# Scariest sitcom family to live with? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560 "2010-09-04T00:52:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/1 "2010-09-04T00:52:13Z")
I’ve been watching old eps of 7th Heaven, and I think I’ve got to go with the Camden family. Older brother Matt obsesses over the sex lives of his younger sisters, Mary wants her brother to show her the ins and outs of kissing in the pilot, the family patriarch Eric’s proudest moment is when his daughter Lucy asks him to buy her tampons, and Annie Camden is the most frightening fictional mother since Carrie’s mom coined the phrase “dirty pillows.” The Full House family is an obvious choice, I grant you. But Uncle Jesse was such eye candy that he makes up for those horrifying sad moment violins. What do you guys think? ---
**Author:** ![Erasmus\_Darwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@Erasmus\_Darwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erasmus_Darwin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/2 "2010-09-04T00:58:38Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’ve been watching old eps of 7th Heaven, and I think I’ve got to go with the Camden family. Don’t forget the twins, Sam and David. David Berkowitz was the Son of Sam serial killer. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign that they’ll grow up to be monsters. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/3 "2010-09-04T01:03:36Z")
Frankly, living with the Camden’s would be fantastic. You can bang all the daughters, and no one really cares (except Matt). Lucy (the crazy blonde who becomes a preacher) is really the only one that has psycho potential. The Conners (Roseanne), on the other hand, would be terrifying to live with. Any given night could culminate in either Dan or Roseanne sneaking into your room to perform a practical joke beyond imagination, let alone the possibility of their in-laws coming to visit. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/4 "2010-09-04T01:03:55Z")
When your Dad [builds you a little sister](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_Wonder_%28TV_series%29), that’s scary. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/5 "2010-09-04T01:04:30Z")
_Married with Children_. It’s a miracle the kids didn’t starve to death; although cousin Seven disappeared while in their care and was never even missed. (My idea for a final episode was for Al to murder the rest of the family with an ax and be acquitted by a jury of twelve shoe salesmen, so that may be coloring my judgment somewhat.) ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/6 "2010-09-04T01:06:37Z")
Definitely the Full House family. A toddler with a constant creepy look in her eyes, as if someone was watching her and telling her what to say, a slightly older one that screams “HOOOOOOOOOW ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD” at every opportunity, that other kid that looks about 30, the weird big man who does all different voices, a father so boring he may as well be a ghost, John Stamos’ mullet, and that poster of Janet Jackson with the frightening perm. Edit: Oh sweet Jesus I forgot KIMMY GIBBLER!!! AAAAAHHH! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/7 "2010-09-04T01:07:32Z")
> [@Erasmus\_Darwin](#): > > Don’t forget the twins, Sam and David. David Berkowitz was the Son of Sam serial killer. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign that they’ll grow up to be monsters. Oh, god. Even without the weird name thing, those two were so creepy. **Munch** , what about Annie Camden? Hell hath no fury like [Annie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geqQZUPMFQA). Though Pastor Eric had his moments. His freak out over finding a single marijuana joint in the house is epic. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/8 "2010-09-04T01:11:31Z")
7th Heaven was a sitcom? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/9 "2010-09-04T01:14:10Z")
Well, I guess we can expand sitcom to general TV show that revolves around a family. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/10 "2010-09-04T01:23:20Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > **Munch** , what about Annie Camden? Hell hath no fury like [Annie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geqQZUPMFQA). Fetch me my tranquilizer gun, I think I can bring 'er down from here. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/11 "2010-09-04T01:45:29Z")
All sitcom families are on the ragged edge of a visit from Social Services. _Home Improvement_ not only had a father who was obsessed with turning appliances into IED’s, both parents let a 17-year old go off to Latin America before he even finished high school. In _Everybody Loves Raymond_ every adult was a seething cauldron of pent-up rage, led by a matriarch who made Joan Crawford look like June Cleaver. _The Cosby Show_ and \*Happy Days \* both featured warm, loving, supportive parents who nonetheless kept forgetting their oldest child’s existence, while on _Family Matters_ the youngest child disappeared without a trace. And on _Petticoat Junction_, three daughters who’ve barely reached adulthood deal with their mother’s death by never mentioning her again. The only sitcom family I’d want to be a part of is the Addams Family. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/12 "2010-09-04T01:47:24Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > **Munch** , what about Annie Camden? Hell hath no fury like [Annie](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geqQZUPMFQA). I’d bang her. Ok, maybe not. But while that weapons-grade passive-aggressiveness needs a license in 37 states, it’s worth it for a chance at grown-up Ruthie. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/13 "2010-09-04T01:52:10Z")
The unnamed family in _Malcolm in the Middle_ looks like a rough ride, with the juvenile father, the shrewish bitch of a mother, the con-artist oldest son, the violent bully second son… I suppose if you snapped and killed them all, you’d be a hero to the neighbors, at least. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/14 "2010-09-04T02:44:00Z")
The Cleavers. If they name their son Beaver, what would they name their daughter? Johnson? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/15 "2010-09-04T02:46:18Z")
Stretching the term “family” a little: \*The Odd Couple. \*They would BOTH drive me crazy. ---
**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/16 "2010-09-04T02:54:57Z")
Stretching the term “sitcom” to the point that I’m not even talking about a sitcom, what about the sisters on Charmed? Sure there’s demons, warlocks and all that, but what about Piper’s freaky eyebrow?! ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/17 "2010-09-04T02:57:29Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > …_Home Improvement_ not only had a father who was obsessed with turning appliances into IED’s, both parents let a 17-year old go off to Latin America before he even finished high school… To be fair Randy was in some kind of junior Peace Corps and living with a host family; it’s not like they just let him bum around Costa Rica. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/18 "2010-09-04T03:12:50Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > The Cleavers. If they name their son Beaver, what would they name their daughter? Johnson? Actually, his name is [Theodore](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leave_It_to_Beaver). Beaver is his nickname. Which is even more screwed up. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/19 "2010-09-04T03:31:13Z")
The Addams family? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560/20 "2010-09-04T03:46:29Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > The Addams family? 😃 You’re telling me a horny, but pale, and ultimately loving family is scarier than [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB24X05F0wI)? 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scariest-sitcom-family-to-live-with/552560.md?page=2)