# Scientists accidentally kill world's oldest animal at age 507 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078 "2013-11-16T21:34:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/41 "2013-11-18T20:35:04Z")
> [@chowching](#): > > Well did they taste it? Recalling something I saw in a thread a while ago, it probably was like putting your tongue on a weak 9v battery. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/42 "2013-11-18T20:35:35Z")
> [@chowching](#): > > Well did they taste it? Dude, have some respect for the dead! They savored it. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/43 "2013-11-18T20:37:41Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Stop it. > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Recalling something I saw in a thread a while ago, it probably was like putting your tongue on a weak 9v battery. Only to the clam. ---
**Author:** ![Mclovin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mclovin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mclovin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/44 "2013-11-18T21:28:14Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > He’s lucky he wasn’t in a rock band, he would have died 480 years ago. Best one yet!! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/45 "2013-11-18T23:41:56Z")
Do you… Do you guys think there’s such thing as clam heaven? ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/46 "2013-11-18T23:53:59Z")
there’s no irritable sand grains in clam heaven. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/47 "2013-11-18T23:54:00Z")
All quagga mussels go to hell. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/48 "2013-11-19T02:17:34Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > there’s no irritable sand grains in clam heaven. No pearly gates, then? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/49 "2013-11-19T02:26:11Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > No pearly gates, then? Everything I was taught in Sunday School is a lie! ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/50 "2013-11-19T02:28:42Z")
I just talked to my pastor. He said God made clams immortal unless killed by scientists. And they still make pearls from Moses Sand. Apparently it doesn’t irritate but does have one hell of an ego. Whew. Glad that’s cleared up. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/51 "2013-11-19T02:51:59Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > Thinking about this in terms of reincarnation, imagine how much it would suck to come back as a clam and be stuck waiting 500 years before you could get on with your next life. I know one thing for sure… no psychic ever told her client that they lived through the Renaissance as a clam. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/52 "2013-11-19T02:53:19Z")
Aw, shucks. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/53 "2013-11-19T03:18:18Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > I get it’s a shame to end something that’s lived a profoundly long time. But it’s lived a long, full life. Of just kinda sitting there. At the bottom of the sea. For half a century. Bored out of its goddamn clam-mind. > > Even for a clam, they probably did it a favor. We might think it was a boring life, but in fact he was happy as a clam. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/54 "2013-11-19T04:09:18Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Do you… Do you guys think there’s such thing as clam heaven? Yes, and it’s always high tide there. ---
**Author:** ![ruh-roh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ruh-roh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruh-roh)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/55 "2013-11-19T04:50:58Z")
“Never trust a clam.” B.C. (Johnny Hart) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/56 "2013-11-19T14:54:43Z")
It had a nacre for survival, for sure. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/57 "2013-11-19T17:00:14Z")
Gonna have to muscle through the puns now. That’s my _one_ for the year! ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/58 "2013-11-21T16:40:43Z")
I’ll be happy to officiate at the funeral…provided I have some milt, salt pork, butter, onion and potatoes! Keel clam (calm)! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/59 "2013-11-21T16:46:33Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > there’s no irritable sand grains in clam heaven. … says a guy who apparently never tried to have sex on a beach. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078/60 "2013-11-28T00:15:09Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I would think that 507 year-old clam would be the toughest, stringiest piece of meat ever. 😉 No, you just mis-read the story (or they mis-reported it). This is a clam they dredged up _500 years ago_ and have been simmering it in barbecue sauce until now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientists-accidentally-kill-worlds-oldest-animal-at-age-507/674078.md?page=2)