Schoolteacher fashions and dating

[elmwood]

@Stonebow

Manda JO, I bow to your insight and eloquence on this matter. But I must add the caveat that if **elmwood ** finds glaring deficiencies in so many of the women he encounters (citing previous posts started by him), eventually, he may need to ask himself if perhaps he needs to adjust his expectations.

Let me

[quote you in this thread]
(http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6918283&postcount=68):

Agree 100%. I get a bit tired of all of the people that want to ‘express themselves’ through their clothing and are shocked - shocked!- when people make judgments about their character via the same means.

I will agree with Martin’s stance on maturity and that knowing the appropriate attire for the occasion is much more important than owning a closet full of expensive stuff. Frankly, I buy all of my stuff off the rack- sometimes through JC Penney’s, sometimes through (gasp!)Wal-Mart. No one’s ever accused me of looking shoddy. And I regularly have to dress for photo ops and special events.

Dressing up is something you need to learn- I was fortunate enough to have a dress code in HS that called for a sport coat and tie every day. After 15 years of it, I am confused of those that feel like they have a noose around their neck when wearing a tie, same as those people (and they exist!) that feel as though they can only wear open toed shoes. Not for any medical reason, but because they don’t want to confine their feet in any way.

Someone earlier remarked on how much of this anti-dress up sentiment reflects a child’s view of ‘adult’ interactions. Once again, I am forced to agree with Martin’s assessment. There’s a point where you need to look outside yourself. If you don’t want to, you have to accept that a lot of doors will be closed to you.

Instead of backing up your previous words, which really were in agreement with my OP, you decided to dig up a bunch of previous posts I made, just to take a cheap shot at me with the implied “he’s not good enough to land a decent woman.” Very snarky.

Of my four thousand something posts here, a tiny percentage involve my holding forth on dating. Scandalous!

[Stonebow]

My post was agreeing with Manda Jo in her statement about this woman’s clothing choices as a reflection of her character- there is clearly a compatibility issue between you two, but I don’t think this makes her ‘evil’ or socially retarded. And frankly, I’ve known too many teachers to think that this woman is very far from the norm fashion-wise, either as a teacher or a middle age woman. And from what you wrote, it seems as though she was otherwise well groomed and hygienic- it was just her style that turned you off.
Likely, she’s aware of what she’s wearing, what her outfit says about her, and the kind of man she wants to attract. By mutual agreement, that man isn’t you. No big deal, just move along. But you’re the one that seems to be offended that she’s not dressing sexy enough for you. Don’t associate her if you don’t want to…but it’s a bit smug (and here’s what raised my hackles, really) to act as though she’s either depriving you of something, or missed some super opportunity here. If she’d come to you for a job interview, maybe you’d have a gripe I’d go along with, as self-destructive behavior is one of my peeves, and my biggest beef with people that neglect their appearance. In this case, you were just two ships passing in the night. If I caught her bitching about you in this manner, I’d have the same response.

And I’m sorry if I’ve pigeon-holed you on this issue- it’s the first thing that comes to mind when I think of you as a poster. You’re the guy who’s looking, but can’t seem to find, Mrs. Right. I’m very aware of your other posts on this board, but this scenario is where your personality comes through- on line dating, frustrations about women’s behavior, and fashion peeves. I still chuckle over ‘real estate hair.’