# SCREAM Chick is back **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 6, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222 "2003-02-06T16:13:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/21 "2003-02-06T19:13:04Z")
I don’t get it. There’s arson doesn’t serve any useful purpose other than as a setup for the burned fireman in the hospital. Chick could have cut out about half the frames in that comic and gone straight to the prosletyzing. And no “HAW! HAW!” either. From now on, I think Chick should continue to do the illustrations, and let Fred Phelps do the writing. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/22 "2003-02-06T19:16:37Z")
I pity I don’t personally believe in a Hell. If it were anything but a religious device of coercion – I know _exactly_ where Jack Chick would end up for something like this. Vile bastard! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![martin\_ibn\_martin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@martin\_ibn\_martin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/martin_ibn_martin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/23 "2003-02-06T20:04:23Z")
That the arsonists had a vaguely semetic cast to their features? Perhaps Italian…Ya never know with those Papists. Gotta love Jack Martin ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/24 "2003-02-06T20:09:41Z")
I don’t think that “friend” of the fireman’s has gotten enough of a bashing. What kind of a twat would invite a douchebag like Bob to come in a preach at some poor guy who got hurt while trying to save somebody else from a fire. And there is no preamble at all from Bob. No pat on the back, no real greeting, he just launches into his obnoxious little harrangue. And what ineffectual little marks Chick creates for these things. No one ever questions anything Bob says or challenges him in any way. Not to mention they all act like they’ve never heard of Christianity before. Is there anyone in Chick’s little fantasy world who does not just fall over and convert after two minutes of idiotic prosetylization? Wouldn’t you love to see the fireman bounce a bedpan off Bob’s head? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/25 "2003-02-06T20:37:39Z")
Which one? Neve Campbell, or Courteney Cox? Drew Barrymore? I don’t mind any of them that much . . . What? Oh . . . never mind . . . ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/26 "2003-02-06T21:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*Wouldn’t you love to see the fireman bounce a bedpan off Bob’s head? \*\* As long as it was full. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/27 "2003-02-06T21:33:52Z")
The richman went to hell because he was a jackass who treated Lazarus like shit. Not because he didn’t believe in Jesus. Remember-he DID believe in God? Besides, what did Fred do? What about Sonny, the other arsonist? H’uh? This one doesn’t even make common sense. It goes nowhere, and it leaves us hanging with the arsonists! ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/28 "2003-02-06T21:58:51Z")
> [@](#): > > or, even better, the most sublime Subgenius Epopt ever, extracting funds from the pinkest of the fundies, and producing an unprecedented volume of quality bulldada. My thoughts exactly, \*\* LM \*\*! We’ll know this is the case if “Bob” ever shows up smoking a pipe. If only it were so… ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/29 "2003-02-06T22:01:56Z")
My favorite part: “You know about hell?” “No, But Jesus does!” That’s it, Jesus is Satan. I always wondered about that and now Jack Chick _learned me good, real good._ ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/30 "2003-02-06T22:23:20Z")
HAHA! Now you have **no excuse!** ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/31 "2003-02-06T22:24:23Z")
“But Lord, you can’t throw me in the fiery pit! I’ve got a nasty verruca. I have a note from Matron!” ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/32 "2003-02-06T22:26:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kingpengvin \* > \*\* > And having two guys so dumb that one would likely set himself on fire leaving a body… Dang he’s a genius. \*\* Ha, you say. They just had a case here in El Paso of a moron who tried to burn down his wife’s divorce attorney’s office, but the only thing he immolated was himself. D’oh. I expect we’ll see him in the Darwin Awards. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/33 "2003-02-06T22:34:58Z")
Please note: these are only partial lyrics . . . some of you may know the rest – O Lord, please don’t burn us. Don’t grill or toast Your flock. Don’t put us on the barbecue Or simmer us in stock. Don’t braise or bake or boil us Or stir-fry us in a wok. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/34 "2003-02-06T22:47:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Miskatonic \* > \*\*Bob Williams, Angel of Death, Trader of Misery. > > When he shows up, people DIE! \*\* Watch as we pair him up with Terry Tate, Office Linebacker. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/35 "2003-02-06T22:55:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by asterion \* > \*\*Watch as we pair him up with Terry Tate, Office Linebacker. 😃 \*\* SUBSCRIBE ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/36 "2003-02-06T23:05:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*I’m sorry, that was lame. Also unrealistic: if Bob Williams turned up at my hospital bed, I’d probably succumb to my injuries. \*\* Well, it a visit from the Master _would_ make you look forward to the next round of skin grafts. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/37 "2003-02-06T23:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Miskatonic \* > \*\*SUBSCRIBE \*\* Huh? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/38 "2003-02-07T00:24:50Z")
“_ **What??** _ Do you _ **realize** _ what you are saying? Are you telling me Jesus is _ **God?** _” Yeah, because he has grown to adulthood without ever having heart that stated before. “At the end, Jesus Christ will sit on His gigantic White Throne,” facing the billions who died in their sins." Gigantic White Throne, eh? heh. Sorta looks like a Barcalounger to me. “Pray to Jesus and Repent. Beg Him for forgiveness for your filthy thoughts and life.” WTF? Why was he visiting some random fireman in the hospital anyway? And what the hell did he know of this guy’s life? How did he know he wasn’t already a Christian, for example? I like the squirrels, too 😃 I love the threat at the end: “The only way to wipe that record clean is to do what Fred did. You can’t squirm out of this… you really got nailed when you read this story. You’ve got _ **no excuse** _ now! Haw! Haw! Heaven or Hell? The choice is YOURS!” ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/39 "2003-02-07T00:49:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \*“At the end, Jesus Christ will sit on His gigantic White Throne,” facing the billions who died in their sins." > > Gigantic White Throne, eh? heh. Sorta looks like a Barcalounger to me. Or a toilet! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/scream-chick-is-back/153222/40 "2003-02-07T00:56:39Z")
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