# Screw It, Or Me (Apologetic and Flirt Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642 "2001-03-20T00:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/81 "2001-03-20T14:46:24Z")
What’ll I have? First woman on the bar gets a serious tongue-lashing! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/82 "2001-03-20T14:50:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamadryad \* > \*\*If I were still flirting, I would invite TM and AR to pull me along with them into the nearest walk-in closet, and I would eloquently demonstrate how a girl who can touch her tongue to her nose is more entertaining than a man who offers to TRY any time. > > If I were still flirting. But I’m not. \*\* Sorry - quick aside to **Hamadryad**. This was a **way, way** funny post. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/83 "2001-03-20T15:09:27Z")
And tragic from _my_ POV! Would it change your mind for a little while if I pointed out that my user name implies I’m a forest ranger? Ya know… I take care of trees? No? [sub]dammit[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/84 "2001-03-20T15:27:43Z")
> [@](#): > > **Arden Ranger** said: > Would it change your mind for a little while if I pointed out that my user name implies I’m a forest ranger? Ya know… I take care of trees? > > No? Who said no? **I** only said I wasn’t flirting any more. And being an open-minded sort of lass, there’s nothing saying I’m not willing to be convinced. But this isn’t flirting. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” If it works for a head of state, why can’t it work for me? I’d duck and run, but that’s undignified. \ ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/85 "2001-03-20T15:41:01Z")
And what a very dignified [sub]sexy[/sub] and lovely saunter you have. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/86 "2001-03-20T15:41:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamadryad \* > **I** only said I wasn’t flirting any more. > > But this isn’t flirting. Thank heavens you’re not really flirting. Otherwise I’d be doing something all desperate and undignified trying to get in on the closet action. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/87 "2001-03-20T15:42:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > \*\*Uncle Bill…I don’t know that much ancient Greek but can you make me scream in Italian? Can you wear me out so bad I’ll need an i.v. and an oxygen tank to recover? > > ::crooks finger at Uncle Bill:: > > Accept the hardygrrl challenge? 😉 \*\* Italian is good. You may THINK you don’t know ancient Greek, but wimmins have been known to speak in tongues with me! ::pulling over O2 tank and IV rack:: You may want to get a hit now, I may not want to stop for a while! I am a Marine, I eat challenges for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/88 "2001-03-20T17:10:55Z")
That’s a Marine for ya. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/89 "2001-03-20T17:27:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*dan, we can’t let the barkeep go with none! _leans over the bar on elbows_ What’ll _you_ have? \*\* Hey! Where’d she go? ☹ I’m a saaaaaaaaaad panda. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/90 "2001-03-20T18:30:51Z")
_walks over to give Tequila a long, deep kiss_ Sorry I’m late, darling. It wasn’t for lack of desire… Because you **certainly** provide the desire. Now I think I’ll mingle a little and see what fun I can drum up on my own. I see a few people I know, but they look a little busy at the moment… Maybe I’ll wait until they’re free, or see if someone else comes by to tickle my fancy… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/91 "2001-03-20T18:41:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*Now I think I’ll mingle a little and see what fun I can drum up on my own. I see a few people I know, but they look a little busy at the moment… Maybe I’ll wait until they’re free, or see if someone else comes by to tickle my fancy… 😉 \*\* I’m not busy! I’m not busy! This is just busywork I’m doing! I’m also not overenthusiastic, am I? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/92 "2001-03-20T19:31:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > > \*\*Now I think I’ll mingle a little and see what fun I can drum up on my own. I see a few people I know, but they look a little busy at the moment… Maybe I’ll wait until they’re free, or see if someone else comes by to tickle my fancy… 😉 \*\* > > I’m not busy! I’m not busy! This is just busywork I’m doing! > > I’m also not overenthusiastic, am I? 😉 \*\* So you wanna tickle my fancy? I’m sure that might keep you busy for a little while… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/93 "2001-03-20T20:16:36Z")
Hmm… Kitchie-kitchie koooooo! No? Ok… [Strips down to nothing but boxers and flip-flops. Juggles six bowling balls, a copy of _Atlas Shrugged_, a Salad Shooter, and some M&Ms.] How’s thissssss… whooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppsssss [Falls. Kersplat. Eew.] MEDIC!!! ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/94 "2001-03-20T20:38:30Z")
Oh my! Let me see if I can make you feel better after that wonderful display… _ **TP** sits on the floor next to **dan** and kisses every bruise she can find, her skirt inching up as she moves to each problem area_ Is that better? ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/95 "2001-03-20T20:38:40Z")
:wandering in to bleerily survey the damage: Oh my that may leave a stain…ah, screw it…I didn’t like that rug anyway. Can someone get a little something for my coffee to get me back into this controlled debauchery? I promise I’ll lose the bathrobe if ya do… ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/96 "2001-03-20T20:44:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > \*\*:wandering in to bleerily survey the damage: > Oh my that may leave a stain…ah, screw it…I didn’t like that rug anyway. > > Can someone get a little something for my coffee to get me back into this controlled debauchery? I promise I’ll lose the bathrobe if ya do… > > \*\* What would you like, m’dear? I have vodka, Southern Comfort, rum, or, if you’d rather stay sober for a LITTLE while longer, a whole selection of International Foods Creamers. And, I brought some sushi, sitting over there. You can bring it back over here… I have the perfect table for you to eat it off of… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/97 "2001-03-20T21:18:12Z")
Don’t mind me. I’m still trying to convince **Hamadryad** to come into the closet. **Can’t remember the last time I had to convince someone to go _into_ the closet…** ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/98 "2001-03-20T21:47:49Z")
**Arden Ranger** , I am still eagerly waiting to _be_ convinced. C’mon, open invite. I’m not IMPOSSIBLE, just DIFFICULT, fer cryin’ out loud. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/99 "2001-03-20T21:49:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*Oh my! Let me see if I can make you feel better after that wonderful display… > > _ **TP** sits on the floor next to **dan** and kisses every bruise she can find, her skirt inching up as she moves to each problem area_ > > Is that better? \*\* Well, you missed a spot… right… riiiiiiight… oooooohhhhhhhhh ahhhhhh… yes. There. OOOoooh. Better… no. NO don’t stop! nooooooo… ahhhhh … better again… oooo again, again! Don’t ever stop! There are many problem areas, and you must get them… ah… all… Nice skirt! but you know, it’s not the skirt, but what’s inside that counts… ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/100 "2001-03-20T22:12:25Z")
**Turbo Dog** , you lucky… lucky… DOG you! Jesus, where are all the women like **Tequila** and why are they all married? I propose we round up all the women like **Tequila** and start a commune… [sub]run by me[/sub] 😃 **Tequila** , in the words of the immortal Scott Baio, Wow wow wow! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642.md?page=6)