And that person would be…me! 
By the same token, ‘pickle’ is meant quite literally in the name of this utensil. It is not (repeat: NOT) an anatomical euphemism in this case. :eek:
If you eat something in a restaurant that tastes so good you can’t believe it, the next time you eat there and order it, it won’t be as good.
I’ll one up that with an invention we had in our kitchen some years ago.
It was a container, with a platform with holes in it at the bottom, and a handle that comes up. You pour the pickles in (along with brine) and then lift the platform up. Voila, the pickles come up, but the brine stays behind. Unfortunately I can’t think of a term to search for this in google, but it was remarkably handy.
Counterexample: In’n’Out Burger
It’s also a special example of an even more general class of laws. For instance:
Salting Bounedness Lemma: If you add a small pinch of salt, and taste it’s never salty enough however many times you do it. But if you add a large pinch, it will instantly be too salty. (There is a dual of this law in chemistry, as anyone who’s ever titrated knows.)
Indivisibility Laws: Whenever you need a number of different discrete items in a recipe, the pluraility of each is always such that the maxumum possible of each is wasted.
My ex had that law with Black Olives and pizza. She’d order a large pizza with olives and remove them all before eating.
Law of Reverse expectations: When you go into a place thinking that your food will be great it will always be terrible. Yet some greasy spoon diner will give you the best burger and fries of your life.
Picky Eater Theorem: No matter how many times you tell you friends you are a picky eater and do not enjoy new dinning experiences your friends will constantly invite you over for something they just ‘know you’ll love’ prepare for a night of faking and humiliation.
The Chaos theory and Pie: No matter how many times you order the same type of pie from the same restaurant it will always taste slightly different. The machinery that causes a series of events to account for this taste variation will always be a mystery.
Key lime pie is never as tart as you’d like it to be.
Every order of onion rings will include, at the bottom of the pile, a wayward and usually overbrowned french fry.
No two Dairy Queens produce ice cream of exactly the same thickness and consistency. It’s like fingerflakes or snowprints. (This will likely factor into a future CSI episode: “He couldn’t have purchased that Blizzard from this franchise – it’s too runny!”)
Long John’s Law
The greasy, fried, batter cracklin’s beneath the fish are often better than the fish itself.
I love that hollow one.
A related law states that in a package of peanut M&Ms there shall be at least one that approaches perfect roundness moreso than the others and that one is a solid chocolate ball with no peanut.
Brrrr. I just had a Quantitative Analysis flashback.
Me too. I wish they’d intentionally make them.
The moment you develop an undying love for a certain snack is the moment the company decides to quit making it.
Every seventh package of peanut M&Ms will contain a single, perfect candy with a burned, sour, or otherwise distasteful peanut inside.
1 in 7 refers to individual packs. Half-pounders (and larger) must contain one per bag.
I remember my chemistry professor’s comment on this: “Sometimes too much is not enough.”
He also said that if you are asked to explain a physical phenomenon that you don’t know anything about, attribute it to “surface tension”.
If a bachelor has a poorly-stocked refrigerator, there will always be:
[ol]
[li]Beer;[/li][li]Pizza;[/li][li]Cottage cheese.[/ol] [/li]
If a bachelor has a well-stocked refrigerator, rest assured that
[ol]
[li]all the fresh-seeming foodstuffs are at least one day past their “best-by” date;[/li][li]Any item not in the first row (apart from beer) will be green and fuzzy.[/li][li]Hi opal.[/ol] [/li]
–SSgtBaloo
- The chance that this pizza is still edible is approximately 50%. If the pizza is not edible, it will not be recognizable as pizza, as it will have a luxuriant coat of green hair.
** This will, of course, be found in bottom of a container labeled “milk”. Do not eat this. When the bachelor bought it, it was milk.
*** Do not ask the bachelor to identify any such item. Odds are he doesn’t know either, and once its existence is brought to his attention, there is a non-zero probability he may decide to eat it anyway just to gross you out. The possibility that this may neccessitate a hasty dash to the bathroom (or emergency room) will not occur to him until he utters the phrase “I don’t feel so good”.
Eating a pound of sauerkraut in less than 30 minutes will cause one of the quickest acting, most powerful laxative effects known to mankind.