# Saying "you do you" in unique or disturbing ways **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2024, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830 "2024-04-04T19:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/1 "2024-04-04T19:08:58Z")
Earlier today I was commenting how I’m not much into stereotypical “girly” stuff like shoe shopping and make-up and such. Thinking back on it. my brain went off on a tangent of ways to express “each to his/her own.” It became a somewhat disturbing tangent. I came up with: _If you want to wear a My Little Pony onesie while eating peanut butter from the jar as you fantasize about the My Pillow Guy…_ Then it occurred to me that there are some pretty creative and slightly off-kilter posters here on the SDMB. The gauntlet is cast! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/2 "2024-04-04T19:17:31Z")
Some one starts a thing with me I often say, “Who cut your hair?” With my own particular brand of a sweet southern drawl and maybe even a touch to the end of their hair. And smile. Stops 'em cold. 😏 ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/3 "2024-04-04T19:26:41Z")
Tangent: the phrase “you do you” is like “bless your heart” in the south, it is never used in any but a condescending and negative way. I hate it. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/4 "2024-04-04T19:32:16Z")
Interesting - I always took it to mean that while I might not agree with your approach or outlook, it’s no big deal that we’re different. Am I that far out of the loop? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/5 "2024-04-04T19:36:53Z")
That’s what it means on the surface, but I can only recall one instance, between two children in a commercial, where it was used that way. Especially here it seems to be used in the format “You seem to like fornicating with animals, but you do you.” As with all such observations, confirmation bias may be at play. I don’t think I have ever had it used against me, so I don’t feel it personally. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/6 "2024-04-04T19:49:14Z")
Someone here used it toward me at one point, and the effect was definitely one of an eyeroll/condescension. Like, “Why in the world would you do THAT?” I may have misinterpreted it. But I don’t think so. I still remember it as unnecessary and a little obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/7 "2024-04-04T19:52:11Z")
> [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](#): > > unnecessary and a little obnoxious. My sentiments exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/8 "2024-04-04T19:53:49Z")
My kids say it all the time. I don’t think of it as all that condescending. Maybe a little terse. The Lil’wrekker won’t let me ‘me do me’ She definitely has opinions about how I look before leaving the house. And says so. _You do you_ would be a pleasant diversion, to me. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/9 "2024-04-04T19:55:29Z")
Well, shucks, here I thought this could be a fun thread idea, but being tragically unhip, I had no idea what I was talking about. 🙁 ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/10 "2024-04-04T19:58:44Z")
Sorry! Did not intend to rain on your parade. It’s not my favorite expression, but go ahead and use it if you want (you are, after all, nice, dammit, and would not insult your imaginary friends). In other words, to quote a phrase, “You do…” Oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/11 "2024-04-04T20:00:44Z")
My feelings aren’t hurt. These aren’t tears. I’m fine. No biggie… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/12 "2024-04-04T20:01:21Z")
I can see it being fun to say to an idiot customer service person who can’t/won’t help. Or a dumb person in line having a fit because the line is slow because you’re counting out correct change instead of tap to pay option. But I never confront people like this. But…you do you. I would get a giggle if I saw it happening. That would entertain my boring day. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/13 "2024-04-04T20:06:08Z")
I consider the expression very condescending and, even if it weren’t, irritating. It comes across as if you are giving me permission as to how to behave. mmm ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/14 "2024-04-04T20:09:48Z")
One essence of that little phrase is that at its most kind, it’s still quite dismissive. There’s a hint of "you could easily be better, but I guess if you want to continue to be inferior or misguided or defective, by all means go ahead " ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/15 "2024-04-04T20:20:20Z")
Come to think of it, it’s been said to me in other ways to me. On this board. I’ve gotten “Just keep being you, beck” “Keep on Beckin’” “Never change, beck” Even a “Beck lives matter” once. I never took it as condescending, at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/16 "2024-04-04T20:23:34Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Tangent: the phrase “you do you” is like “bless your heart” in the south, it is never used in any but a condescending and negative way. I hate it. I get the impression that, in the South, everything everyone ever says is condescending and negative. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/17 "2024-04-04T20:36:11Z")
Nahhh. Like our esteemed OP, “were nice dammit” My good manners and raisin’ wouldn’t allow me to abuse you of your very valid feelings on it. Would you like a piece of pie?😊 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/18 "2024-04-04T20:50:24Z")
A lot of people use “you do you” and the common variations dismissively at best, derisively at worst. But it doesn’t have to be that way. One of my faves, and introduced to me by another Doper is “Let your freak flag fly.” Which implies acceptance for the other person’s odd choices that you yourself might not embrace. Or at least, it echoes the famous sentiment > [@Voltaire](#): > > I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/19 "2024-04-04T21:11:34Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > That’s what it means on the surface, but I can only recall one instance, between two children in a commercial, where it was used that way. I’m pretty sure I’ve used it that way, and on these boards. Maybe I ought to quit doing that. Has anybody got any objections to “people vary”? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2024, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830/20 "2024-04-04T21:36:15Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I’m pretty sure I’ve used it that way, and on these boards. > > Maybe I ought to quit doing that. Please don’t change your behavior on account of my remarks. I cannot recall reading this expression from you, but if you used it sincerely I feel sure that sincerity came across. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/saying-you-do-you-in-unique-or-disturbing-ways/999830.md?page=2)