# Screw France
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [February 4, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792 "2003-02-04T21:28:21Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/21 "2003-02-04T23:42:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Neurotik \*
> \*\*
>
> Don’t mess with us, we’ll take away the Expos and, um…give them to Puerto Rico? \*\*
Didn’t someone already saddle Boston with them (the Expos, I mean…)?
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### Author:  [@Mothchunks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mothchunks)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/22 "2003-02-04T23:43:34Z")
If the Statue of Liberty were really French, she’d have hairy underarms.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [February 4, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/23 "2003-02-04T23:57:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mothchunks \*
> \*\*If the Statue of Liberty were really French, she’d have hairy underarms. \*\*
stereotype much, you ignorant xenophobe?
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/24 "2003-02-05T00:02:11Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Joe K \*
> \*\*Do they call them “French Letters” in France? \*\*
I believe the equivalent is _cap anglais_.
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### Author:  [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/25 "2003-02-05T00:05:17Z")
Oh, dear Lord. Mireille! Mireille! And that little girl with the boat.
Agh! Flashbacks to high school French.
:: prepares to begin singing _La Marseillaise_ ::
Would you care for a glass of kir, **Beagle**?
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### Author:  [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/26 "2003-02-05T00:06:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zoe \*
> \*\*I think that the U.S. should just surrender to the French. Think of the possibilities: Our vineyards would be magnificent. The language would be more melodious and our capital would be the most beautiful city in the world. Southerners would become wealthy. Oh! the sauces! the sauces! \*\*
You mean all those vineyards using California grapes? We have that already. If I had to surrender to a country based on the melodiousness of their language, I would pick the Portuguese or Welsh - I prefer English to French. Paris is hardly the most beautiful city in the world, and I don’t get the part about Southerners becoming wealthy.
Anyway, if the US has to surrender to any country, I prefer it to be Australia. That would be good times. Paul Hogan could be our president, and Steve Irwin could be Vice President. And Fosters beer and Outback steakhouses as far as the eye could see…aaaah, that would glorious. 😃
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/27 "2003-02-05T00:20:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> and I don’t get the part about Southerners becoming wealthy.
the south of France is extremely prosperous (with some exceptions).
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### Author:  [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/28 "2003-02-05T00:22:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Neurotik \*
> \*\*Don’t mess with us, we’ll take away the Expos and, um…give them to Puerto Rico? \*\*
I’m sure their 3 season-ticket holders will be crushed.
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/29 "2003-02-05T00:33:23Z")
[The Onion](http://www.theonion.com/onion3904/wdyt_3904.html) speaks out on this issue.
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### Author:  [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/30 "2003-02-05T00:45:56Z")
Hey, I think France has the balls that most nations lack. They do things their way, and even though I may disagree with some of their stances (we’re talking politics, not people), I respect that.
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### Author:  [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/31 "2003-02-05T01:04:13Z")
You know, last thread about sexual relations with an entire country or two, I brought up the same objection; but I am **still** confused about how to get the job done.
The logistics, man! The **LOGISTICS**!!!
Are we _all_ supposed to screw France? Are we talking geography here? Have some lucky ladies (and/or gentlemen, I suppose) straddling the Eiffel Tower? Should I toss it in the Louvre? I need answers!!
I guess this seems like a more feasible approach than Germany and France [licking one guy’s balls](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=158885&highlight=France+and+Germany), but I still just see it as a tactical nightmare.
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### Author:  [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/32 "2003-02-05T01:13:30Z")
If we surrender to France, I’ll have to learn how to say “Ya’ll come see us, ya heah?” in French–I doubt it’ll translate but maybe some a ya’ll international types can take a shot at it.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/33 "2003-02-05T01:31:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Zoe \*
> \*\*I think that the U.S. should just surrender to the French. Think of the possibilities: Our vineyards would be magnificent. The language would be more melodious and our capital would be the most beautiful city in the world. Southerners would become wealthy. Oh! the sauces! the sauces! \*\*
Oh, hell, we could do most of that just by moving the capitol to San Francisco. Napa Valley already has better wine than any French swill, San Francisco is ten times as beautiful as Paris, with a nicer climate to boot. And Spanish is far more lovely a language than French, which is the only language that even native speakers can’t pronounce correctly.
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### Author:  [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/34 "2003-02-05T01:34:33Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by An Arky \*
> \*\*Hey, I think France has the balls that most nations lack. \*\*
Pop quiz, hotshot…When you hear the words “cheese-eating surrender-monkeys”, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Exactly.
Ever wonder why?
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### Author:  [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/35 "2003-02-05T01:37:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by d\_redguy \*
> \*\*You know, last thread about sexual relations with an entire country or two, I brought up the same objection; but I am **still** confused about how to get the job done.
>
> The logistics, man! The **LOGISTICS**!!!
>
> Are we _all_ supposed to screw France? \*\*
You heard **SCSimmons** We’re going to do it one at a time, man, one at a time.
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### Author:  [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/36 "2003-02-05T01:40:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Buck The Diver \*
> Pop quiz, hotshot…When you hear the words “cheese-eating surrender-monkeys”, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Message board morons?
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### Author:  [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/37 "2003-02-05T01:42:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Buck The Diver \*
> \*\*Pop quiz, hotshot…When you hear the words “cheese-eating surrender-monkeys”, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
> \*\*
Elephants. What?
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### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/38 "2003-02-05T01:49:00Z")
Screw Pie
My want of pie has been a thorn in my side for way too long.
I say we leave, go to the store and add pie to our shopping list.
When come back, bring pie.
Hey Weebl, wake up and decide, you are either with me or against me. And, frankly, want pie now.
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### Author:  [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/39 "2003-02-05T01:49:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \*
> \*\*stereotype much, you ignorant xenophobe? \*\*
Whoosh much, oh humorless one?
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### Author:  [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-france/152792/40 "2003-02-05T02:06:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Buck The Diver \*
> **Pop quiz, hotshot…When you hear the words “cheese-eating surrender-monkeys”, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?**
Jingoistic chest-thumping morons attempting wit, only to display their ignorance and prejudice instead. But that’s just me.
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*Ever wonder why? \*\*
I guess it’s because jingoistic chest-thumping morons are so incredibly hard to shut up.
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