# Scarlett Johansson is stolen biological material **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2012, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954 "2012-02-06T08:56:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/1 "2012-02-06T08:56:05Z")
Do a search for the thread title in google, someone has been posting this phrase along with a lengthy rant about how a woman named Scarlett Galabekian had her DNA stolen and used to clone the famous actress, there are thousands and thousands of this identical comment stretching back to 2008. Anytime any news site, blog, or message board mentions SJ this person creates an account just to post that comment. :eek:😕 But I do have a cool band name now, ladies and germs welcome Stolen Biological Material!!! ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/2 "2012-02-06T09:25:52Z")
They just borrowed it. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/3 "2012-02-06T09:40:39Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > They just borrowed it. It was stolen according to Sergal 😉 > [@](#): > > That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d\*\*n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I’ll tell you more,those clones (it’s not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ‘‘actress’’ career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett’s family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way! > > Her close friend Serge G. I dare you to read that and not laugh, oh they also insist only the US military should deal with the clones. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/4 "2012-02-06T10:57:58Z")
\*Just cause people wanna eat the burger doesn’t mean they wanna meet the cow. \* ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/5 "2012-02-06T13:47:06Z")
Does this mean that I can go to Germany to get a Scarlett Johansson of my very own? I would like that a lot. My wife may disagree but it’s in the name of science… yeah… Science. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/6 "2012-02-06T14:03:01Z")
I’m imagining that right now, somewhere in Hollywood, some kind of agent or producer type is having a conversation about this new movie they just heard a rumour about: Think _DaVinci Code_ meets a female Jason Bourne, with a secret Nazi underground conspiracy to produce mind-controlled clones, one of which wakes up not knowing who or what they are. And, from what he understands, Scarlett Johansson is already attached as the lead! ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/7 "2012-02-06T14:19:26Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > \*Just cause people wanna eat the burger doesn’t mean they wanna meet the cow. \* Wait, are you saying that Scarlett Johansson is a cow?! :eek: Is this where pink slime beef is coming from? :looks at dinner plate: Did I just eat Scarlett Johansson???////??? :eek:😕:eek:😕:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/8 "2012-02-06T14:34:20Z")
> [@Foggy](#): > > Wait, are you saying that Scarlett Johansson is a cow?! :eek: Got Milk? ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/9 "2012-02-06T14:34:24Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > Does this mean that I can go to Germany to get a Scarlett Johansson of my very own? I would like that a lot. My wife may disagree but it’s in the name of science… yeah… Science. Pick me up two or three while you’re there, would ya? I’ll pay you back with the proceeds of the video I’ll make with them. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/10 "2012-02-06T15:11:12Z")
This is why schizophrenics should be kept away from Michael Bay movies. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/11 "2012-02-06T15:57:02Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > Does this mean that I can go to Germany to get a Scarlett Johansson of my very own? I would like that a lot. My wife may disagree but it’s in the name of science… yeah… Science. Exactly! This guy is saying Germany is creating hundreds of Scarlett clones, and he want them to _ **stop** _!? ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/12 "2012-02-06T16:09:54Z")
Doesn’t Scarlett Johansson have a twin brother? Wonder if he’s a Nazi clone too… ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/13 "2012-02-06T16:32:11Z")
Schizophrenics are annoying in part because their conspiracy theories are always so uninspired. Its always the CIA putting chips in peoples brains or Jesus warning about an imminent apocalypse in a secret code somewhere or being stalked by some celebrity. So props to Serge G. Helmut Khol’s operation to mass produce Scarlett Johansson clones is a pretty original brand of crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/14 "2012-02-06T16:38:50Z")
> [@Nancarrow](#): > > This is why schizophrenics should be kept away from Michael Bay movies. So, in other words… Michael Bay. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/15 "2012-02-06T16:51:24Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > This guy is saying Germany is creating hundreds of Scarlett clones, and he want them to _ **stop** _!? I am sure there is a threshold where the world contains too many Scarlett Johansson clones, but I think we are decades away from Scarlett Clone Glut… Not sure why, but I keep imagining my Scarlett Johansson in a fitted white jump suit… now why would I be thinking that? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/16 "2012-02-06T16:54:42Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Schizophrenics are annoying in part because their conspiracy theories are always so uninspired. Its always the CIA putting chips in peoples brains or… In the distant eighties, I had a room-mate who was schizophrenic, and when asked about why he frequently closed his door and smashed things up him in room while screaming incoherently, he patiently explained that he had been kidnapped by the government and cloned - and although he managed to escape, his clone remained in captivity, and because of the experimental satellite link-up which connected the chips in their brains, he was frequently subjected to unbearable pain as the government tortured his clone in their attempts to compel him to return. Schizophrenia is waaaay down my list of afflictions I think I would be able to cope with, if I had to. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/17 "2012-02-06T16:56:22Z")
I just read a short story the other day by Bruce Sterling in which (extremely incidentally to the plot) a group of organized criminals take advantage of a riot by barricading a posh restaurant to take blood samples from all the guests, which they will then use to make clones, which they will then hold hostage. So I’m disappointed that this nutjob couldn’t be more original. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/18 "2012-02-06T17:46:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Original person is very nice (not d\*\*n sexy) Which means that the clone _improved_ on the original? Possibly even spectacularly improved? Damn, that’s some good cloning! ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/19 "2012-02-06T22:10:34Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Schizophrenia is waaaay down my list of afflictions I think I would be able to cope with, if I had to. I dunno, you’d be amazed what you can deal with when you have to. Unlike what TV would have you believe, schizophrenia runs the gamut from mild to severe, doesn’t usually make people homicidal, and can be treated a lot of the time. I know a young woman who is schizophrenic and sometimes paranoid, but is very much on her meds and knows how to manage herself well. You wouldn’t know she was ill if she didn’t tell you. I don’t want to take away from the seriousness of it - it can be really devastating, especially when the sufferer refuses treatment - but it’s not an automatic life sentence either. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954/20 "2012-02-06T22:22:49Z")
One interesting change they made is that even though the > [@](#): > > Original person is very nice (not d\*\*n sexy),most important - **CHRISTIAN** young lady! The clone (made in Germany, natch) is [Jewish.](http://www.thejc.com/lifestyle/how-jewish-is/how-jewish-scarlett-johansson) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarlett-johansson-is-stolen-biological-material/611954.md?page=2)