervals until he explodes from embarrassment. > > Note (a): Wear a Zoot Suit. > > Note (b): Spin your pocket watch on its chain. Note (c): wait til Bee Gee is in town with her camera to document this. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/179 "2018-09-08T07:34:15Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Can someone please explain to me why some men just can’t seem to grasp the fact that this board is not their fucking “locker room/man cave/night out with the guys/drinking beer in the garage” whatever the fuck place?? > > Must they constantly assert their god and constitutionally guaranteed rights to be pigs when speaking about women? In a room full of them??? And then play victim when they get called on acting like rude, boorish assholes with no more manners than a crack-addled baboon? > > Good god - grow up, act your age, and stop letting every damn fool thought that jumps into your pointy little heads about women and their ability to get your dick interested fall out of your mouths like verbal turds in a punchbowl! What is wrong with you?? Perhaps a significant part of the problem is that women nowadays talk like you do here? I’m sure it rarely occurs to men to be sensitive to your high-minded feminine perspective when words like “dick,” “fuck,” “turd,” and “asshole” are spewing from your mouths like water from a fountain. Perhaps a quote I happened upon recently would be of help: _“The more you act like a lady, the more he’ll act like a gentleman.”_ Basically what you are asking is the that the men of the board behave like gentlemen and to be sensitive to your feminine perspective as women, while at the same time you’re comporting yourselves like truck drivers or longshoremen. I asked early in the thread just what it is that women (of the type to complain about these things) want. If you want to be treated no differently than men, this is what you get. If you want special treatment based upon your sex then say so, and drop the pissy attitude toward men when they attempt to treat you differently. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2018, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925/180 "2018-09-08T07:53:30Z")
It’s not a woman’s job to 'act like a lady" to make you act like a gentlemen. That’s on you. I ain’t here to fix you. Fix your fucking self. If you cannot, stay home and shut up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-hot-chick-being-a-misogynist-asshole/820925.md?page=10)