# Screw It, Or Me (Apologetic and Flirt Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642 "2001-03-20T00:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/101 "2001-03-20T22:41:27Z")
Damn, woman. You’re starting to scare me. Could I lure you in with the promise of showing you my tattoo? Which only three people + the artist have ever seen. How about the temptaion of honey and maraschino cherries and the promise that I know what to do with them? I have a riding crop and I don’t care which one us uses it. Cigar? ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/102 "2001-03-20T23:16:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\* You may THINK you don’t know ancient Greek, but wimmins have been known to speak in tongues with me! > \*\* Huh. I’ve always got better results when I speak in tongues with them. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/103 "2001-03-20T23:35:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mercutio \* > \*\ ***Turbo Dog** , you lucky… lucky… DOG you! > \*\* Thanks Mercutio. But remember the old saying, “No matter how cute she is, someone, somewhere, is sick of shit”! Oh yeah, I’m certainly gonna pay dearly for that one, but she is just so cute when she’s swinging the rolling pin at my head, acting all big and bad. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/104 "2001-03-20T23:41:17Z")
:eek: [sub]manhattan’s here… not at all sure she should be here, arden ducks behind the bat [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/105 "2001-03-20T23:43:04Z")
sheesh… he gets me flustered. [sub]bar. arden ducks behind the _bar_. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/106 "2001-03-20T23:46:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Well, you missed a spot… right… riiiiiiight… oooooohhhhhhhhh ahhhhhh… yes. There. OOOoooh. > > Better… no. NO don’t stop! nooooooo… ahhhhh … better again… oooo again, again! Don’t ever stop! There are many problem areas, and you must get them… ah… all… > > Nice skirt! but you know, it’s not the skirt, but what’s inside that counts… \*\* Mmphmph mmph mmph mmphmmPH? [sub]Translation: Wanna see what’s inside?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/107 "2001-03-21T00:16:59Z")
Wow, I’m happy to see the party’s still going strong… Hamaryd, you luscious temptress, I wish I was around when you DID flirt! I’d be crammed in the closet with Arden and Cranky in a half a heartbeat!(The mere idea of four women all in a small room together is…oh gosh…is it warm in here???) Hiyas manhattan and Mercurtio. Damned glad to see ya both here. Help yourself to punch and cookies 😛 I brought my riding crop this time…seems I need it in here. Anyone see where TurboDog went? ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/108 "2001-03-21T00:27:24Z")
Hell, I’ll flirt with anyone, and according to Joey, that’s not all I’ll do (see sig). But I apologize for not reading this entire thread before posting, and I apologize for being me. Sorry, it’s just the way I am. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/109 "2001-03-21T00:54:12Z")
Well, I’m back! :looks around: Oh, good, **TP** and **TM** are still here. Let’s see, what did I bring… :rummages through duffel bag: Fur-lined handcuffs (four pairs–just in case), a tube of coconut oil (solid at room temperature, but liquid at skin temperature–less messy if you spill it), assorted–umm–electrical devices, a bowl of butterscotch pudding, and a bottle of Godiva chocolate liqueur. :evil grin: :Stalks over to the two above-mentioned ladies…: ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/110 "2001-03-21T01:05:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*[sub]hey, dropzone… wanna play?[/sub] \*\* Woman, you make me blush! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/111 "2001-03-21T01:15:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*Mmphmph mmph mmph mmphmmPH? > > [sub]Translation: Wanna see what’s inside?[/sub] \*\* I wanna see I wanna see I wanna see! Let me get my X-rated glasses… er… hmmmm… This looks lovely! Show me more, O Mistress of the Fish! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/112 "2001-03-21T01:17:28Z")
dropzone, I had more in mind than that [sub]why don’t you join me back here behind the bar? It’s where the ice and flavored liquors are.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/113 "2001-03-21T01:26:20Z")
::UncleBill jumps over the bar:: Darling **Arden Ranger** , fancy meeting you here! Oh my goodness, I forgot my pants! What are you doing with that ice?!?!? **YOWZA**!!! Heavens to Betsy that feels GREAT! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/114 "2001-03-21T01:28:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > **ice and flavored liquors** Ice that causes one’s skin to tighten and one’s back to arch as it is run down one’s spine? Sweet liquor that warms the skin and lubricates the tongue in more ways than one? [Mr Potato Head] I’m a married spud! I’m a married spud! [/Mr Potato Head] ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/115 "2001-03-21T02:06:20Z")
Sure Uncle Bill leaves me again. :::slides gracefully into full splits then sits on floor and puts both feet behind her head-then uncoils::: Three riding crops so far counting mine,booze,toys… I could really use a massage… and a tongue bath if there’s an unoccupied man in the room. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/116 "2001-03-21T02:10:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*I wanna see I wanna see I wanna see! Let me get my X-rated glasses… er… hmmmm… This looks lovely! Show me more, O Mistress of the Fish! \*\* How much didn’t you get with the X-rated glasses? Or just wanting to see with your own two eyes? Well, I think I need a little help with this zipper back here, it feels a little stuck… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/117 "2001-03-21T02:12:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Ice that causes one’s skin to tighten and one’s back to arch as it is run down one’s spine? Sweet liquor that warms the skin and lubricates the tongue in more ways than one? That’s the stuff. :: runs a cube of ice over her own body and purrs :: [sub]UncleBill, if you thought that was nice, wait until you feel _this_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/118 "2001-03-21T02:13:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \* > \*\*Well, I’m back! > > :looks around: > > Oh, good, **TP** and **TM** are still here. Let’s see, what did I bring… > > :rummages through duffel bag: > > Fur-lined handcuffs (four pairs–just in case), a tube of coconut oil (solid at room temperature, but liquid at skin temperature–less messy if you spill it), assorted–umm–electrical devices, a bowl of butterscotch pudding, and a bottle of Godiva chocolate liqueur. > > :evil grin: > > :Stalks over to the two above-mentioned ladies…: > \*\* Oh my, that looks like fun. But… I’m a little… busy at the moment… Save some for me for later, dear, please? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/119 "2001-03-21T02:22:15Z")
That purring makes me feel so… gooooood! I’ll bet I can make that ice melt pretty damned quick! Oh… Arden!.. WOW… Yipes!.. MMMmmmmmm… Ungh, ungh, ungh!!.. Baby you are **GOOD** ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642/120 "2001-03-21T02:58:20Z")
Of course I am. That’s why master **manhattan** paid the big bucks for me in the slave auction. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-it-or-me-apologetic-and-flirt-thread/58642.md?page=7)