# Screw them sweepers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 24, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868 "2014-04-24T15:35:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/21 "2014-04-24T17:09:49Z")
Why is Michael J. Fox trying to drill a hole in a box? Is this some hip new Dr. Seuss? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/22 "2014-04-24T17:15:01Z")
You were caught screwing the sweeper operator’s wife. You turned loose your pekinese dogs on him. His fear wasn’t because of the dogs. His fear was that your pencil dick has a reputation. His fear was that his unsatisfied wife did the dogs while you were sleeping. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/23 "2014-04-24T17:23:39Z")
I hope you came inside her a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/24 "2014-04-24T17:27:45Z")
It’s traditional to include a link in parody threads. ---
**Author:** ![AnthonyElite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@AnthonyElite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnthonyElite)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/25 "2014-04-24T17:43:53Z")
Cool story bro, too bad it’s in the fiction section. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/26 "2014-04-24T18:07:36Z")
> [@nevadaexile](#): > > You may have to re-calibrate…😉 You’re right… replaced the battery… now the needle’s bent well past the red-zone. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/27 "2014-04-24T18:38:19Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > You’re right… replaced the battery… now the needle’s bent well past the red-zone. That’s what **she** said! 😃 Ba-da-bing! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/28 "2014-04-24T18:50:35Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > Gosh, there’s no one I hate more than the guys who drive sweepers. They are pea-brained cowards who love to bully people in sweeper trucks to compensate for their small dicks!!! They like to drive like a bat out of hell. They speed and do not yield to cars. What ticks me off about them the most is that they drive dangerously close to vehicles. > > Well, last night I picked up a lovely lass. Seriously, she was the hottest woman in that bar and she was interested in me. Yes??? Me!!! The issue was that I could not go home, my lazy ass roommate sleeps all the time. > > I WANTED TO TEAR THAT ASS UP! > > Quiet sex would not do. She had long beautiful red hair and her irii was the color of emeralds. And she had nice perky breasts that I wanted to bury my face into and go brrrrRRRRrrrrRRR!!! > > So we went into a dark parking lot. My car shook like Michael J. Fox trying to drill a hole into a box. It even scared my dogs in the back. When we fininshed knocking boots, as the guys in the ghetto say, we fell asleep. > > At the pussy crack of dawn, we woke up to a sweeper driving literally three inches away from my Lexus SUV. It startled the crap out of me and the Woman. I stared him down and he stared at me back. I rolled down my window and said “My name is Richard”. Being the important business man that I am, I assumed he would’ve respected my presence, once I spoke. To my surprise, he just threw up his hand and made that I don’t know/whatever/What did I do? gesture and drove off. > > I’ve had bad experiences with sweepers before, but I let it go. Now that I have a slightly nicer car, I do not let them get away with being assholes. Again, the sweeper drove away, to the opposite side of the parking lot. I headed out his way, started revving my engine really loudly, and I let the dogs out like the Baja Men. That got his attention. He froze when he saw my dogs approaching him. When my dogs got just a few feet away from him, I whistled for them to come back. > > Dude was scared as shit. He then knew what it feels like. Once again, I gave a douchebag the taste of his own medicine and I remain The Man. Literally none of this is true, except you having sex with your dogs in a seedy parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/29 "2014-04-24T18:57:36Z")
I thought self Pittings were a no-no these days ? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/30 "2014-04-24T18:58:16Z")
I thought the title was rather Freudian. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/31 "2014-04-24T19:17:29Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You got a hot woman to have sex with you in an SUV with two dogs in it? And you both slept the night through in said SUV? > > Pictures, or it never happened! I got a roll of money on …No Pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/32 "2014-04-24T19:41:06Z")
Ladies ad Gents: [Richard North](http://memegenerator.net/instance/48961996) ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/33 "2014-04-24T19:49:04Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Ladies ad Gents: [Richard North](http://memegenerator.net/instance/48961996) Not nearly douchey-enough-looking (I know, that was horribly worded) to be the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/34 "2014-04-24T19:59:33Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > You’re hatin’ bro? > > I bet you’re an omega male, who has a small dick, live in your parent’s basement, and drive a Ford. That is a deadly combination. And you’re a boring, wannabe internet tough guy, whose writing skills point to someone who is still a teenager, albeit not a very bright one. Did Penthouse reject your adolescent fantasies? You really should stop, as you’re just embarrassing yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/35 "2014-04-24T20:34:36Z")
There is only one S.K. And shit. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2014, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/36 "2014-04-24T21:34:19Z")
Ah, Richard. With a rapier wit and cutting social insight like you’ve displayed here, I forsee a long, valuable, and fascinating posting career here for you. Welcome, good sir! Welcome! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/37 "2014-04-25T00:14:47Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s traditional to include a link in parody threads. Link? He gave us an entire coil. ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/38 "2014-04-25T00:22:23Z")
I pity the dogs. Please make an effort to make your troll posts credible. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/39 "2014-04-25T00:32:55Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > I hope you came inside her a lot. Over/Under on the OP returning…later…, to seek advice? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/40 "2014-04-25T01:09:21Z")
Normally when I hear “screw them sweepers”, it’s the guy on the next sheet bitching because his teammates screwed up his curling shot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868.md?page=3)