# Scientifically inaccurate songs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [October 12, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882 "2005-10-12T12:54:04Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 8
### Author:  [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/141 "2005-10-14T21:25:04Z")
“Fly Me To The Moon”
No human being has ever landed on the moon :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/142 "2005-10-14T21:31:48Z")
Slade’s **Far Far Away** has to take the Grand Prize For Astronomical Ineptitude: “I’ve seen the sun set in the east and in the west.” _Sure_ you have, Noddy.
{OK, I know what he _meant_ to say, but it was damn clumsily put}
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/143 "2005-10-14T22:07:05Z")
I have it on good authority that no musical organization, from marching band to stage orchestra, can reasonably function if the trombone section alone is composed of seventy-six individual performers.
Obscure knowledge combined with faux-humorless obsessive nitpicking. Is there a greater example of the Dope’s _raison d’etre_ than this thread?
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### Author:  [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/144 "2005-10-14T22:17:40Z")
> [@Talon Karrde](#):
>
> Time travel is impossible, or at least nobody knows how to do it yet. You can’t just go and claim to have a time machine without proof.
Minor nitpick. There is at least one theorhetical method of time travel that I’ve heard about. I’m not a mathematician, nor do I keep up on the high end physics journals, so it may have been debunked since it was first posited. The method involves, IIRC, a massive and infinitely long tube/spar, rotating at relativistic speeds. To say that the mettallurgical techniques are not available at this time is an understatement, but it is possible mathmatically.
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### Author:  [@yoyodyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyodyne)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/145 "2005-10-14T22:42:28Z")
Billy Thorpe’s “Children of the Sun”: Aliens have not been scientifically shown to exist, and 4 out of 5 scientists believe it to be impossible for a sun to have offspring that speak and travel in spacecraft.
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> I have it on good authority that no musical organization, from marching band to stage orchestra, can reasonably function if the trombone section alone is composed of seventy-six individual performers.
While this may be artistically improbable, I wouldn’t classify it as scientifically inaccurate.
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### Author:  [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/146 "2005-10-14T23:13:15Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> Obscure knowledge combined with faux-humorless obsessive nitpicking. Is there a greater example of the Dope’s _raison d’etre_ than this thread?
Not to mention an awesome command of esoteric bad rock lyrics. This is definitely one of the best threads in a long time.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/147 "2005-10-14T23:39:06Z")
Memo to Rick Dees:
While disco music has been known to cause riots, I don’t believe it’s possible for it to cause a man to transform into a duck.
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### Author:  [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/148 "2005-10-14T23:39:30Z")
I don’t know about Lyle Lovett’s needs for raw fish, but just to clear up any confusion, there are currently [bears in Arkansas](http://www.agfc.com/critters/wildlife_bear_p2.html).
Golden Earring should be informed that use of radar at levels detectable by the human body, without a radio or antenna, is potentially dangerous. They should also be careful not to do this in the U.S. without first determining which portion of the spectrum they are operating in and if necessary obtaining a license from the FCC. Failure to do so could result in fines, or a drop in album sales.
They also should know that being cloned doesn’t much feel like anything, even in the Twilight Zone.
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### Author:  [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/149 "2005-10-14T23:45:17Z")
> [@YaWanna](#):
>
> Finally, Lyle Lovett seems to believe that **Penguins** are so sensitive to his needs.
>
> Not unless your needs are limited to things like eating raw herring and avoiding polar bears.
Which is, of course, compounded by the problem that penguins and polar bears live at opposite ends of the earth and never encounter one another in their natural habitats. I guess a crazed zookeeper might but them both into the same exhibit to see what happens…
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### Author:  [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/150 "2005-10-14T23:50:38Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#):
>
> AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”
>
> I doubt seriously anyone would try to build a highway to a place that doesn’t exist. Even if it did and they did try, wouldn’t the asphalt melt when it got close to hell?
Incorrect!
[Hell, Michigan](http://mappoint.msn.com/(xmu30045tcvmda55regf4i55)/map.aspx?L=USA&C=42.43472%2c-83.98503&A=41.56667&P=%7CA3548%7C&TI=Hell%2c+Livingston%2c+Michigan%2c+United+States) is on state highway D32.
Clearly AC DC were on their way to a concert in Detroit when they wrote this song.
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### Author:  [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)
#### Post date: [October 14, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/151 "2005-10-14T23:56:11Z")
> [@YaWanna](#):
>
> Finally, Lyle Lovett seems to believe that **Penguins** are so sensitive to his needs.
>
> Not unless your needs are limited to things like eating raw herring and avoiding polar bears.
As it happens, penguins are from the Antarctica and have very little experience in any sort of interaction with polar bears, the polar bear being an Arctic species. (Unless, of course, you wish to make the point that this state of affairs is the result of very, very proficient avoidance behaviour.)
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### Author:  [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/152 "2005-10-15T00:18:13Z")
From “Born to Run”:
“Baby this town rips the bones from your back…”
Is this town run by Predators? I don’t think so.
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### Author:  [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/153 "2005-10-15T00:24:14Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#):
>
> I can’t believe nobody’s used Thomas Dolby’s _Blinded by Science_ yet.
>
> “She blinded me with science”…
>
> Pish posh. The mere use of scientific method could not blind someone.
>
> Now if a scientist were carrying a beaker of nitric acid and tripped and accidentally spilled it all over someone’s eyes, _that_ would blind them. But Mr. Dolby didn’t refer to a specific instance like that so I call shenanigans on him.
There is also the line “The spheres are in commotion”.
Apparently Mr. Dolby is living in the pre-Copernican age. Sad, really.
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### Author:  [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/154 "2005-10-15T00:48:34Z")
Melissa Ethridge is almost certainly misinformed about her claim to have a chrome-plated heart. Chrome is a radiopaque substance which causes metallic artifact blurring on conventional X-ray film and cannot successfully be identified as such without a biopsy; but as her song also claims she has Midas in her touch, such a biopsy would be rendered impossible as any core sample needle used for the purpose of obtaining tissue samples would be turned to gold, rendering it inoperable for the purpose.
The song by Tennessee Ernie Ford claims he owes his soul to the company store in exchange for sixteen tons of coal which he claims to have personally loaded while still an infant. The company store does not recognize souls as valid legal tender.
Philosophically speaking, the Talking Heads cannot be located on a road absent of destination, as by definition, the band themselves represents a destination point along the road continuum; therefore, while it may be possible they are on a road _from_ nowhere, anybody could take that road _to_ the Talking Heads (first postulating another traveler on said road in search of a destination). Discuss.
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### Author:  [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/155 "2005-10-15T01:05:15Z")
> [@Leviosaurus](#):
>
> Incorrect!
>
> [Hell, Michigan](http://mappoint.msn.com/(xmu30045tcvmda55regf4i55)/map.aspx?L=USA&C=42.43472%2c-83.98503&A=41.56667&P=%7CA3548%7C&TI=Hell%2c+Livingston%2c+Michigan%2c+United+States) is on state highway D32.
>
> Clearly AC DC were on their way to a concert in Detroit when they wrote this song.
I’ve been to Hell, you know. Nice little place. And contrary to what most people think, Hell freezes over almost every winter.
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### Author:  [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/156 "2005-10-15T01:07:08Z")
Considering that Dan Fogelberg was born in 1951, I think it’s safe to say he can’t have loved the person to whom [this song](http://lyrics.duble.com/lyrics/D/dan-fogelberg-lyrics/dan-fogelberg-longer-lyrics.htm) is dedicated for “longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean” (the oldest fish fossil dates to about [530,000,000 years ago](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4498049.stm)), let alone for “longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens” (the [progenitor star](http://www.universetoday.com/am/publish/finding_first_stars.html) exploded about 13,000,000,000 years ago).
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### Author:  [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/157 "2005-10-15T01:21:34Z")
> [@Max Carnage](#):
>
> “Fly Me To The Moon”
>
> No human being has ever landed on the moon :rolleyes:
Just keep telling yourself that…🙂
On a related note: Giant steps are what you take
“Walking on the moon
I hope my legs don’t break
Walking on the moon
**We could walk for ever**
Walking on the moon
We could live together
Walking on, walking on the moon”
Doe he have even the slightest concept of the idea of “forever”? I think not. This, and many other inacuracies in songs by The Police, turned me off of them forever. 😃
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### Author:  [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/158 "2005-10-15T01:36:49Z")
**Scott Plaid** , you have to give The Police credit for not “Walking on Starshine.” At least they were describing walking on a real surface.
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### Author:  [@raindog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindog)
#### Post date: [October 15, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/159 "2005-10-15T13:41:15Z")
**Talon Karrde**
> [@](#):
>
> Similarly, Tom Waits was incorrect when he said “I am a raindog too.”
Because _ **I** _ am **the** raindog
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientifically-inaccurate-songs/325882/160 "2005-10-16T18:52:30Z")
The song _I’d Like to Buy the World A Coke_ (also known as _I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing_) is filled with factual errors. The song was originally written for a Coca-Cola advertisement- since advertising is full of hyperbole, this seems to explain the many impossibilites in the song itself.
First off, we must ask ourselves: is the definition of “the world” in the song the population of the planet Earth (the people of the world) or the actual planet itself (the actual world)? Both are often referred to as “the world.” Although it is presumed that the world in the case of this song means the people of the world, there is a possibility that it could mean the world itself. A 1940s _Time_ magazine cover showed an illustration of a giant Coca-Cola logo, with face, feeding a bottle of Coke to the Earth, also with face. This symbolic image represents both definitions at once- the world drinks Coca-Cola, The World drinks Coca-Cola. We will look at the song from both viewpoints.
> [@Bill Backer](#):
>
> I’d like to buy the world a home, furnish it with love
> Grow apple trees, honey bees, and snow-white turtle doves
According to the CIA, the size of The World is over 510 million square kilometers, and the population is appromately six and a half billion. Either way you look at it, that’s a freakin’ big house. Also, although it is possible to grow apple trees, there is not yet a feasible way to plant and raise bees and doves, nor utilize abstract concepts such as love as furniture.
> [@](#):
>
> I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
Again, either way you look at it, it would be hard to teach the world to sing. If talking about the people, it would take a long time to teach 6.5 billion people to sing on key. Also, would the “perfect harmony” be two-part, three-part, four-part, or six billion four hundred forty-four million one hundred thirty-one thousand four hundred-part? If talking about The World itself, it would be impossible, since planets can’t sing.
> [@](#):
>
> I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company
Again, over six billion people. Seeing as the average Coca-Cola bottle is 20 fluid ounces, it would have to be a very big Coke. If a 20-ounce bottle goes for, say, $2, this uberCoke would contain over 12 billion dollars worth of Coke. As for The World itself, planets can’t drink either.
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