# Screw cotton and the ugly plant it rode in on. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582 "2005-12-14T14:14:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/1 "2005-12-14T14:14:37Z")
I am fed up. I have tried cold water. I have tried other detergents. I have tried air-drying and stretching the fuck out of the things. Nothing works. Every time I buy a new shirt, it’s completely fucking ruined after one use, because it shrivels up like George Costanza’s nutsack upon contact with a single drop of water, causing my gut to hang out the bottom. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Go around looking for shirts that are six sizes too big? I refuse to wear polyester. That shit makes me itch. So let me in on the big fucking secret and tell me how to get cotton fucking shirts and make them NOT FUCKING SHRINK TO A SIZE UNFIT FOR A MALNOURISHED MONKEY INFANT. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/2 "2005-12-14T14:20:57Z")
How odd. I buy 100% cotton all the time and have never had this problem. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/3 "2005-12-14T14:24:29Z")
:dubious: a. Don’t buy cotton. Try linen instead (doesn’t shrink as much). Or spandex (stretches to fit) (yeah, that’s a good look…), or b. buy them oversized and let them shrink to fit, or c. deal with it. Cotton shrinks. Life goes on. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/4 "2005-12-14T14:31:22Z")
Cold water, hang to dry. I’ve never had major shrinkage problems. Your gut hangs out? They make long variations in most larger sizes. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/5 "2005-12-14T14:38:46Z")
Get a smaller gut. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/6 "2005-12-14T14:48:29Z")
Let’s emphasize the real answer once again. Cold water, hang to dry. Heat is bad for cotton, shrinkwise. But it will still shrink a little bit anyway. Basically, if the shirt fits perfectly in the store, it won’t once it’s washed. But you don’t need to buy 6 sizes too big, just one. If you use cold water and hang to dry. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/7 "2005-12-14T15:28:19Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Let’s emphasize the real answer once again. Cold water, hang to dry. Heat is bad for cotton, shrinkwise. But it will still shrink a little bit anyway. Basically, if the shirt fits perfectly in the store, it won’t once it’s washed. But you don’t need to buy 6 sizes too big, just one. > > If you use cold water and hang to dry. I’m not sure I even agree with needing to buy one size larger. All of my shirts are 100 percent corron, and all fit pretty much the same as they did when I bought them. My secret? Well, I use cold water and hang to dry. 😉 Oh, and you might want to look into getting an iron. You’re going to need it. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/8 "2005-12-14T15:32:57Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > Get a smaller gut. That’s a good suggestion and it remains an ongoing project. Some progress has been made but it takes time. I wonder why they don’t sell cotton garments pre-shrunk so one doesn’t have to deal with this. Unfortunately for me opportunities for air-drying are slim because I must use a laundromat and it’s pretty damn cold outside these days anyway. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/9 "2005-12-14T15:57:46Z")
In order for garments not to end up all goofy-looking when they shrink, you need to shrink the pieces individually before assembling the garment, which causes them to unravel, or wash the uncut cloth, which would require a really huge washing machine for any noticeable length of cloth. I’ve made clothes for the SCA out of silk noil, and we pre-shrunk it by washing it before cutting it out. From that point on, it was machine washable, because it was done shrinking and more machine washing wouldn’t change the fit. This is impractical for large-scale operations. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/10 "2005-12-14T16:00:59Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Unfortunately for me opportunities for air-drying are slim because I must use a laundromat and it’s pretty damn cold outside these days anyway. ☹ Take a shirt out of the washer. Fold it in three, lengthwise, with the arms behind the back. Tightly roll it up, starting with the collar. Take it home, put it on a hanger, and hang it on the shower curtain bar. Will still need ironing, but not much. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/11 "2005-12-14T16:09:58Z")
Are these dress shirts? Get your dress shirts laundered. You’ll never make them look right at home unless you’ve got one of those clamshell presses and all. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/12 "2005-12-14T16:11:52Z")
I’m absolutely puzzled. I wear 100% cotton shirts to work every day, and have never had serious shrinking problems. I wash in warm water and dry on medium or low heat. Air drying? Ha! Are all your shirts of a particular brand? Might that brand… er… how shall I put this… be more “value oriented” than others? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/13 "2005-12-14T16:17:32Z")
No offense, but are you not aware that you’re _supposed_ to buy cotton clothes a tad big, since they shrink a tad the first time you wear them? ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/14 "2005-12-14T16:29:44Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > I’m absolutely puzzled. I wear 100% cotton shirts to work every day, and have never had serious shrinking problems. I wash in warm water and dry on medium or low heat. Air drying? Ha! I’m with you. Wash in warm, throw those bad boys in the dryer, hang them up when they’re dry, put them on when I get the urge. They’ve never NOT fit. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/15 "2005-12-14T16:32:42Z")
To avoid shrinkage, I’m moving this thread out of the heat and agitation of the Pit and onto the gently swaying clothesline of MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/16 "2005-12-14T16:39:14Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Are these dress shirts? Get your dress shirts laundered. You’ll never make them look right at home unless you’ve got one of those clamshell presses and all. These are mostly cotton polo shirts, actually. I’m far too important to wear dress shirts or anything else that requires laundering by trained professionals. (But then again my recent experiences make me question my own competence in this field.) ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/17 "2005-12-14T16:42:01Z")
Humans have been wearing cotton for millenia, and you are just now getting around to bitchin’ about it now? Come on man, get with the program. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/18 "2005-12-14T19:06:46Z")
I have some net frames that work a treat for drying clothes – you lay 'em flat to dry, plus the frames (PVC and netting) can be disassembled to stuff under the bed. This is because I’ve found that hangers tend to stretch the shoulders of whatever article of clothing I hang on them wet. ☹ That said, RIGHT ON MY BROTHER! Cotton’s a bitch. I keep having to buy long jeans and I’m a short girl. I used to be able to wear my jeans until they fell apart at the ass and knees, but no more. Now it’s just wearing them until my ass no longer fits into them due to washing. Linen as a substitute? Wrinkles like a mofo, IME, even with liberal applications of starch. ---
**Author:** ![EmeraldGrue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@EmeraldGrue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmeraldGrue)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/19 "2005-12-14T19:19:52Z")
You don’t need a clothesline to air-dry clothes, **friedo**. Just get one of those folding drying racks as seen [here](http://froogle.google.com/froogle_cluster?q=clothes+rack&pid=1933066167516694708&oid=6993972660609905162&btnG=Search+Froogle&lmode=&addr=&scoring=p). And regarding wrinkling - I just put wet clothes in the dryer for 5 minutes, then hang them to dry, and they don’t need ironing. Softens them up a bit, too. But if anyone has any better ideas for washing cotton I’d love to hear them. - **EmeraldGrue** , lifetime 100% cotton wearer ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582/20 "2005-12-15T18:22:24Z")
I’ve noticed that clothing bought from discount-style places shrinks _way_ more. Cotton shirts I’ve bought from Mervyn’s shrink like hell and sort of wad up upon themselves like the Nazgul King after Eowyn face-stabbed him. Cotton shirts I order from L. L. Bean keep their size and shape even after multiple trips through the dryer, so they’re worth the extra money, say I. Mr. brown has cotton shirts from L. L. Bean so old that they’re falling apart at the seams, but they never shrank up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-cotton-and-the-ugly-plant-it-rode-in-on/335582.md?page=2)