# Screw the Bieber and Go to Jail. Priceless **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716 "2011-11-03T05:06:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/101 "2011-11-06T03:21:53Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > And thus begins the Great Canadian-American War. Start building your fallout shelters NOW. This is how the world ends: with a bang with a wimp. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/102 "2011-11-06T04:02:51Z")
Now it’s THREE guys she’s pointed the finger at: > **[Justin Bieber fan Mariah Yeater, who claims to be mother of star's baby,...](https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/justin-bieber-fan-mariah-yeater-89915)** > > Mariah Yeater first said ­her ex was the biological dad then another man :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/103 "2011-11-06T05:35:33Z")
I figure that she doesn’t know who the dad is because it was an immaculate conception, and the baby is the second coming of Jesus Christ. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/104 "2011-11-06T08:40:38Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I figure that she doesn’t know who the dad is because it was an immaculate conception, and the baby is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Relevant old joke: Teen girl comes home from doctor, in tears, crying: “Mother, I’m pregnant!” Mother, hysterical: “Oh my gosh! Ye gods! Who’s the father?” Girl: “How should I know? You never would let me go steady!” ---
**Author:** ![King\_Bobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@King\_Bobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Bobo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/105 "2011-11-06T09:20:37Z")
Plenty of weird and wonderful stuff going on here - and to my mind who the hell cares - apart from the small baby who is in the middle of it all. Sure hope he finally gets to have a dad. What is weirdest of all to me is **voguevixen** , allegedly a 40 yr. old woman who is **so** into all that Beiber is and does. Wow - what is that all about? Seems really strange to me. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/106 "2011-11-06T13:23:03Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > Plenty of weird and wonderful stuff going on here - and to my mind who the hell cares - apart from the small baby who is in the middle of it all. Sure hope he finally gets to have a dad. > > What is weirdest of all to me is **voguevixen** , allegedly a 40 yr. old woman who is **so** into all that Beiber is and does. > > Wow - what is that all about? > > Seems really strange to me. Bieber has a lot of older women fans. It seems that anything targeted at that demographic does. Tina Fey was making fun of a real phenomenon in that SNL sketch. Plus, I’m not a Bieber fan, and even I’m interested enough to come back to this thread for more news. I’m curious if I’m right that she’s just a crazy fan. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/107 "2011-11-06T15:31:42Z")
Interesting how he has progressed in both flirting and in directing conversations: [http://www.guavaleaf.com/video/5160/Justin-Bieber-on-Chelsea-Lately-Nov-18-2009](http://www.guavaleaf.com/video/5160/Justin-Bieber-on-Chelsea-Lately-Nov-18-2009) [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko44vu7Zkbc) [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSw1KwNTsiU) [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wXzXw89RF4o/hqdefault.jpg "Justin Bieber-Chelsea Lately - 2011") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXzXw89RF4o) Doesn’t seem like the sort who would be even slightly interested in the nutter. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/108 "2011-11-06T18:04:39Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > Plenty of weird and wonderful stuff going on here - and to my mind who the hell cares - apart from the small baby who is in the middle of it all. Sure hope he finally gets to have a dad. I feel sorry for the poor kid in a few years. Can you imagine what kind of schoolyard hell a boy named “Tristyn” is going to have to endure? Seriously, “Tristyn”? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/109 "2011-11-06T18:49:10Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Plus, I’m not a Bieber fan, and even I’m interested enough to come back to this thread for more news. I’m curious if I’m right that she’s just a crazy fan. I’m not a fan, but I’m curious, as well. I found [this article](http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980722286) last night that says that his body language on the Today show indicates that he’s lying about having never met her. I’m always very intrigued by body language- I know that most people will certainly give off signals that they’re being untruthful. I demand a DNA test, stat! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/110 "2011-11-06T20:23:58Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I demand a DNA test, stat! I’ve got some paternity test forms at the office, so if you email me your address I can mail them off to you. Good luck on your paternity suit against Bieber! 😃 While I’m at it, does anyone else want the forms? (That kid sure must get around.) > [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I found [this article](http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980722286) last night that says that his body language on the Today show indicates that he’s lying about having never met her. You cite Linda Shaw of the [Celebs gossip website](http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980722286), who cited [Jacqueline Burt](http://thestir.cafemom.com/blogger/92/) of [The Stir/Café Mom webstite](http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/128388/justin_biebers_body_language_says), who offers mothering advice and used to be an art student and designer. Burt’s cite on eyebrows was to a[Guardian story](http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/12/psychology-lying-microexpressions-paul-ekman)on Dr. Eckman that mentioned eyebrows but did not support what Burt stated about eyebrows. Burt’s cite on tongue flicking was to a [Comso article](http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/how-to-tell-hes-lying)that cited Janine Driver, who is a [self-appointed expert](https://www.facebook.com/janinedriver#!/janinedriver?sk=info) with a high school education and a decade of police experience prior to taking up public speaking. Burt’s cite on shrugging was to an article on the Contacto website written by [professional psychic Linda Preston](http://www.contactomagazine.com/articles/liarsigns0808.htm). Burt’s cite on change in voice pitch was to an article on the [E-how Family](http://www.ehow.com/facts_5339695_physical-ways-tell-someone-lying.html)website written by Nicole Campbell, who writes about [Prada fashion](http://www.ehow.com/facts_6183637_prada-fashion.html). In other words, the article you read was based on nothing more than smoke and mirrors, and holds no more weight than your opinion on whether the kid was lying or not, or my opinion on whether the kid was lying or not. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/111 "2011-11-06T20:28:06Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I feel sorry for the poor kid in a few years. Can you imagine what kind of schoolyard hell a boy named “Tristyn” is going to have to endure? > > Seriously, “Tristyn”? :rolleyes: Just wait until his own mother sues him for child support the next time she gets knocked up. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/112 "2011-11-06T21:50:44Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I’ve got some paternity test forms at the office, so if you email me your address I can mail them off to you. Good luck on your paternity suit against Bieber! 😃 While I’m at it, does anyone else want the forms? (That kid sure must get around.) > > You cite Linda Shaw of the [Celebs gossip website](http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980722286), who cited [Jacqueline Burt](http://thestir.cafemom.com/blogger/92/) of [The Stir/Café Mom webstite](http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/128388/justin_biebers_body_language_says), who offers mothering advice and used to be an art student and designer. > > Burt’s cite on eyebrows was to a[Guardian story](http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/12/psychology-lying-microexpressions-paul-ekman)on Dr. Eckman that mentioned eyebrows but did not support what Burt stated about eyebrows. > > Burt’s cite on tongue flicking was to a [Comso article](http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/how-to-tell-hes-lying)that cited Janine Driver, who is a [self-appointed expert](https://www.facebook.com/janinedriver#!/janinedriver?sk=info) with a high school education and a decade of police experience prior to taking up public speaking. > > Burt’s cite on shrugging was to an article on the Contacto website written by [professional psychic Linda Preston](http://www.contactomagazine.com/articles/liarsigns0808.htm). > > Burt’s cite on change in voice pitch was to an article on the [E-how Family](http://www.ehow.com/facts_5339695_physical-ways-tell-someone-lying.html)website written by Nicole Campbell, who writes about [Prada fashion](http://www.ehow.com/facts_6183637_prada-fashion.html). > > In other words, the article you read was based on nothing more than smoke and mirrors, and holds no more weight than your opinion on whether the kid was lying or not, or my opinion on whether the kid was lying or not. Evidence? You want actual evidence?? Didn’t you realize this is a gossip thread? I’m gonna file paternity papers next week against Justin. Being a 53 year old male myself, it would seem unlikely to many that it’s possible, but he’s sooooo potent! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/113 "2011-11-06T22:35:31Z")
Here ya go: > **[Justin Bieber -- Will Take DNA Test and Then Sue Mariah Yeater](https://www.tmz.com/2011/11/06/justin-bieber-mariah-yeater-dna-test/#.TrcKTc15GSo)** > > Justin Bieber will take a DNA test in two weeks when he returns to the United States to prove he is not Mariah Yeater's baby daddy -- and after that, Justin and his team are going after her in court ... sources directly connected with Justin tell... He’s not only taking the DNA test, he suing her sorry ass. > [@](#): > > What is weirdest of all to me is voguevixen, allegedly a 40 yr. old woman who is so into all that Beiber is and does. I have a lot of free time. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/114 "2011-11-06T22:43:26Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > I’ve got some paternity test forms at the office, so if you email me your address I can mail them off to you. Good luck on your paternity suit against Bieber! 😃 While I’m at it, does anyone else want the forms? (That kid sure must get around.) > > You cite Linda Shaw of the [Celebs gossip website](http://celebs.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474980722286), who cited [Jacqueline Burt](http://thestir.cafemom.com/blogger/92/) of [The Stir/Café Mom webstite](http://thestir.cafemom.com/entertainment/128388/justin_biebers_body_language_says), who offers mothering advice and used to be an art student and designer. > > Burt’s cite on eyebrows was to a[Guardian story](http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/12/psychology-lying-microexpressions-paul-ekman)on Dr. Eckman that mentioned eyebrows but did not support what Burt stated about eyebrows. > > Burt’s cite on tongue flicking was to a [Comso article](http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/how-to-tell-hes-lying)that cited Janine Driver, who is a [self-appointed expert](https://www.facebook.com/janinedriver#!/janinedriver?sk=info) with a high school education and a decade of police experience prior to taking up public speaking. > > Burt’s cite on shrugging was to an article on the Contacto website written by [professional psychic Linda Preston](http://www.contactomagazine.com/articles/liarsigns0808.htm). > > Burt’s cite on change in voice pitch was to an article on the [E-how Family](http://www.ehow.com/facts_5339695_physical-ways-tell-someone-lying.html)website written by Nicole Campbell, who writes about [Prada fashion](http://www.ehow.com/facts_6183637_prada-fashion.html). > > In other words, the article you read was based on nothing more than smoke and mirrors, and holds no more weight than your opinion on whether the kid was lying or not, or my opinion on whether the kid was lying or not. Based solely on your skeptical tracking down of those sources, I think I love you. I may have to steal the one on The Stir for a blog post. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/115 "2011-11-06T22:43:29Z")
I don’t know what the law is down in crazy land, but I hope there is an opportunity to go afer the nutter’s lawyers for costs paid personally for launching a public lawsuit without first simply contacting Bieber, raising the allegation, and giving Bieber the opportunity to get a test done before hauling him though the mud. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/116 "2011-11-06T22:50:11Z")
> [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](#): > > Based solely on your skeptical tracking down of those sources, I think I love you. Thanks! That’s really nice. But please don’t sue me for paternity. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/117 "2011-11-06T23:55:42Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > [This website](http://truthquake.com/2011/11/03/exclusive-love-child-mom-rape-cries-ignored-photos-bought-off-incriminating-justin-bieber/) claims that Bieber raped the girl, and that her cries of rape were ignored, and that she was left to sit for hours while waiting to speak to security afterwards, and so she gave up and left. It also says that a photographer was paid $200,000 for photos of Bieber after this particular concert, for mysterious reasons. Because I have an image to maintain as an overenthusiastic ephebophile, I tweeted @ Justin and Scooter that they need to go after that site while they’re in a suing mood (Or at least demand they take that article down.) They won’t see it of course, but I feel better for trying. I’m still squicked out about it 2 days later. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/118 "2011-11-06T23:59:38Z")
It’s time to put this story to rest. > [@](#): > > Justin Bieber will take a DNA test in two weeks when he returns to the United States to prove he is not Mariah Yeater’s baby daddy – and after that, Justin and his team are going after her in court … sources directly connected with Justin tell TMZ. > > Justin is in Europe now so he can’t take the test until he returns … but he is determined to put an end to what he says is a bogus scandal. > **[Justin Bieber -- Will Take DNA Test and Then Sue Mariah Yeater](https://www.tmz.com/2011/11/06/justin-bieber-mariah-yeater-dna-test/)** > > Justin Bieber will take a DNA test in two weeks when he returns to the United States to prove he is not Mariah Yeater's baby daddy -- and after that, Justin and his team are going after her in court ... sources directly connected with Justin tell... ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/119 "2011-11-07T00:21:13Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > It’s time to put this story to rest. You thought you could beat **ME** to posting this? Don’t make me laugh! (#113 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716/120 "2011-11-07T00:35:40Z")
I was beaten by the best. 😉 Once they get Biebers DNA results they need to keep the results on file. His lawyers can use it to shoot down any more paternity claims in the future. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-the-bieber-and-go-to-jail-priceless/601716.md?page=7)