# Scarring the Dog For Life! Your Pet & the Kama Sutra **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 20, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467 "2006-09-20T20:13:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/21 "2006-09-21T15:53:48Z")
One of our cats will hardly deign to notice us. She won’t even move her lump self over on the bed to give us some room. She just sort of turns her back and sighs when I noodge her over. The other cat goes psycho. Really, really, psycho. He runs around, skittering into walls and dressers, his back arched and running on his tippytoes like a [Halloween cat.](http://www.ameriyank.com/tubes/holidays/hallo/ay--hcathair.jpg) We have to wrap our used condoms in half a roll of paper towel, because if he fishes a used condom out of the trash, he’ll start growling and spitting at it and wrestle with it in a not-playful way, throwing it around the living room. Then he’s aggressive and bitchy for the rest of the day. Cat’s got _issues_, man. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/22 "2006-09-21T16:04:49Z")
[QUOTE=Pullet] The iguana has never mentioned anything. [/QUOTE] Neither has the leopard gecko. If the red-eared slider had anything to say, it would amount to, “FEED ME! Why are you doing that when you could be feeding me?” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/23 "2006-09-21T16:19:03Z")
[offered without comment](http://mustech.mus.georgiasouthern.edu/html/rrepp/research/python/gifs/fish.GIF) ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/24 "2006-09-21T18:20:40Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] Nice try, you thought you could just slip it in there and she might find it wasn’t so bad. 😛 [/QUOTE] Believe me, I learned not to ever try to sneak in the back door after she literally kicked me out of the bed, which made me do a back flip over the footboard, bounce off the hope chest sitting there and then slam face down on the carpet smashing a turgid portion of my anatomy against the floor. :eek: Getting my tallywacker bent like a crazy straw is something I only need to experience once to know that I will never, EVER try parking in the rear without permission. ---
**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/25 "2006-09-21T18:22:38Z")
[QUOTE=erie774] Believe me, I learned not to ever try to sneak in the back door after she literally kicked me out of the bed, which made me do a back flip over the footboard, bounce off the hope chest sitting there and then slam face down on the carpet smashing a turgid portion of my anatomy against the floor. :eek: Getting my tallywacker bent like a crazy straw is something I only need to experience once to know that I will never, EVER try parking in the rear without permission. [/QUOTE] That might be more information than we needed to know about you and your wife… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/26 "2006-09-21T18:34:56Z")
[QUOTE=Rebecca DiMwitter] Bolding mine—so I am picturing that you were holding both cats, one in each arm? All three of you gawking avidly? That’d sure put me off MY masturbation. [/QUOTE] Of course not. I make it a habit to never hold two cats when I’m naked. Actually, I was laying down next to GF. The cats were sitting. > [@](#): > > But I can’t help wondering how SHE’D tell this story… Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow. Oh wait, you mean the cat? ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/27 "2006-09-21T18:36:31Z")
[QUOTE=934spe] That might be more information than we needed to know about you and your wife… :smack: [/QUOTE] And people posting about getting busy with themselves and kittens playing with vibrators isn’t TMI? 😃 Jeez, it’s not like I was posting about the time we played prison guard and she had to be punished and we couldn’t find the handcuff key… Kidding!!! That never happened!!! We did find the key. Kidding again. We are pretty vanilla. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/28 "2006-09-21T18:38:05Z")
[QUOTE=erie774] Kidding again. We are pretty vanilla. [/QUOTE] That’s pretty kinky, but chocolate is more fun. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/29 "2006-09-21T18:44:47Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] One of our cats will hardly deign to notice us. She won’t even move her lump self over on the bed to give us some room. She just sort of turns her back and sighs when I noodge her over. The other cat goes psycho. Really, really, psycho. He runs around, skittering into walls and dressers, his back arched and running on his tippytoes like a [Halloween cat.](http://www.ameriyank.com/tubes/holidays/hallo/ay--hcathair.jpg) We have to wrap our used condoms in half a roll of paper towel, because if he fishes a used condom out of the trash, he’ll start growling and spitting at it and wrestle with it in a not-playful way, throwing it around the living room. Then he’s aggressive and bitchy for the rest of the day. Cat’s got _issues_, man. [/QUOTE] We have two cats that sleep in the BR also. Our female cat just rolls on her back with slutty smile, hoping someone will rub her belly during or after. The male cat gets this really hurt look. He really has a crush on my wife and he’s upset that she has chosen me instead. Afterwards, he often tries to clean his cat-hood in an exhibitionist manner. (and That just grosses us out to no end) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/30 "2006-09-21T20:26:38Z")
[QUOTE=erie774] she literally kicked me out of the bed, which made me do a back flip over the footboard, bounce off the hope chest sitting there and then slam face down on the carpet smashing a turgid portion of my anatomy against the floor. :eek: Getting my tallywacker bent like a crazy straw is something I only need to experience once to know that I will never, EVER try parking in the rear without permission. [/QUOTE] That’s hot. > [@Rebecca DiMwitter](#): > > as he could shift the bed halfway across the floor with one swipe of his enormous body. That’s sounds like it could add to the excitement of the act, making it (even more) like an amusement park ride. > [@erie774](#): > > So I’m yelling, my wife is screaming, the dog is barking. Then we hear our kids on the other side of the bedroom door asking us what all the noise was about. I thought fast and told them that I tripped over the dog and landed on Mommy. This reminds me of Short Cuts when the kids barge in on a trying-to-start-something Tim Robbins and he covers it up with “Silly Daddy, sleeping on top of Mommy!” [Can you tell I don’t have any pets or sex, since I have nothing original to add to the thread!] ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467/31 "2006-09-22T15:25:23Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] [offered without comment](http://mustech.mus.georgiasouthern.edu/html/rrepp/research/python/gifs/fish.GIF) [/QUOTE] [Explanation of origin](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249524) :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scarring-the-dog-for-life-your-pet-the-kama-sutra/373467.md?page=1)