# Screen name advice for lurkers! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 24, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958 "2005-07-24T22:35:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/1 "2005-07-24T22:35:30Z")
I can feel your presence, lurkers! You are thinking of joining but first need a screen name. I invite other Dopers to join me in offering cautionary and suggestionary advice (but remember that any names you suggest are free to be used by any lurker. The early bird gets the worm!). Point the first: Make sure your screen name doesn’t suck. The following names could ruin your posting experience at SDMB for a variety of self-evident reasons: \*\*Cautionary Names Che Forchever Drunk Freemason Bush/Cheney '08 Vulva Con Carne\*\* Wow–don’t go there! On the other hand, the following excellent screen names are very likely to facilitate a rewarding and pleasurable posting lifestyle: \*\*Suggestionary Names Romulus Augustulus Swiss Hard Ben Jonson Ursine Sister 10 Loft Nutriceutical\*\* You get the idea! Pick one of these names, stop lurking, and get with the pic! Dopers, it’s your turn: Cautionary and suggestionary names, please. ---
**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/2 "2005-07-24T23:52:32Z")
**Cautionary Names** **The Royal Wee** **Dick Canopy** **Cite for Sore Ayes** **Mouthy McFrothalot** **Irregardless I Could Care Less** **The Penis Mightier Than the Sword** **ROTFLMAO LOL cul8r** Hmmm, can’t really think of any \*\*suggestionary \*\*ones at the moment. Except of course **Aeschines** , but I understand some doorknob already took that one. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/3 "2005-07-25T00:17:03Z")
**Cautionary** I Hate Douglas Adams Future Trophy Wife of Bush ArseFucker and/or Horsecunt Liberals Hate America Once. In the 1960’s. For 20 Minutes. 1920’s St-…mm…nevermind. Cookies are for Queers. **Suggested** Generic Discordia/Illuminatus/Hitchhiker/Hobbit/Dune/Other “Cult Classic” Sci-Fi Name I FUCKING LOVE CATS and/or DOGS Desperate, Single, Looking ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/4 "2005-07-25T00:32:41Z")
**Cautionary** 1. Channelin’ Jesus 2. Here to Teach 3. Smear the Queer 4. Hookup Lookup ---
**Author:** ![wolfstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d6d6ee/32.png) [@wolfstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfstu)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/5 "2005-07-25T01:45:09Z")
Cautionary \*\*Vote CCRAP! Ex-Gay Televangelist ViAg4MAN@megadealz.tk Arnold Wrinkleweed rm -v bin.lib Belligerent Bridgedweller You\_Are\_Educated\_Stupid Three Men and a Maybe\*\* Suggstulary \*\*Robotic Floor Vac l’Hôpital Rules! Messier Object 35 The Politics of Dancing That Nosy Neigbor Lady Conservative Joulery Eurocratic Cabbagelets The Naked Ape The Right Honourable Charlie The Lights of Zetar Zonderpants\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/6 "2005-07-25T02:09:33Z")
Suggested: \*\*The Big If Spoiler\*\* Cautionary: \*\*Snappy Ringtone Groin Stray Cats Must Die Restriction Fragment Length Polymorphism Bushco I’m Having Your Baby Foreskin Preservationist\*\* ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/7 "2005-07-25T02:11:08Z")
Nitpick: it’s nutr **a** ceutical. Just sayin’. Avoid any really long names, anything sexually explicit, violent, or just viscerally disgusting, and anything alphanumeric (unless it’s well-known, like “THX1138”). And please avoid the awkwardly juvenile or babytalk-ish. If it’s something your four-year-old could come up with, it’s probably in that category. And be mindful of the sorts of categorical assumptions your name may encourage re. gender (especially), but also race, class, educational level, age and emotional maturity (or the lack of it), etc. In my case, people often assume I’m male, even though I dropped the “Bartleby” bit and often refer to myself as being female. I think the regular posters basically know that now, but newbies will often get it wrong, and I usually don’t bother to issue a correction. By way of example, there used to be a poster named “Vinnie Virginslayer”. Even though I genuinely liked the guy’s posts for the most part and shared his interest in football in particular (though not the Steelers), I also had to struggle to ignore the disturbing implications of his _nom-de-keyboard_, as you can imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/8 "2005-07-25T05:42:51Z")
Suggestionary: I don’t know if Admin would approve it, but I’ve always been fond of **Throbbing** Wouldn’t it look cool to see **Throbbing** [sup]Member[/sup] in the upper left? It’s right up there with **Heaving Bosoms**. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/9 "2005-07-25T06:26:20Z")
In that vein, I would suggest: Magna Charter Member ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screen-name-advice-for-lurkers/313958/10 "2005-07-25T06:40:34Z")
I like that playing on the description idea! Not that you should do it or anything, but you could sign up as Heavy Metal, behave boorishly, and then you could be: Heavy Metal [sup]BANNED[/sup]