# Scientifically inaccurate songs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [October 12, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882 "2005-10-12T12:54:04Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/81 "2005-10-13T04:54:04Z")
> [@deevee](#):
>
> referring to the assasination of Martin Luther King
> “early morning April 4 a shot rings out in the Memphis sky”
>
> although I saw them last month and Bono sings “afternoon April 4” but it doesn’t feel right since half a beat is missing.
I heard somewhere that he sings “early evening,” which would’ve been a lot smarter - King was shot just after 6 p.m. :smack:
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### Author:  [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/82 "2005-10-13T05:01:11Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> That was badly expressed: let’s say that miners are proportionately more likely to suffer potentially fatal injury or ill-health.
>
> On the other hand, Mr Bowie has no such recourse in **Ashes To Ashes** : “Ashes to ashes, funk to funky/We know Major Tom’s a junky”. Presumably Nasa _does_ have a mandatory drug-testing policy, and as such are highly unlikely to send a heroin addict into orbit. To suggest otherwise is libellous.
But if “Major Tom” isn’t really an astronaut, if he’s just a junkie, and Bowie’s “Space Oddity” was merely using space travel as a metaphor for getting high and drifting away from the world… then everything works out fine.
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/83 "2005-10-13T05:17:02Z")
> [@astorian](#):
>
> But if “Major Tom” isn’t really an astronaut, if he’s just a junkie, and Bowie’s “Space Oddity” was merely using space travel as a metaphor for getting high and drifting away from the world… then everything works out fine.
The “Ground Control” end of the conversation would seem to refute this hypothesis: “Ground Control to Major Tom, your circuit’s dead, is there something wrong? Can you hear me, Major Tom?”. However, I have no quibble with “Planet Earth is blue, and there’s nothing I can do.”
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### Author:  [@Blake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blake)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/84 "2005-10-13T05:30:24Z")
> [@pravnik](#):
>
> Carbon 14 is a naturally occurring isotope found in all organic compounds, including our bodies in an exact equilibrium with the Carbon 14 content of the CO2 in the atmosphere until we die and quit ingesting it, hence Carbon 14 dating.
Actually it’s not quite in equilibrium since many plants preferentially fix Carbon 12. As a result most people have far more Carbon 12 than is found in the atmosphere.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/85 "2005-10-13T05:59:06Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> The “Ground Control” end of the conversation would seem to refute this hypothesis: “Ground Control to Major Tom, your circuit’s dead, is there something wrong? Can you hear me, Major Tom?”.
I’ve never heard that idea before, but I don’t think this refutes it. It’d be a metaphor for him losing touch with reality for good or something.
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### Author:  [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/86 "2005-10-13T06:17:02Z")
Attention, Midnight Oil:
You ask “How can we dance when our earth is turning?” somewhat facetiously, as though you believe it to be an impossibility. In fact, with the Earth’s angular momentum remaining constant, at least to the limits of human perceptibility, our ability to perform all motion without regard to our planet’s movement is ably explained by Galilean relativity.
As to how anyone sleeps while their bed is burning, that indeed remains a mystery. Severe narcolepsy, perhaps.
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/87 "2005-10-13T06:27:28Z")
I’m conflicted about Deep Purple’s **Highway Star** , in which Ian Gillan declares “Nobody’s gonna beat my car/It’s gonna break the speed of sound”. The speed of sound at sea level is around 761 mph, give or take depending on temperature, and the Thrust SSC driven {piloted?} by Andy Green in 1997 comprehensively _did_ break the speed of sound, clocking in two runs within an hour {the competition rules} timed at, respectively 759 and 766 mph. So far Deep Purple seem to have the scientific edge.
However, later in the song Gillan declares “Eight cylinders all right, hold tight” which takes us beyond the realm of scientific possibility: no matter how powerful an V8 internal combustion engine may be, it cannot achieve supersonic speed, especially with the added weight of a passenger, which “hold tight” would seem to imply Gillan was carrying: the Thrust SSC team, with a single driver, required a honking great turbofan jet engine to achieve the necessary speed. The upper limit for an eight cylinder engine limit is probably around 150 mph {I was unable to find any firm data for a V8 speed record}, or less than 1/5th of Mach 1.
In conclusion, while a Highway Star may indeed break the speed of sound, it is unable to do so using conventional means of automotive propulsion, especially with a hot chick in the passenger seat.
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### Author:  [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/88 "2005-10-13T06:36:49Z")
In another case of publication before peer review, we have the case of one “Dr.” Robert B Pickett, who claims he witnessed a re-animated corpse of his own creation performing a ghoulish variation of the Mashed Potato dance step. We are forced to dismiss his claims as dubious at best.
First, he provides no replicable details of his work to verify the viability of his creation. Nor does he proffer any plausible mechanism as to how such a being could, in its first moments of life, coordinate the proper motions. The reports from what few witnesses there are have been contradictory: Detractors claim the motions were nothing but incoherent stumbling, while supporters line up behind Pickett, “Boris” to his friends, repeatedly insisting “He did the Mash!”
However, even the good doctor, summoning what little shame he apparently possesses, feels the need to at least qualify this conjecture, attempting to pass off his creature’s failure to correctly move its body as some sort of sanctioned variation on the step. He can often be heard attempting to correct the most zealous of his followers with: “He did the Monster Mash!”
Pure poppycock, I say!
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### Author:  [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/89 "2005-10-13T06:50:52Z")
Queen’s **Don’t Stop Me Now** has some good science and bad science in it.
Good Science : A rocket ship is a good way to travel to Mars.
Bad Science : A collision course is not advisable if you wish to survive the trip.
Good Science : Shooting stars travel through the skies.
Bad Science : They may not defy the laws of gravity. In fact gravity is probably the reason they’ve become shooting stars.
Good Science : ‘Mister Fahrenheit’ is potentially an apt name for someone of a high temperature; indeed 200 degrees is close to boiling at sea level.
Bad Science : 200 degrees is not a healthy temperature to be at. It’s most likely fatal, and if you’re in the sky, possibly above boiling.
Good Science : Traveling at the speed of light is, in fact, supersonic. By quite a large margin.
Bad Science : It lacks the ability to make a man a woman.
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### Author:  [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/90 "2005-10-13T06:51:35Z")
“The Black Widow” - Alice Cooper,
_The horror of his sting
The horror that he brings
The Unholiest of kings
The Black Widow"_
Uh, sorry. It’s the female that rules that particular web.
_He sits upon his throne
And picks at all the bones
Of his husbands and his wives
He’s devoured._
Last I looked, arachnids have exoskeletons, not bones. I never heard of a bisexual spider either.
Breaks my heart to hear ol’ Alice mess up so thoroughly. ☹
I also have serious doubts about the existance of “One eyed, one horned, flyin’ purple people eaters.”! :dubious: 😃
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### Author:  [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/91 "2005-10-13T07:56:13Z")
The Brady Kids are a bit wack in their lyrics.
From Sunshine Day:
\*I think i’ll go for a walk outside now
the summer sun’s callin my name
\*
It’s not the sun taking, it’s the heat stroke.
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### Author:  [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/92 "2005-10-13T08:39:16Z")
The narrator of Brownsville Station’s “Martian Boogie” claims that Martians smoke cigarettes that look like crayons. I doubt that you could keep a cigarette lit in the thin Martian atmosphere.
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### Author:  [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/93 "2005-10-13T09:04:09Z")
Someone needs to inform the author of the Talking Heads hit “Burning Down The House” that a house fire burns a hell of a lot hotter than 365 degrees, especially if he means Fahrenheit.
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/94 "2005-10-13T12:02:01Z")
On the subject of Martians, I find it difficult to accept that the “man from Mars” in Blondie’s **Rapture** could subsist upon a diet of Subarus, Mercuries and Lincolns and the occasional head, let alone guitars.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/95 "2005-10-13T12:28:19Z")
by the way, regarding **Moon Pilot** – I didn’t remember that the star was Beta Lyrae. If so, it’s a rotten choice for a place to live – Beta Lyrae is a variable star.
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### Author:  [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/96 "2005-10-13T14:56:35Z")
“In Heaven there is no beer” is likewise a statement of faith rather than fact, and worse, it is not consistent with any Judeo-Christian theology. If there is no beer in Heaven, it cannot be the Paradise promised to believers.
I am quite positive, as well, that Harry Nilsson never in his life went “Driving along at fifty seven thousand miles an hour”.
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### Author:  [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/97 "2005-10-13T15:12:44Z")
I can’t believe nobody’s used Thomas Dolby’s _Blinded by Science_ yet.
“She blinded me with science”…
Pish posh. The mere use of scientific method could not blind someone.
Now if a scientist were carrying a beaker of nitric acid and tripped and accidentally spilled it all over someone’s eyes, _that_ would blind them. But Mr. Dolby didn’t refer to a specific instance like that so I call shenanigans on him.
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### Author:  [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/98 "2005-10-13T16:21:15Z")
More mathematically incorrect than scientifically incorrect would be Jimi Hendrix’s _If 6 Was 9_. Though apparently, he wouldn’t mind.
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### Author:  [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/99 "2005-10-13T17:08:09Z")
_“…the best soy latte I ever had…”_
Train has obviously never had a soy latte, because it’s scientifically impossible to create even a moderately tasty one. Much less anything approaching “best.”
Speaking of dairy, what about _Bossy cow sings moo…I have milk for you?_
You know, I was five years old when I got the sheet music to that song, and I gotta tell ya, for awhile I thought perhaps bossy cow really _did_ sing “Moo.”
When in fact, cows don’t sing at all, and their knowledge of English is rudimentary at best. And they’re not nearly generous enough to share their milk willingly.
C’mon. The whole song is just bullshit.
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### Author:  [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)
#### Post date: [October 13, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/100 "2005-10-13T18:23:16Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#):
>
> I can’t believe nobody’s used Thomas Dolby’s _Blinded by Science_ yet.
>
> “She blinded me with science”…
>
> Pish posh. The mere use of scientific method could not blind someone.
>
> Now if a scientist were carrying a beaker of nitric acid and tripped and accidentally spilled it all over someone’s eyes, _that_ would blind them. But Mr. Dolby didn’t refer to a specific instance like that so I call shenanigans on him.
Although “She hit me with technology” could easily be an assault with with a Speak ‘n’ Spell.
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