# Screw it's and its, what about you're your and their there they're? RANT TIME! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2002, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080 "2002-04-05T22:11:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/1 "2002-04-05T22:11:25Z")
Alright, let me get this straight…most of you are HOW OLD and you can’t figure out simple freaking English? Let’s explain. YOUR: This is possessive. “YOUR shitty grammatical skills.” “YOUR failed English test.” It is NOT, I repeat, NOT a way to say, “YOUR an idiot.” I HAVE NO IDIOT. YOU’RE: This is a combination of YOU and ARE. So therefore, does it seem in ANY FUCKING WAY logical that you should be able to say “I will fix YOU’RE grammar!” You have to say shit like, “YOU’RE an idiot.” with this. COME ON! Alright, here’s the bitch. The kicker. The big one. THERE: A place. Out THERE. THERE is not HERE. Get it right. THEY’RE: THEY ARE. Not a place. NOT A PLACE. GET IT RIGHT. THEIR: Possessive. It is THEIR shitty teaching that rendered you unable to speak proper English. THEY’RE over THERE with THEIR money and YOUR wife while YOU’RE sitting around with TWO beers trying TO get drunk while you fish TOO? _breathes heavily_ _is done_ 🙂 Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/2 "2002-04-05T22:17:03Z")
Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/3 "2002-04-05T22:28:11Z")
You see, the thing is, when I post here, I talk in my head and whatever I hear flows down my arms, through my fingertips and … Oh fuck this! Fine. I’m an idiot. I don’t know English. I’ll go hang myself now if that’ll ease your furrowed little brow. Then nobody can ever say I’m not well hanged. I mean hung. Whatever. For the love of Buddha on a bicycle … we _know_ this, we just make mistakes sometimes because we know we’re not being graded. Chill the fuckski outski. And isn’t one thread on this [exact same subject (grammar)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=107484) enough? {not breathing hard, but I’m done anyway} 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/4 "2002-04-05T22:35:43Z")
That post is TOO FREAKING LONG! YEAH, I said it, “TOO!” So you’re saying that you can’t type unless you fuck up the grammar? THEN DON’T TYPE! Leave the fucking internet! STOP LOGGING ON until you pick up a damned English book and READ THE MOTHERFUCKER! And when you’re done, you gotta pass a 500 fucking question quiz before I let you show your non-grammatical face here EVER AGAIN!!! IT’S TIME FOR GRAMMARCIDE! KILL THEM ALL! _wipes some sweat from his forehead_ Woo! What a rush. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/5 "2002-04-05T22:35:56Z")
You know, I totally know and understand this stuff. But I’ve noticed that as my typing speed has increased, during years of computer usage, I frequently catch myself typing the wrong word. It’s an interesting phenomenon; it appears that my brain is sending messages to my fingers based on the sound of the word, without considering what the part of speech is supposed to be. And yet, I doubt if there is anyone who consciously understands the grammatical principle involved better than I. So yeah, I agree with your rant, but am in no position to point fingers. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/6 "2002-04-05T22:52:57Z")
No. I’m saying that when I type it doesn’t mean I’M NO LONGER A HUMAN FUCKING BEING PRONE TO MISTAKES!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! _You_ stop logging on and reading my perfectly understandable posts just because you have a grammar bug the size of a lobster crammed up your well spelled alimantary canal!!! Woooooooooohooooooooaaahhhhaaahahaaaaaaaa!!! THIS _IS_ FUN!!! Your turn!! [sub]By the way, we aren’t really arguing are we? :)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/7 "2002-04-05T22:53:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **SteveK42** _ > > THEY’RE over THERE with THEIR money and YOUR wife while YOU’RE sitting around with TWO beers trying TO get drunk while you fish TOO? fish Too what, exactly? Too deep (or Too deeply)? Too shallow (or in Too shallow a stretch of water)? Too Much? Too Little? Too Late? Too Well? Too Badly? Too Rods At Once? Please. To make your point in two ways, try to finish your sentences Too. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/8 "2002-04-05T23:00:00Z")
Ya, Stevek, listen to Nostradamas rant about **you’re** steenkin gramm **e** r in a grammar rant. Shouldn’t you have said: > [@](#): > > THEY’RE over THERE with THEIR money and YOUR wife while YOU’RE sitting around with TWO beers trying TO get drunk while you fish? Or, if that’s what you meant, when you’re done fishing **too** wherever the fuck you **r** fishing **two** , let us know. 😃 Bwahahah. I love grammar rants. Sam ---
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/9 "2002-04-05T23:22:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*No. I’m saying that when I type it doesn’t mean I’M NO LONGER A HUMAN FUCKING BEING PRONE TO MISTAKES!!! > > AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! > > _You_ stop logging on and reading my perfectly understandable posts just because you have a grammar bug the size of a lobster crammed up your well spelled alimantary canal!!! > > Woooooooooohooooooooaaahhhhaaahahaaaaaaaa!!! > THIS _IS_ FUN!!! > > Your turn!! > [sub]By the way, we aren’t really arguing are we? :)[/sub] \*\* [sub]Shhh…of course not.[/sub] DIE! And if THAT doesn’t erase your god damned errors, I don’t know WHAT will! But wait, shit, I FORGOT! There will still be your posts! Let’s ERADICATE THEM. Burn the boxes, kill the moderators, THROW OUT THE GOD DAMNED GARBAGE because it’s time for some FUN ladies and gents! That’s right! I AM THE GRAMMAR NAZI! “Can I post on you’re board?” NO!!! FUCK YOU! You’re OUT! We’re going to send a team of people to KILL YOU AFTER they’ve analyzed your brain to find out what makes it tick SO WRONGLY! And THEN, Jack, and ONLY then, will I come for you personally. I’ll torment you with my grammatical skills until your ears bleed and you can’t do anything but babble the variations of too two and to OVER AND OVER AGAIN! And when I’m DONE? I’m gonna give you a quiz! Take it or DIE. 5000 questions for you Jack, oh yes, not 1 or 2 or even 500, not a THOUSAND! If you do not get EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMNED ONE (1) OF FIVE THOUSAND (5000) CORRECT, I will sacrifice you on the alter of my 11th grade english teacher (whatever her name might have been!!!). _uses an inhaler_ _wheeze_ ---
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/10 "2002-04-05T23:24:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nostradamus \* > \*\* > > fish Too what, exactly? > > Too deep (or Too deeply)? Too shallow (or in Too shallow a stretch of water)? > > Too Much? Too Little? Too Late? Too Well? Too Badly? Too Rods At Once? > > Please. To make your point in two ways, try to finish your sentences Too. \*\* [SCOFF]“Too” as in “as well.” Just like you used in your final sentence. [/SCOFF] ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/11 "2002-04-06T00:01:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*THIS IS FUN!!! > > Your turn!!\*\* May I play? Thanks kindly. Here goes. Guess what? Rants about bad grammar are a million times more irritating than actual bad grammar. If I could overcome my wondrous command of the English written word, I would type some bad grammar just to spite you, **SteveK42**. You’re grammar-related peevishness, with all it’s banality and bluster, suggests to me that your really fucking faux erudite. Its no way to go through life, Lord knows. So blow it out you’re ass, Chimpy. Their, I did it. 🆒 I was so worried that my good grammar was irrepressible. Whew! Crap, now its making me feel all oogy. Bad grammar vertigo. Uhhhnnhh…shouldn’t have used that smiley either. Gotta go lie down, or maybe drink vodka and pray for death - I’m disoriented and I can’t decide. OK, both. Cheers right back atcha. ---
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/12 "2002-04-06T00:19:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Billy Baroo \* > \*\* > > May I play? Thanks kindly. Here goes. > > Guess what? Rants about bad grammar are a million times more irritating than actual bad grammar. If I could overcome my wondrous command of the English written word, I would type some bad grammar just to spite you, **SteveK42**. > > You’re grammar-related peevishness, with all it’s banality and bluster, suggests to me that your really fucking faux erudite. Its no way to go through life, Lord knows. So blow it out you’re ass, Chimpy. > > Their, I did it. 🆒 I was so worried that my good grammar was irrepressible. Whew! > > Crap, now its making me feel all oogy. Bad grammar vertigo. Uhhhnnhh…shouldn’t have used that smiley either. Gotta go lie down, or maybe drink vodka and pray for death - I’m disoriented and I can’t decide. OK, both. Cheers right back atcha. \*\* WHAT THE BLAZING MOTHERLOVING HECK DOES OOGY MEAN?!?!?!??!??!???!??!?!??!??!??!??! _chokes on tongue_ Ah, okay… Yer rite. Lets go onn nott cering wut are grammer is liek…i dont liek grammer! NO! NO WAY! I FOOOOOOLED you there for a second, didn’t I? You thought I was caving in, giving up, doing SECOND GRADE GRAMMAR LIKE YOOOOOU PEOPLE! And so what? _squints and eyes you suspiciously_ Maybe I was. ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/13 "2002-04-06T00:48:03Z")
This is so fucking classic, a self-styled fucking grammar nazi, that, as evidenced by [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=107832), can’t even spell “won’t” correctly. IT HAS A FUCKING APOSTROPHE YOU CLOWN!!! Jesus H. Christ on a wet slippery pogo-stick, if you live in a glass house don’t (see the apostrophe?) fucking throw stones! So their! [sub]Whew. This is kinda fun.[/sub] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/14 "2002-04-06T02:54:32Z")
But…but… That was a long post. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/15 "2002-04-06T05:44:43Z")
Are you new here, **Steve-o**? We should probably introduce you to Gaudere’s Law if you are, which stipulates (paraphrasing from memory here) that any time you gets to bitching about someone else’s spelling or grammar, you’re bound to make a spelling or grammar error in your own post. This law is about as infallible as gravity. Not saying you made any errors (and I’m too lazy to go over your posts to try to find one); just giving you a heads up. Some of us may have even given up trying to post a grammar complaint that is grammatically perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@Castaldi\_of\_the\_Mazzharat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Castaldi_of_the_Mazzharat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/16 "2002-04-06T13:11:49Z")
“You think I don’t know the law???!?!?! Wasn’t it ME who wrote it??!?! And I say this man has broken the law! And the law says: bust a deal and face the wheel.” Well yeah, that’s how it always is. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try though. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/17 "2002-04-06T15:29:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SteveK42 \* > \*\*Alright, let me get this straight… > > Alright, here’s the bitch. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Calliope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Calliope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calliope)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/18 "2002-04-06T15:36:29Z")
In case you didn’t get the point of december’s post, SteveK42, it is never all right to use alright. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/19 "2002-04-06T21:31:09Z")
Correct. The proper spelling is “a’ight.” Personally, I feel that good content makes up for bad grammar, but when the content is not so bueno, the grammar makes a fun and easy target. And, just for the record, I laff at Gaudere’s law. I laff my hed rite off. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080/20 "2002-04-06T23:43:17Z")
Actually, Miller, around these parts we spell it aiight. Aiight? Sam [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-its-and-its-what-about-youre-your-and-their-there-theyre-rant-time/102080.md?page=2)