# School Athletics **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115 "2008-01-26T19:02:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/1 "2008-01-26T19:02:56Z")
Here’s an e-mail that one of my collegues received from a “concerned” parent. Names have be changed to protect me from a lawsuit: > [@](#): > > Good morning, > > Hello it’s _Johnny Johnson’s_ mom, I understand that _Johnny’s_ quater grade for your class is a D and this affects him being able to play on the basketball team, I was wondering if there is any way that he would be able to have his grade changed today before report cards go out in order for him to play in the game tonight and continue to be on the JV basketball team, I told him that he needs to buckle down and concentrate on doing what he needs to do if plans to continue his education by attending college and he fully understands, he is also willing to do any extra credit work and participiate in any tutoring that may help. Again, if you are able to help with this, in will greatly be appreciated. > > Thanks in advance, I can be contacted by email or by phone… _999-999-9999_ :eek: :eek: :eek: For a woman, she sure has balls! If it’d been written to me, I’d’ve pointed out a few things to Mommy: 1. Besides trying to teach _Johnny_ my subject, I’m also trying to teach him lessons on responsibility and consequences. Those lessons will be lost if I change his grade just for basketball. 2. Next quarter, have Johnny “buckle down” and become willing to do any _regular_ credit work and participate in any _regularly-scheduled classes_ that may help. 3. If _Johnny_ does indeed make it to college, he should start learning now that Mommy won’t always be there to bail him out. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/2 "2008-01-26T19:44:49Z")
[QUOTE=AWB] 3) If _Johnny_ does indeed make it to college, he should start learning now that Mommy won’t always be there to bail him out. [/QUOTE] Nice thought, isn’t it? But it’s not [necessarily true](http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/employment/2007-04-23-helicopter-parents-usat_N.htm). ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/3 "2008-01-26T19:49:20Z")
1. It’s just JV basketball. That means Johnny isn’t very good at basketball, either. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/4 "2008-01-26T19:59:34Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] 4) It’s just JV basketball. That means Johnny isn’t very good at basketball, either. [/QUOTE] 1. If mom is all that concerned about her son’s education, perhaps she’ll keep better informed on how Johnny’s doing, and take steps to help him improve his grades, \*before \*quarter grades are finalized. Somehow, I don’t think Johnny’s all that surprised at his grade. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/5 "2008-01-26T20:09:08Z")
My husband coaches 15-19 year olds in high-level baseball every summer - from the stories he’s told me of the pandemic of entitled attitudes going around, your OP doesn’t surprise me at all. You and your colleagues have my sympathy. The team he coaches on doesn’t take prima donna kids or kids with prima donna parents - he’d have quit coaching a long time ago if they did. They’ve got a kid right now who is asking to be traded because the coaches have the nerve to ask him to actually participate in practices and listen to their advice! The nerve! Trying to turn his raw talent into a bankable skill! ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/6 "2008-01-26T20:11:12Z")
[QUOTE=Brown Eyed Girl] 5) If mom is all that concerned about her son’s education, perhaps she’ll keep better informed on how Johnny’s doing, and take steps to help him improve his grades, \*before \*quarter grades are finalized. Somehow, I don’t think Johnny’s all that surprised at his grade. [/QUOTE] Actually, he may be wide-eyed and shocked by his grade. He shouldn’t be, of course, but he may be all the same. At least it isn’t the coach that’s pressuring the teacher: I had a softball coach rip me a new one because I had “ruined his team” by catching a little girl cheating and telling another teacher, who then uncovered cheating from the little girl herself. Never mind that said little girl was on the brink of complete emotional collapse–really the root of the cheating–and that we were talking to her mom to try and get her some help–no, what mattered was that he needed an outfielder. Of course, the same coach, when he couldn’t field a full team for a tournement, played a girl who had graduated the previous year under another girl’s name (one who was eligible but absent), and then told the whole team to lie about it if asked. When that came to light, they audited his records and discovered that another girl wasn’t eligible–he’d told her and her mom that her grade had been changed but it hadn’t been. The weirdest part was that until the end he had people defending him because he was a pretty good coach. Lousey human being, but a pretty good coach. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/7 "2008-01-26T20:15:27Z")
The entirety of my proposed response to such a letter: > [@me](#): > > Dear Ms. Johnson: > > No. > > Sincerely, > Enginerd This is why (well, one of the myriad reasons) I wouldn’t make it as a teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/8 "2008-01-26T20:16:59Z")
While I know sports can take students away from classes, if he’d getting a D he’s not trying hard enough. I’ve known plenty of people who maintained high grades who played on sports teams, because they worked hard at school (And this while routinely missing math class due to a boneheaded scheduling idea that year) ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/9 "2008-01-26T20:43:06Z")
This is ridiculous. I hope your colleague sent back a kind but firm letter of absolute refusal. Do teachers ever actually respond to this sort of pandering? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/10 "2008-01-26T20:46:07Z")
Even if I \*were \*inclined to change the grade and work with Johnny, which I wouldn’t be, the fact that Mama wanted _until the day before report cards_ came out to even attempt to conact me would garner her a bolded, underscored, NO! ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/11 "2008-01-26T20:54:56Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] 4) It’s just JV basketball. That means Johnny isn’t very good at basketball, either. [/QUOTE] Or he’s a Freshman or Sophomore. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/12 "2008-01-26T20:59:45Z")
[QUOTE=NinjaChick] Nice thought, isn’t it? But it’s not [necessarily true](http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/employment/2007-04-23-helicopter-parents-usat_N.htm). [/QUOTE] I’m just waiting for the first parents to call me because their kid recieved a bad performance review. “Are you a shareholder or client of ours? No? Oh..then fuck off.” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/13 "2008-01-26T21:13:03Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] I’m just waiting for the first parents to call me because their kid recieved a bad performance review. “Are you a shareholder or client of ours? No? Oh..then fuck off.” [/QUOTE] Once the kids get to college, the institution can (and often does) simply dismiss the parents using privacy issues. “I’m sorry, Mrs Smith, but federal law and our own privacy policies prevent us from discussing Johnny’s grades with you.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/14 "2008-01-26T21:13:34Z")
Phooey. I have yanked my son off the track team because of poor grades. I made him go to the coach and tell her he would have to quit because of his grades. I do hope your colleague stands up to her. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/15 "2008-01-26T21:29:12Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] I’m just waiting for the first parents to call me because their kid recieved a bad performance review. “Are you a shareholder or client of ours? No? Oh..then fuck off.” [/QUOTE] Wow! It’s happened. Back when I used to work for a well-known coffee purveyor, we had a young (18yo) employee who was counseled for not showing up for scheduled shifts and frequent tardiness. This employee’s mother subsequently called to complain to the manager that this was creating anxiety for the employee and demanding leniency due to external influences. If I remember correctly, the manager informed the mother that she was unable to discuss matters of employment with anyone who wasn’t employed with the company and suggested that the employee come in to directly discuss job expectations and consequences of not meeting those expectations. Though most of us found it shocking and sad, yet amusing, that an adult would allow their parents to become involved in their employment to that extent, the employee in question was unphased by it. Most of us assessed her as immature for a variety of other reasons and that event just nailed it. I’d say the general response to that was: 😕 :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/16 "2008-01-26T22:18:54Z")
[QUOTE=Brown Eyed Girl] This employee’s mother subsequently called to complain to the manager that this was creating anxiety for the employee and demanding leniency due to external influences. [/QUOTE] The amusement park I worked at had horrific problems with this 10+ years ago. After one summer of dozens of parent confrontations over their “widdle precious” being made to do things like empty trash cans or sweep or other (as I am fond of quoting one parent) “mundane tasks beneath them”. Our solution, brutal but effective. Just like if a SO came in and made a scene, the employee was held responsible. 4 months, 3 suspensions and a firing later, the problem evaporated. This is out of as many as 150 employees with a very young workforce. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/17 "2008-01-26T22:42:21Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] Once the kids get to college, the institution can (and often does) simply dismiss the parents using privacy issues. “I’m sorry, Mrs Smith, but federal law and our own privacy policies prevent us from discussing Johnny’s grades with you.” [/QUOTE] Doesn’t stop 'em from trying. Helicopter parent: “But I pay Johnny’s tuition! I have the right to know what his grades are!” Department secretary’s response: “If Johnny isn’t showing you his grades, that’s between the two of you. The Communication and Journalism Department and the university can’t make him tell you anything, and we certainly can’t.” Robin ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/18 "2008-01-26T23:33:44Z")
Yeah. When the parents do it, it’s frustrating, but I can sympathize and I explain, calmly, the situation. When the coach does it (and it rarely happens, but very, very occasionally it does), I go ballistic and there’s gonna be a Goddamned mediation at the administrative level. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/19 "2008-01-27T01:40:24Z")
I feel sorry for Johnny, I really do. He obviously has a mental handicap. After all, his mother is instilling a damn poor attitude in him. I still don’t think that he should get his grade changed, though. Losing his sports eligibility might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115/20 "2008-01-27T04:39:38Z")
There are times when the school’s basic responsibility to the planet at large [should](http://financial-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Ricardo's+Law) be to maximize each individual’s greatest talent to it’s fullest potential, and the hell with the rest. From a strictly economic standpoint, Johnny’s jump shot may enhance his and many others’ educations far more than his study habits and your efforts in this class. This argument is perfectly true, but I hate it, so let’s try this: The world and each part of it that Johnny may end up in will be better off after he learns that work is rewarded at a higher rate than pleading, whether he ends up in the NBA, the Department of Public Works, at a Gas Station, or in Education. By learning this lesson, he could improve any of these fields and many others. Decide whether this lesson, should you choose to impose it, will gain a net advantage, then do what you decide. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/school-athletics/435115.md?page=2)