# Scientologists and Thetans **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 29, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441 "2006-03-29T18:55:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/1 "2006-03-29T18:55:41Z")
What do Scientologists do with body thetans? Where do they go to once they have been removed? What are the differences between body thetans and mind thetans? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/2 "2006-03-29T20:18:50Z")
I could tell ya, but it’ll cost ya! ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/3 "2006-03-29T21:03:36Z")
A Scientologist never gets rid of body thetans. Oh, they try, but since you not only have to audit your own reactive mind, but the reactive mind of all those countless psychic parasites you’ll never finish in this lifetime. Then in your next life you start the process over again… It’s like the old saw about chiropractors: _Your patients never die, and they never get better._ Just keep squeezing the electrified soup cans until you reach bankruptcy, then off to the Sea Org with you. What I’d like to know is, what kind of profit margin do the clams make selling eMeters for near US$5,000? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/4 "2006-03-29T21:42:21Z")
But what happens to the poor body thetans that are cleared out of someones system. Should we be concerned with possible cruelty going on in the act of removing them from their host? After all the mind and body thetans are the same type of ogranism as far as I can tell reading the clam pages on the web. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/5 "2006-03-29T23:04:31Z")
To heck with the Thetans, how do I get rid of the vegans? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/6 "2006-03-29T23:11:26Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] To heck with the Thetans, how do I get rid of the vegans? [/QUOTE] [Sometimes it takes seven pages.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=111345) ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/7 "2006-03-30T01:30:28Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] To heck with the Thetans, how do I get rid of the vegans? [/QUOTE] Do you have body vegans or mind vegans? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/8 "2006-03-30T01:44:01Z")
Sorry, I put this in GD to be at least partially serious. From what I can tell Body Thetans and Mind Thetans are ment to be the same sort of entity, just body Thetans are sort of mixed up or something. Didn’t react well to being nuked by Xenu and became somewhat damaged. ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/9 "2006-03-30T14:12:06Z")
Basically, you are a thetan, whereas body thetans belong to those who died but don’t have a body to pick up yet. The thetan gets trapped in a body at or around conception and things go downhill from there. We have six-point-something billion bodies on this planet but Xenu nuked something along the lines of 178 billion sentient beings or so, leaving lots of thetans to latch on to hapless bodies like so many leeches. Where do they go after your check clears? Blubbard mentioned implant stations on Mars and Jupiter (IIRC). The method of transport isn’t specified, but I assume those space-capable DC-7s are involved. And you think economy is cramped, how would you like to spend months with some slob spilling his bulk into your seat? (I’m extrapolating flight duration from transatlantic flight times. I have no idea how fast a DC-7 “flies” in vacuum). ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/10 "2006-03-30T15:39:32Z")
I would imagine since we’re all thetans that the body thetans that have been cleared go on to process naturally into the reincarnation stream. And yes, I also can’t believe I treated this as a serious question with a serious answer. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/11 "2006-03-30T17:19:09Z")
So you have a top-dog thetan that is the head thetan that is the ‘you’ but other thetans try to attatch to your body but don’t get the head position and are just hanging about in your body doing no good work and stinking up the place. Is Xenu a big nasty Thetan or some other type of creature? If you get rid of all but the head Thetan you become telepathic and other cool stuff, is that the belief/point of getting rid of those pesky body thetans. ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/12 "2006-03-30T18:40:16Z")
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless] Is Xenu a big nasty Thetan or some other type of creature? If you get rid of all but the head Thetan you become telepathic and other cool stuff, is that the belief/point of getting rid of those pesky body thetans. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure what species Xenu was, but I don’t think thetans are species-specific. We did evolve from clams afer all. :rolleyes: He was definitely a nasty sort though, turned to genocide to retain his grip on power. Abu Ghraib has nothing on Teegeeack (Earth’s name in Xenu’s time). I wonder if there were charges of vote rigging beforehand… Once you’ve audited away all of your body thetans you gain power over the MEST (Matter, Energy, Space, & Time) universe we live in. The trouble is, not only must “your thetan” clear it’s reactive mind of engrams but to detach thetans _they must have their reactive minds cleared as well._ How long does this take? The “Billion Year Contract” of the Sea Org suggests more than one lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/13 "2006-03-30T20:27:22Z")
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless] Do you have body vegans or mind vegans? [/QUOTE] What’s the difference? They both taste like chicken. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/14 "2006-03-30T20:49:03Z")
Gete thee behind me, thetan! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/15 "2006-03-30T20:49:09Z")
Get thee behind me, thetan! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/16 "2006-03-30T21:53:38Z")
Thetan is an anogram of The Ant, coincidence or deep secret? ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/17 "2006-04-02T13:32:13Z")
Some have come close. Yes, you are the thetan. The others are parasites, souls of other dispatched beings. When you rid yourself of a body thetan, you free it to re-incarnate into a full fledged thetan, so you are doing it a favor as well. See how everything works out for the best if you just stay on course and work your way up The Bridge ™? /knows far too much about Sceintology ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/18 "2006-04-02T16:07:14Z")
Okay, here’s a question. Do we know that Scientologists actually believe this stuff? I mean, supposedly all the low-level scienos don’t know about it (and would honestly deny it if asked), and the ones that do are sworn to secrecy. So, how do we know? And how do we know if the information we have is right? Not to be provocative, but how do we know that the stuff we’ve seen on Xenu et al aren’t as inaccurate as the Protocols of the Elders of Zion or the blood libel or other religious slanders. I’m not accusing anyone here of anything, but I’d like to be able to give an answer when Scientologists do break put that line of debate. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/19 "2006-04-02T16:28:30Z")
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless] Where do they go to once they have been removed? [/QUOTE] Disneyland! ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441/20 "2006-04-02T16:47:13Z")
[QUOTE=Menocchio] Okay, here’s a question. Do we know that Scientologists actually believe this stuff? I mean, supposedly all the low-level scienos don’t know about it (and would honestly deny it if asked), and the ones that do are sworn to secrecy. So, how do we know? And how do we know if the information we have is right? [/quote] We know because there is multiple corroborative accounts from many ex members and we have audio lectures that Hubbard gave in his unmistakeable Jocular yet Gravelly Smoker’s Rasp describing his teleportation to Venus where he was almost run over by a freight locomotive, and we have the Xenu story written in his own poor hand. Most used bookstores in LA have some higher level Sceintology books on offer at a VERY steep discount from the Church price, and these relatively public volumes include LOTS of very wierd stuff so Xenu would fit right in. > [@](#): > > Not to be provocative, but how do we know that the stuff we’ve seen on Xenu et al aren’t as inaccurate as the Protocols of the Elders of Zion or the blood libel or other religious slanders. I started being interested in cults at the time of the Jonestown mass suicide. Since then, I have read extensively about every cult there is. I collect cult propaganda. Scientology is a particularly interesting one because it is large, long lived to the point of surviving it’s founder (very unusual), it is a live culture that is easily studied, and it is just very weird. All this makes it a favorite. I have no bone to pick with anyone. The authors of the Protocols were racist frauds. The evidence for what Scientology acutally represents is bountiful. I feel sorry for most Sceintologists and wish them well. The same cannot be said for the believers in “Protocols”. They all hate the Jews. > [@](#): > > I’m not accusing anyone here of anything, but I’d like to be able to give an answer when Scientologists do break put that line of debate. Not only is “Bare Face Messiah” a great read, it is very well researched, and much more interesting and plausible than the Church’s story of Elron’s life. I’tll give you lots of ammo. Best of all, you can read it for free. Just go to [www.xenu.net](http://www.xenu.net) for that and lots more goodies. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scientologists-and-thetans/350441.md?page=2)