# Screw It, Or Me (Apologetic and Flirt Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642 "2001-03-20T00:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/41 "2001-03-20T04:21:50Z")
And yes, **Tequila** shall I paddle you first? **Arden**? Will you two just line up, rears raised, so I can swat both at one time, please? That’s it, nice and close to each other. ::Twack!:: ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/42 "2001-03-20T04:22:03Z")
Mmmmm, I love the smell of a foursome. Do I hear five? Seven? [sup]but I draw the line at penguins[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/43 "2001-03-20T04:25:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Back off UncleBill! \*\* Was that, “Back off, **UncleBill**!”, or “Back away from **UncleBill** , he’s mine!”? Just wanna be clear on this. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/44 "2001-03-20T04:27:20Z")
No, no. You boys have it backwards. _We_ are paddling _you_. And we’re also sharing. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/45 "2001-03-20T04:31:52Z")
…for you to use that term. :eek: OK, have at it, and have at each other! Just don’t be upset when I grab one of you and ravish you in the way a man can do. A guy can only handle so much… ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/46 "2001-03-20T04:31:55Z")
Gee thanks everyone…I just shot whiskey out my nose from laughing and it HURTS! _still laughing though_ :Flopping on the couch: /insert Ben Stein monotone voice/Oh. Baby. Do. Me. Now. I. Am. So. Hot. For. You. Give. It. To. Me. Hard./uninsert voice/ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/47 "2001-03-20T04:36:09Z")
All I’m spouting out my nose is Beer! But I’m almost nekkid, so that counts for something! [same voice] So. after the posts. can anyone tell me who got jiggy?.. anyone?.. anyone?[/same voice] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/48 "2001-03-20T04:37:38Z")
_purr_ Anything we can do for[sub]to[/sub]Tequila. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/49 "2001-03-20T04:38:42Z")
All I can say is… With you two girls wiggling your asses around like that, it just makes me want to grab you like bowling balls. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/50 "2001-03-20T04:54:11Z")
Stoli works for me. ::grabs bottle and drinks:: ::takes off vinyl trenchcoat to reveal her luscious naked body:: You know if there’s alcohol and groping hardygrrl’s in. I brought a riding crop w/ me…who’s been a bad doper? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/51 "2001-03-20T04:59:12Z")
Naw, not been bad (except for not looking up **TruePisces** when I was in Tampa last weekend) but a little slap and tickle never hurt, well not TOO much, anyway! ::takes Stoli from **hardygrrl** , pours it over her amble breats and licks it off:: ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/52 "2001-03-20T04:59:55Z")
::Brings in a big ole bottle of **Grey Goose** and takes a seat.:: This is getting interesting! ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/53 "2001-03-20T05:05:54Z")
… but I’m just going to trace this Vodka that got spilled here… :: moving down past breasts, sipping vodka out of navel, moving farther south :: but if you want to smack me a bit with that, feel free… I’m going to be busy trying to make you loose muscle control, however… :: begin eating :: [sub]several years ago, I actually knocked my ex out doing this… lets see what happens here… [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/54 "2001-03-20T05:06:13Z")
“amble breasts”? ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/55 "2001-03-20T05:09:53Z")
what I am eating, of course, in **hardygrrl** … Mmmmmm… I love doing this! :: begins tracing runes on **hardygrrls** thighs in vodka one handed, the other hand being used to assist in my oral fixation :: ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/56 "2001-03-20T05:10:16Z")
hardy? vinyl trenchcoat? riding crop? OOOOOOH BAYBEE!!! And, hey Arden…my breasts tend to “amble”…this way, that way and HEY my armpits look cozy! And by the way, UncleBill, answer your email! ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/57 "2001-03-20T05:12:42Z")
Amble or Ample? ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/58 "2001-03-20T05:18:48Z")
::The andyman sits on his “Grey Goose” for a couple minutes, waiting to see what happens. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/59 "2001-03-20T05:25:03Z")
Tristan …you don’t mind if I exploit my oral fixation? Don’t worry…I can do two things at once. 🙂 :: points at Uncle Bill:: Come over here and help a girl out ;). ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/60 "2001-03-20T05:32:58Z")
OK, hold it. Isn’t this thread supposed to be for **Tequila Mockingbird**? Everybody’s hooking up with **hardygrrl** , and poor **TM** ’s sitting it out! OK, 'Quila, where (how?) do you want me? I don’t have any fetish-type items, but I’m sure we can find something around here somewhere… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642.md?page=4)