# Screw Coronovirus: what can we do about the current toilet paper crisis? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2020, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041 "2020-03-22T17:39:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/61 "2020-03-28T22:03:02Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > One thing that’s struck me about this mess is that the Facebook posts ridiculing those “other people” hoarding TP started _before_ it actually started disappearing from shelves. I think those posts are what triggered the panic, and are what perpetuates it now. When people are barraged with social media posts poking fun at people who clean out the shelves at stores complete with pictures of the empty shelves, the natural takeaway is going to be “If I see some on the shelf I better grab it while the grabbing’s good.” Heck, my wife is pressuring me to grab some if I see it even though we aren’t in danger of running out for at least a couple of months. > > So what can we do? \*\*Stop posting about it! \*\*You’re just telling people they should be hoarding TP. We probably have a couple of weeks’ worth, and I wasn’t at all concerned about restocking _until I read this thread!_:eek: I went to the store yesterday, but I was looking for meat and produce, not TP. I was disappointed that there were no pads for my Swiffer WetJet or for Swiffer Wet. I really want to mop my floors, but I don’t want to buy a mop or crawl on hands and knees to scrub. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/62 "2020-03-28T22:41:10Z")
There is plenty here in Kansas City. But to the OP, you can always do “sh#t and shower” meaning poop and then clean off in the shower. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/63 "2020-03-28T22:44:38Z")
To be honest, TP was never in terrible abundance. I remember years ago when I worked at WalMart I worked in that department and it got restocked maybe twice a day and we could easily run out if no shipment. TP is a cheap price leader so we were not making any money on it. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/64 "2020-03-28T23:00:19Z")
I have no idea (well, only a rough one) of how much TP I have in the house. All I know is, it’s a lot, because I buy it at Costco a 90-minute drive away. Seven or eight weeks ago, before things got crazy but it was predictable that it would, I made a Costco run and, even though I knew I had a nearly full package at home I bought another one. Now I’m curious. Going to go count. (I’m gonna guess …50 rolls?) I’ll report back when I know. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/65 "2020-03-28T23:05:48Z")
Oh no! It’s only 39 rolls! (Somehow, I think I’ll survive anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/66 "2020-03-28T23:15:29Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I don’t qualify as a senior (not yet, anyway)… Don’t tell the manager of my store, but technically, I don’t either. I turn 65 in October. Fortunately, although he was standing out in front of the store, he wasn’t checking IDs, and I guess my thinning, all-white hair was persuasive enough to let me pass. Our bidet arrived a few days ago, and I’ll install it tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/67 "2020-03-28T23:30:43Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > **Piper** eyes **Spoons** warily … Oh-oh. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. 🙂 > [@commasense](#): > > Don’t tell the manager of my store, but technically, I don’t either. I turn 65 in October. Fortunately, although he was standing out in front of the store, he wasn’t checking IDs, and I guess my thinning, all-white hair was persuasive enough to let me pass. I get the same treatment at a local liquor store. I get the seniors’ discount, but they’ve never bothered to check my ID. I hope I don’t look that old, but I guess I do. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/68 "2020-03-28T23:33:46Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > Store I went to Friday was much the same. On the other hand, the paper towel section was empty: seems the great unwashed have realized that COVID-19 symptoms don’t (typically) include diarrhea, but they’re going to be cleaning stuff much more than they’re used to. Why don’t they just use something reusable for things like wiping down counters? We do that anyway except for really gross things like cat puke on the floor. There are a couple bags of worn-out T-shirts, etc. that we save for cleanup rags. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/69 "2020-03-29T02:55:04Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > Hallelujah! Restocked! > > Our local supermarket has initiated senior-only shopping from 7 to 8 am, so I got up early yesterday to check it out, and they were letting everyone buy up to two packages of TP. I decided to take only one 12-pack, since as I mentioned above, we already have 37 rolls at home, and I wanted to exercise (and model) moderation. > … > [@Spoons](#): > > I don’t qualify as a senior (not yet, anyway), but my local supermarket has the same seniors’ hours. So I arrived at my local supermarket at 8:01 one morning last week. There was no TP. > … > [@commasense](#): > > … I decided to take only one 12-pack, since as I mentioned above, we already have 37 rolls at home, … > … Alrighty, then. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/70 "2020-03-29T03:41:15Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Alrighty, then. Give him a break! He said he only had enough to last his household _135_ days before he scored this! Good thing he got a bidet to ensure he’ll even last that long! ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/71 "2020-03-29T05:17:03Z")
**Spoons** , PM me your address and I’ll mail you a couple of rolls. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/72 "2020-03-29T05:33:08Z")
> [@susan](#): > > “Roll” isn’t a useful unit unless we know how many sheets are in each roll. Also whether it’s single, fouble, mega, etc.; even that varies among different brands. Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/73 "2020-03-29T05:35:35Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > I think our northern stock of toilet paper is safe from the Georgians. How about the Oregonians? We’re quite a bit closer. Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/74 "2020-03-29T07:05:46Z")
We’re going to start experimenting. There’s the fluffy white dog that lives nearby, we could use her in a pinch. And while the grocery store across the street is now usually out of toilet paper, they do have loads and loads of these really soft dinner rolls. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/75 "2020-03-29T08:09:34Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > **Spoons** , PM me your address and I’ll mail you a couple of rolls. 😃 Thanks, but I think I’m okay for now. I was at the supermarket tonight, and they had a stock. It was John Wayne, but they had some. I think I’m fine until the good stuff comes back. But thanks again for the offer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/76 "2020-03-29T10:47:24Z")
Shelves in the Philippines are overflowing with unsold TP. People here are first finding out about the role of TP in western culture, and it is furnishing some needed comic relief. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/77 "2020-03-29T10:58:29Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > But to the OP, you can always do “sh#t and shower” meaning poop and then clean off in the shower. It’s all pipes! > [@Spoons](#): > > I get the same treatment at a local liquor store. I get the seniors’ discount, but they’ve never bothered to check my ID. I hope I don’t look that old, but I guess I do. Some stores consider you a senior at 55. I got a senior discount card at one store when I was that age. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/78 "2020-03-29T13:36:57Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > We’re going to start experimenting. **There’s the fluffy white dog that lives nearby** , we could use her in a pinch. And while the grocery store across the street is now usually out of toilet paper, they do have loads and loads of these really soft dinner rolls. [Emphasis added] You might want to take a gander at what the Master — prescient as always — [said](https://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/572/what-did-people-use-before-toilet-paper-was-invented/) some years back (particularly the quotation from _Gargantua_). You’ll never look at some things the same again. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/79 "2020-03-29T15:20:22Z")
> [@ottodafe](#): > > [emphasis added] > > you might want to take a **gander** at what the master — prescient as always — [said](https://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/572/what-did-people-use-before-toilet-paper-was-invented/) some years back (particularly the quotation from _gargantua_). You’ll never look at some things the same again. iswydt. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041/80 "2020-03-29T21:20:56Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > If things get bad then things like kleenex, paper towels and wet wipes can be used, then disposed of in the garbage. I believe some sewers are already seeing backups of people flushing things other than TP down the toilet. The thing is, though, when TP is scarce so do other paper products tend to be, especially Kleenex. What’s the next thing you reach for when you want to blow your nose and you’re out of Kleenex? Toilet paper. We’ll soon be into the allergy season, and every sheet of Kleenex you have on hand for nose-blowing is that much more TP you can leave for its oeiginalkt intended purpose. Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-coronovirus-what-can-we-do-about-the-current-toilet-paper-crisis/850041.md?page=5)