# Scotty vs Kaylee? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 8, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329 "2009-09-08T20:30:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/1 "2009-09-08T20:30:35Z")
You know the drill. Who’d win? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/2 "2009-09-08T20:35:47Z")
**Scotty:** “I canna hit a lady!” **Kaylee:** _\_ **Scotty:** “That’s what the stun setting is for!” _\\_ ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/3 "2009-09-08T20:36:36Z")
Scotty. Both of them are terrific innate engineers, but Scotty also has the training and “book learning” (remember in “Trouble With Tribbles”, when Kirk confines him to his quarters, Scotty beams that he can spend the time catching up on his technical journals). ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/4 "2009-09-08T20:42:14Z")
Win what? Like, a fight? Scotty, pretty clearly. He’s a guy who gets in barfights with Klingons. If you’re talking about who’s a better engineer, Kaylee gets the edge there because she can fix things without relying on imaginary particles. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/5 "2009-09-08T20:45:31Z")
Kirk would clearly fall in love with Kaylee, but you know how it goes. She’s not staying on board once the episode ends. She’ll be killed off, become president on her planet or turn out to be her own alternate dimension twin or something. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/6 "2009-09-08T20:49:15Z")
Kaylee. In a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/7 "2009-09-08T22:05:25Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Win what? Like, a fight? Scotty, pretty clearly. He’s a guy who gets in barfights with Klingons. If you’re talking about who’s a better engineer, Kaylee gets the edge there because she can fix things without relying on imaginary particles. You’re confusing Scotty with Geordi. He offered the token protest each time, but he pretty much did what was asked of him without explaining exactly what he was doing like later Trek engineers. ---
**Author:** ![Dan\_Norder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@Dan\_Norder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dan_Norder)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/8 "2009-09-08T22:14:19Z")
If you mean in a physical fight, Scotty. If you mean a competition of some sort where each gets to use tech from their respective shows, Scotty, big-time. If you mean both having to work with Star Trek tech to accomplish a goal, Scotty, obviously. If you mean both having to work with Firefly tech to accomplish a goal, Kaylee… assuming it’s the kind of thing that can be won in less than an hour, otherwise Scotty will have figured it all out by then. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/9 "2009-09-08T22:17:42Z")
In a whiskey guzzling contest, Scotty wins. On the other hand, Kaylee wins when it comes to eating strawberries. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/10 "2009-09-08T22:19:32Z")
Scotty was actually pretty nice-looking, except for all those tattoos. She sure could weld, though. But, for whatever reason, they dropped her from Mythbusters after the first season. So, Kaylee. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/11 "2009-09-08T22:20:24Z")
Swimwear competition. With slightly warm lubricating oil. ---
**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/12 "2009-09-09T00:44:18Z")
Scotty would multiply his repair estimate by a factor of four and spend the extra time drinking Kaylee under the table. +1 Scotty ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/13 "2009-09-09T00:47:54Z")
Kaylee’s hotter than Scotty by a wide margin. By TV rules, that lets her win 99% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/14 "2009-09-09T01:16:04Z")
> [@](#): > > On the other hand, Kaylee wins when it comes to eating strawberries. I’ll be in my bunk. As far as engineering goes, Scotty was more concerned with making himself seem impressive, while Kaylee was more concerned about actually keeping her ship in the sky. Sure, Scotty did his job, but it was an easy job, which only seemed hard because he told everyone it was, and nobody knew better. Kaylee, though, was working with (no offense) a pile of junk, and a captain who wouldn’t budget her even basic supplies and maintenance. That catalyzer that broke in _Out of Gas_? She’d been complaining about it since the pilot, and Mal was too tight-fisted to get a replacement. Did we ever see Scotty recognize that a part was failing, but then manage to keep it working for months without replacement anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/15 "2009-09-09T01:47:43Z")
He did pretty well with a crashed shuttle and a faltering transporter. It managed to keep him alive for multiple decades. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/16 "2009-09-09T01:53:24Z")
Man what is WITH all this Scotty hatred? See if YOU can realign the dilithium matrix with only have the necessary reactants and an immersion blender! ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/17 "2009-09-09T02:34:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Sure, Scotty did his job, but it was an easy job, which only seemed hard because he told everyone it was, and nobody knew better. No way. He padded his estimates to keep up his reputation as a miracle worker, but even if he didn’t, he’d still be known as a maker of wonders. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/18 "2009-09-09T03:14:34Z")
Scotty ALSO had a lot of help in assistant engineers, and could at worst call to Starfleet for advice or supplies. Kaylee had just herself-nobody else on the ship knew squat about keeping it going. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/19 "2009-09-09T04:07:54Z")
Kaylee has tits. Game over. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329/20 "2009-09-09T05:23:18Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > You know the drill. Who’d win? They’d get along famously and thus, everyone wins. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scotty-vs-kaylee/509329.md?page=2)