# Screw the Bieber and Go to Jail. Priceless **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716 "2011-11-03T05:06:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/21 "2011-11-03T17:26:27Z")
Her story doesn’t sound very credible to me. A security guard approached her, asked if she wanted to meet Beiber, took her backstage, they immediately start kissing, and then he boinks her in a bathroom? Really? Sounds like something recycled from a Led Zeppelin groupie’s memoirs. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/22 "2011-11-03T17:35:08Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > i would say 15 seconds is plenty eager. /rimshot She did say 30, but I assume that includes the exchange of numbers in the afterglow and half-hearted promises to call her soon. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/23 "2011-11-03T17:56:40Z")
Bieber needs to submit a DNA sample ASAP. Shoot this story down quickly. Otherwise it looks like he’s got something to hide. I’m skeptical that this story is true. But until the paternity tests come back there’s always a chance he’s the baby daddy. > [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Couldn’t this be over in like 5 minutes with a paternity test? If the “Bieber camp” is so hot to deny any remote possibility of this, why don’t they insist on one right now? > > Fighting this in the press seems pointless, unless you’re hoping for lots of free publicity. > > Oh. > Roddy ---
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/24 "2011-11-03T18:46:10Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > 16 and 19. No jail time. Well it’d be a misdemeanor, so jail time up to year still possible. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/25 "2011-11-03T19:12:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > The age of consent for Canada (and Justin Bieber is still Canadian, as far as I know, and I assume that would be the pertinent law) is 16. I don’t see any reason for her baby to be taken away from her. When in Rome and all that. Wouldn’t want to go to Singapore and hope they treat you like a Canadian. 🙂 Down here we persecute sinners. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/26 "2011-11-03T19:24:57Z")
Let’s go on the assumption that this woman is crazy and this story has zero basis in fact. Assume you were Bieber. Hell, if you’re a guy, just assume this was you. You find out someone you’ve never even heard of before has filed paperwork on a paternity suit naming you as the father. How eager would you be to rush down get a DNA test just to “clear the air.” After all, if you’ve done nothing wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/27 "2011-11-03T19:28:47Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > But the incident is alleged to have occurred in Los Angeles, so California law would govern, not Canadian. Ah, I see. Hey, young Canadians, watch where you put your peeners! You know Americans are all prudey and “You can’t drink or have sex until you’re 35.” > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > When in Rome and all that. Wouldn’t want to go to Singapore and hope they treat you like a Canadian. 🙂 Down here we persecute sinners. True enough. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/28 "2011-11-03T19:34:44Z")
If you haven’t see it yet, this is worth a laugh. > **[WATCH: Fallon Spoofs Bieber Paternity Suit](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/immy-fallon-justin-bieber-its-not-my-baby_n_1073595?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false)** > > WATCH: Fallon Spoofs Bieber Paternity Suit ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/29 "2011-11-03T20:08:28Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Bieber needs to submit a DNA sample ASAP. Shoot this story down quickly. > Otherwise it looks like he’s got something to hide. > > I’m skeptical that this story is true. But until the paternity tests come back there’s always a chance he’s the baby daddy. Agreed. Oh and he and Selena are definitely getting it on. This is surely not on accident. [![](https://i.imgur.com/YKgNZ.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/YKgNZ.png) ---
**Author:** ![ballardfam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8797f3/32.png) [@ballardfam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ballardfam)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/30 "2011-11-03T20:26:10Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > Come on. I’m not saying he’s an Einstein or anything, but he’s not a moron. He was born to very young (teenage) parents and you know damn well it has been browbeat into him by both his parents and surely everyone around him that not using protection could be disastrous for him. He’s like Mr. Jesus-freak, anti-abortion poster boy so I can’t imagine him refusing to wear a condom. My understanding is that the children of teenage parents have an increased chance of becoming teenage parents themselves. Also, that evangelical christian teens are less likely to use condoms or other forms of birth control. Reproductive Health website has published articles on the subject though there may be alternate viewpoints out there. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/31 "2011-11-03T21:19:35Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > If you haven’t see it yet, this is worth a laugh. > > [Jimmy Fallon Spoofs Justin Bieber: '(It's Not My) Baby' (VIDEO) | HuffPost Entertainment](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/03/immy-fallon-justin-bieber-its-not-my-baby_n_1073595.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1454378,b=facebook) That story is quite generous in calling it a “one night stand”. 30 seconds? That’s not even time to unwrap a condom. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/32 "2011-11-03T21:31:10Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > That’s not even time to unwrap a condom. Hence the pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/33 "2011-11-03T23:38:05Z")
Whoo-wee. This gets better and better. [http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980702939](http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980702939) ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/34 "2011-11-03T23:52:44Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Let’s go on the assumption that this woman is crazy and this story has zero basis in fact. > > Assume you were Bieber. Hell, if you’re a guy, just assume this was you. You find out someone you’ve never even heard of before has filed paperwork on a paternity suit naming you as the father. > > How eager would you be to rush down get a DNA test just to “clear the air.” After all, if you’ve done nothing wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide. You imagine you’re him… or any other teen-aged boy. Wouldn’t “It never happened” sound better than “He lasted 30 seconds!!” I’d think any guy would want to shoot down _ **that** _ story. Preferably in 30 seconds or less. :(⭕( ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/35 "2011-11-04T00:44:53Z")
Does Canada have some kind of national DNA registry? I’m thinking there should be some kind of reputable agency where he could be tested once and the results kept secure and available, so he would have to get a new test every single time a new claim comes up. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/36 "2011-11-04T01:55:25Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Does Canada have some kind of national DNA registry? I’m thinking there should be some kind of reputable agency where he could be tested once and the results kept secure and available, so he would have to get a new test every single time a new claim comes up. Yes. Of course. All Canadians are probed and catalogued at birth. There’s no reason why the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) shouldn’t be able to pull the relevant DNA match and charge whomever is guilty of this infraction. I don’t see the problem frankly. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/37 "2011-11-04T02:03:28Z")
This story did get me to thinking about an odd catch 22. A mother has every right to expect child support from the father. Yet in cases like this exercising that right puts mom in legal jeopardy. I’m glad the sex charge is only a misdemeanor in this case. It would be horrible for any mother to raise a child without child support because they were too frightened to ask for it. The child shouldn’t experience poverty just because one parent was underage. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/38 "2011-11-04T02:05:12Z")
Presumably, at some point, someone on his management or legal team must have sat him down and explained the problems that would result from an unintended pregnancy, and encourage him to either always use a condom (and take it with him when he’s done) or limit himself to masturbation. That’s gotta be an awkward conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/39 "2011-11-04T02:09:06Z")
Is it possible that Bieber hired a look-alike as a decoy so he can escape hordes of fans and that it was the _decoy_ who had the “encounter” with Ms. Yeater? Conspiracy theorists want to know! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/40 "2011-11-04T02:10:30Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > This lady is taking one heck of a risk. Twenty years old and she’s openly claiming sexual intercourse with this 16 year old pop star (he recently turned 17), Justin Bieber. > > These days they’ll throw her butt in prison so quick her head will spin. She’ll lose custody of the baby and everything. > > I’m not sure what her game is. I guess the big buck payoff messed up her thinking. > > FWIW I seriously doubt this was Bieber’s first romp in the sheets. Given his appearance and pop star status I’d bet he’s been screwing groupies for several years. I’d hope by now somebody taught him how to properly use a condom. > > Doesn’t matter how many groupies came before. The one with a baby is 20 and if a paternity test comes back positive she’s in deep legal trouble. > > Nice looking lady. Twenty years ago I would have hit it for sure. 😃 Being a pop star has its benefits and rewards. Wear that condom dude. Always!!! > [http://entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com/2011/11/02/first-photo-justin-biebers-paternity-accuser-mariah-yeater-on-cover-of-star-magazine/?test=faces](http://entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com/2011/11/02/first-photo-justin-biebers-paternity-accuser-mariah-yeater-on-cover-of-star-magazine/?test=faces) 😕 Huh? I thought Justin Bieber was TEN. That’s what’s supposed to be so remarkable about him, isn’t it? There’s nothing unusual about a teenager being able to go into a studio and churn out some auto-tuned crap. ETA: also, twenty years ago, that lady was an INFANT! OP, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716.md?page=3)