# screaming kids - really? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2011, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525 "2011-09-25T04:03:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/181 "2011-10-07T13:47:38Z")
I have reprimanded children on many occasions. Twice I have gotten a nasty, nasty response back, a response I would never have said in front of their kids! It happens, but not as often as you’d expect. Usually you just get a) an apology from the parents, but these parents are usually on top of the kids anyway, b) a sullen glare, and c) they snatch their kids away from you or say something like “Don’t you correct MY kids!” ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/182 "2011-10-09T05:13:52Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > In my experience, having kids, being around kids and having a low tolerance for misbehaving kids, most kids are pretty nice. You definitely see problems here or there, or catch a parent in a moment of inattention, but the vast majority of families I’ve lived near or interacted with routinely out in public are trying raise good kids. I don’t agree with many of their choices (junk food, excessive tv etc), but most are trying hard to do right. I’ve never got screamed at by a parent, with the exception of some of the nut job parents in Little League when my hubby coached. > > And I’m not in Canada. Apparently, there are a few places in the US were parents are generally still doing a good job. You should feel lucky you live in one of them. > [@even\_sven](#): > > Sorry, I was just pointing out a general flaw in your plan. Why advocate for pro-active problems solving when you have the option to sit around fuming about how horrible and unfair the world is? :rolleyes: Right. I should go over and complain to a bunch of drunken people who have already had at least two other neighbors talk to them about the noise their kids make. Gee, I wonder why that might not go well? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/183 "2011-10-09T05:20:34Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Canadians are great people - I married one - but you don’t seem to realize that your reality isn’t the rest of the world’s reality. Neither is your street. Based on what you’re typing here and a few years ago, your problem seems to be with one house on one street. Extrapolating that out into being representative of the world is, to say the least, illogical. You have drunks across the street. The problem is not the world at large. The problem is the house across the street. I mean, I have friends and family in the USA and they don’t seem to have maniacs on their streets, either. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/184 "2011-10-09T05:23:08Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > :rolleyes: Right. I should go over and complain to a bunch of drunken people who have already had at least two other neighbors talk to them about the noise their kids make. Gee, I wonder why that might not go well? Go on, give it a try. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/185 "2011-10-09T05:29:41Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Neither is your street. Based on what you’re typing here and a few years ago, your problem seems to be with one house on one street. Extrapolating that out into being representative of the world is, to say the least, illogical. > > You have drunks across the street. The problem is not the world at large. The problem is the house across the street. > > I mean, I have friends and family in the USA and they don’t seem to have maniacs on their streets, either. I take it that you haven’t noticed any of the posts here talking about similar experiences that other people have had? Also, the people across the street are definitely not the only irresponsible parents I’ve had to put up with, they are merely the ones that infringe on me the most often. > [@Muffin](#): > > Go on, give it a try. How about if you just go be a jerk some place else. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/186 "2011-10-09T05:41:14Z")
What, not willing to meet and discuss with your neighbours? Pity. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/187 "2011-10-09T05:58:15Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > What, not willing to meet and discuss with your neighbours? Pity. Go be a jerk some place else. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/188 "2011-10-09T06:06:37Z")
Hey, they might give you a beer and a bounce. After all, if you can’t beat them, join them. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/189 "2011-10-09T10:48:19Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Go be a jerk some place else. You repeat this quite often, although it’s apparent that your behavior is the most jerkish. Mods, please note that I’m not calling this person who might appear to be a jerk a jerk, but the behavior is definitely jerkish, and it’s the behavior that I’m calling jerkish and not the person-whom-I’m-not-calling-a-jerk. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/190 "2011-10-09T13:36:27Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Apparently, there are a few places in the US were parents are generally still doing a good job. You should feel lucky you live in one of them. Oh, please. I’ve lived in So Cal, St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Central-Southern CT with my family. There is not “one place” that does it well and the rest a cesspool of “the cult of the child”. As I’ve said in this thread, I firmly believe most parents aim to do well. Parents are human and kids are still developing, so no one’s perfect and why should they have to be? Some parents really don’t care and some care but lack the skills. But most families? Aiming to raise nice, productive kids. Your perception is the outlier, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/191 "2011-10-09T18:56:29Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > \ > > Your perception is the outlier, not mine. It’s easy to understand where that perception might be coming from, though, since it is the ignorant assholes that people notice. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/192 "2011-10-10T04:57:57Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > You repeat this quite often, although it’s apparent that your behavior is the most jerkish. Mods, please note that I’m not calling this person who might appear to be a jerk a jerk, but the behavior is definitely jerkish, and it’s the behavior that I’m calling jerkish and not the person-whom-I’m-not-calling-a-jerk. Um, it’s jerkish behavior to not want to be harassed? > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Oh, please. I’ve lived in So Cal, St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Central-Southern CT with my family. There is not “one place” that does it well and the rest a cesspool of “the cult of the child”. As I’ve said in this thread, I firmly believe most parents aim to do well. Parents are human and kids are still developing, so no one’s perfect and why should they have to be? Some parents really don’t care and some care but lack the skills. But most families? Aiming to raise nice, productive kids. > > Your perception is the outlier, not mine. Apparently your observations in a variety of places is more valid than my observations in a variety of places. Shrug. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > It’s easy to understand where that perception might be coming from, though, since it is the ignorant assholes that people notice. Yes, there is that, but what I’ve noticed is that there seem to be far fewer ignorant asshole sightings in some areas than in others! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/193 "2011-10-10T10:40:34Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Um, it’s jerkish behavior to not want to be harassed? > > Apparently your observations in a variety of places is more valid than my observations in a variety of places. Shrug. Your observations are your own. It’s your conclusions I have an issue with. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/194 "2011-10-10T13:46:08Z")
**curlcoat** , I get that you’re nervous at the prospect of confronting kids, but it’s really pretty easy. Kids size you up the instant they see you. If you act like you don’t know they exist, well, you don’t exist to them, either. The minute you acknowledge them - with a look, a word (doesn’t have to be terse, it can be a hello) - they realize you have noticed them. You can then say, “Hey, keep it down,” and they will respond. (Granted they may not keep it down long, but they won’t just blow you off.) I grew up in a low SES neighborhood and go back there quite a bit, and the kids are often going apeshit in the supermarket. I just look at them, and very occasionally, I tell them, “Use your inside voice” WHILE LOOKING AT THEM. And that almost always works. **Muffin** may have been being snarky but I endorse this strategy 100%. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/195 "2011-10-10T14:33:54Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > I take it that you haven’t noticed any of the posts here talking about similar experiences that other people have had? I don’t see what that has to do with it. Yes, people have had similar experiences, but none are complaining about what happens **on your street**. The fact that other people have from time to time seen misbehaving children does not mean it’s an epidemic, any more than the fact I’ve seen misbehaving dogs and shitty dog owners - on many occasions - means there’s a serious problem in this country with out of control dogs. If I found myself on a street where dogs were running wild, especially out of one house, I would not assume that to be the case everywhere. > [@](#): > > How about if you just go be a jerk some place else. [MODERATING] How about if you restrict personal insults to the Pit. RickJay Moderator ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/196 "2011-10-10T18:17:40Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Your observations are your own. It’s your conclusions I have an issue with. So is it that you don’t believe that there were children screaming for hours across the street, that you have trouble believing that any parent would allow that, especially after having been asked at least twice to not let it happen? > [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > **curlcoat** , I get that you’re nervous at the prospect of confronting kids, but it’s really pretty easy. Kids size you up the instant they see you. If you act like you don’t know they exist, well, you don’t exist to them, either. The minute you acknowledge them - with a look, a word (doesn’t have to be terse, it can be a hello) - they realize you have noticed them. You can then say, “Hey, keep it down,” and they will respond. (Granted they may not keep it down long, but they won’t just blow you off.) > > I grew up in a low SES neighborhood and go back there quite a bit, and the kids are often going apeshit in the supermarket. I just look at them, and very occasionally, I tell them, “Use your inside voice” WHILE LOOKING AT THEM. And that almost always works. > > **Muffin** may have been being snarky but I endorse this strategy 100%. What is a low SES neighborhood? I have no trouble confronting kids, I’ve done it plenty of times and it usually works out well if for no other reason than I look like everyone’s grandmother. I just have no desire to create what is most likely going to end up being a really bad situation. Maybe you missed it, but in order to have said anything at all to those kids, I’d have had to go right up to the bounce house and stuck my head inside for them to hear me. Their parents and other adults are right there in the house and yard, drinking and playing music and these folks should already know that their screaming kids are upsetting their neighbors. Do you think that would go well? > [@RickJay](#): > > I don’t see what that has to do with it. Yes, people have had similar experiences, but none are complaining about what happens **on your street**. > > The fact that other people have from time to time seen misbehaving children does not mean it’s an epidemic, any more than the fact I’ve seen misbehaving dogs and shitty dog owners - on many occasions - means there’s a serious problem in this country with out of control dogs. If I found myself on a street where dogs were running wild, especially out of one house, I would not assume that to be the case everywhere. I have no idea what you are responding to here as I have never said that misbehaving children is an epidemic. I think the closest I’ve come to it is either when I’ve said that some areas are worse than others, or that it seems to be getting more common. Neither is close to being an epidemic. [/quote] [MODERATING] How about if you restrict personal insults to the Pit. RickJay Moderator [/QUOTE] OK, just so I’m clear. It’s OK for her to follow me around and troll the heck out of me, but I can’t tell her she is being a jerk? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/197 "2011-10-10T21:20:37Z")
OK, this thing is inflatable. Like a balloon? Got a BB gun? ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/198 "2011-10-10T21:26:07Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > OK, this thing is inflatable. Like a balloon? Got a BB gun? Heh, already been suggested - no BB gun, only shotguns and there would most likely be, er, collateral damage. As it is, I will be gone every weekend until Nov so if they get the thing again, it will be the neighbors’ problem. After that, it should be too cold, at least for them to do it all night. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/199 "2011-10-10T21:55:17Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > …only shotguns and there would most likely be, er, collateral damage. Not even I would suggest that. Hell, you’d get caught for sure! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525/200 "2011-10-10T22:37:24Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > So is it that you don’t believe that there were children screaming for hours across the street, that you have trouble believing that any parent would allow that, especially after having been asked at least twice to not let it happen? For goodness sakes, no. My reply was to your assertion that I live in some magical and unique place where parents care and that your experience- parents who ignore their child’s bad behavior- is the norm. Despite my stating at least a couple times in this thread that in my experience, while there are parents who don’t care about how how they’re children act, most do. This idea that there is “the cult of child” with parents just rolling over to never reprimand their misbehaving children is just not my experience. Having kids I end up around lots of families and most are doing a fine job with occasional lapses. Some parents suck. Most actually do want to raise good, decent kids. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screaming-kids-really/597525.md?page=11)