# Scattering A Loved One's Ashes: Advice! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622 "2010-04-28T14:00:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/21 "2010-04-28T23:54:08Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Besides checking the wind, I’d also make sure he or she is dead first. Pretty sure that question was conclusively resolved at the point where the family accepted the ashes from the crematorium. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/22 "2010-04-29T00:42:17Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Pretty sure that question was conclusively resolved at the point where the family accepted the ashes from the crematorium. Really? I wasn’t aware. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/23 "2010-04-29T03:20:20Z")
I wouldn’t tell your friend right away, but their grandparent’s ashes are mixed with others who were cremated before them. And those cremated later at the same place will contain some of your friend’s grandparent’s ashes. You can mark the occasion as solemn as desired, but the ashes are already in party mode. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/24 "2010-04-29T07:28:11Z")
> [@campp](#): > > I saw rose petals scattered at the same time as ashes once, and thought it was lovely. that sounds nice. I was thinking that you could divide up the ashes among the relatives/friends and disperse them while someone reads a poem. Or you could bring a bottle of wine and make a simple toast while one person pours out the ashes. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/25 "2010-04-29T08:18:36Z")
Thanks for all the suggestions, Dopers! I will send my friend a link to this thread. 🙂 If anybody else has any advice please feel free to add to it! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/26 "2010-04-29T10:03:17Z")
Avoid the boat by using a small catapult or trebuchet to hurl the ashes into the lake. I also vote for playing “Dust In The Wind”. [ifmurdered.com](http://ifmurdered.com) is a great place to find funeral ideas! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/27 "2010-04-29T11:53:24Z")
An in-law once told me that they scattered ashes in the Pacific Ocean, and they floated. This was when we were scattering my bio FiL’s ashes in the Louisiana bayous (fresh water), where they promptly sank. A friend of my FiL bought a fresh flower wreath to float over the spot, and it capsized. “Well, I guess Al wanted to see his flowers…” 😉 Since his friends were all Cajuns and drunks, we adjourned to have a post-scattering kegger. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/28 "2010-04-29T16:15:17Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > You can mark the occasion as solemn as desired, but the ashes are already in party mode. :eek:😃 ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622/29 "2010-04-29T18:24:37Z")
Years ago, I saw a documentary about a guy who died of AIDS and he was cremated. However, the family and friends were shocked when the ashes arrived - it was a huge box! They had all assumed a small amount, like you would expect to fit in an urn about the size of a coffee pot. Mind you, this guy who died was quite thin and not a big guy to begin with - but I was also amazed in the film when that huge box arrived. Just wondering for those who have experienced this, exactly how large is the box/container and does it really contain all of the ashes if it is smaller? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scattering-a-loved-ones-ashes-advice/537622.md?page=1)