# Screw them sweepers! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 24, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868 "2014-04-24T15:35:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/41 "2014-04-25T01:51:48Z")
In reality the street sweeper, not the driver mind you but the actual sweeper, turned around and said to Richard: “you’ve got a purty mouth dont ya?”, resulting in our OP crapping his pants and apologizing to the inflatable doll he’d been humping in his Aveo since Tuesday - or at least he apologized after fleeing the scene and racing away until one of the two donuts he had been driving on for the past 500 miles finally gave out. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/42 "2014-04-25T05:09:27Z")
Yeah, I know lots of people who have a Lexus but can’t afford an apartment without a roommate, and who go cruising in bars while leaving their dogs out in the car. And it’s really impolite to call your Mom a lazy ass roommate. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/43 "2014-04-25T05:51:05Z")
Hunh, I thought for sure the story was going to end with Sweeper Guy saying something like, “I burning your dogs”. Shows what I know. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/44 "2014-04-25T05:59:59Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > I hope you came inside her a lot. Ha! I remember that one!😛 ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_North](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@Richard\_North](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_North)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/45 "2014-04-25T07:17:58Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Not nearly douchey-enough-looking (I know, that was horribly worded) to be the OP. Oh, gawd. I just want to reach into this computer and punch that guy in that pic until he goes unconscious. I look like a Hispanic Justin Bieber. That’s what women tell me. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/46 "2014-04-25T09:22:35Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > Oh, gawd. I just want to reach into this computer and punch that guy in that pic until he goes unconscious. > > I look like a Hispanic Justin Bieber. That’s what women tell me. You look like [Miley Cyrus](http://www.businessinsider.com/justin-bieber-miley-cyrus-face-photo-2014-1)? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/47 "2014-04-25T09:37:12Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > I look like a Hispanic Justin Bieber. When I think Alpha Male, I usually think of the Beebs. Dude’s hardcore. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/48 "2014-04-25T16:52:06Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > Oh, gawd. I just want to reach into this computer and punch that guy in that pic until he goes unconscious. > > I look like a Hispanic Justin Bieber. That’s what women tell me. What a fucking moron you are. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/49 "2014-04-25T17:06:52Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I am confused. You had a woman in your car, that you had sex with, or a dog? Or was it a three, or more, way, with a woman and one or several dogs? Or did the woman just turn into a dog overnight? Were-virign. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/50 "2014-04-25T18:45:01Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > I bet you’re an omega male, who has a small dick, live in your parent’s basement, and drive a Ford. That is a deadly combination. I drive a Prius, live in a one bedroom apartment, and have a dick that can crack walnuts, and I’ve got a deep and abiding sense of pity for people who use the term “omega male” unironically. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/51 "2014-04-25T20:05:32Z")
This is one of the best pits in recent memory. It reads like a classic from several years ago. The confused reactions? Almost as good. Golf claps all around. > [@Miller](#): > > I drive a Prius, live in a one bedroom apartment, and have a dick that can crack walnuts, and I’ve got a deep and abiding sense of pity for people who use the term “omega male” unironically. So, zeta male? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/52 "2014-04-25T20:09:44Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I drive a Prius, live in a one bedroom apartment, and have a dick that can crack walnuts, and I’ve got a deep and abiding sense of pity for people who use the term “omega male” unironically. Big deal. I don’t own a car-I just use my dick to pole vault from place to place. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/53 "2014-04-26T02:11:21Z")
So do I. (Use **Czar** ’s dick to pole vault around town.) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/54 "2014-04-26T03:16:18Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > Well, last night I picked up a lovely lass. Seriously, she was the hottest woman in that bar and she was interested in me. Yes??? Me!!! The issue was that I could not go home, my lazy ass roommate sleeps all the time. > > I WANTED TO TEAR THAT ASS UP! Show this to your room-mate. Maybe he won’t be sleeping all the time anymore. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/55 "2014-04-26T03:57:49Z")
Clearly Richard North is a cover for Dick South. Poor little flaccid fellow ☹ I hope you get help. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_North](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@Richard\_North](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_North)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/56 "2014-04-30T03:02:13Z")
Giraffe doesn’t want me to attention whore in the etv thread. I shall obey him. I don’t want his wrath, shall I meet him in a different place. 😉 IF anyone has anything to say about me, say it here. I’m ready! Oooooooh yes, I’m reaaaaaady!!! _Popping my neck bones and shaking my fingers_ ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/57 "2014-04-30T03:27:34Z")
The fact that he bumped his own “pit me” thread reminds me of a certain jingle… _To stop those monsters, one-two-three, Here’s a fresh new way that’s trouble-free, It’s got Paul Anka’s guarantee_ … Just don’t look! Just don’t look!\* And yes, I’m aware of the irony in posting a reply. \*_Guarantee void in Tennessee._ ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/58 "2014-04-30T16:48:28Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > IF anyone has anything to say about me, say it here. I’m ready! Oooooooh yes, I’m reaaaaaady!!! You’re a doody-head. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_North](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@Richard\_North](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_North)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/59 "2014-04-30T16:52:57Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > You’re a doody-head. Well, your mother doesn’t wear any socks! (a ding-a-dong) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868/60 "2014-04-30T19:13:21Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > I’m ready! Oooooooh yes, I’m reaaaaaady!!! [Heh.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7MoXPxA5LM) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-them-sweepers/686868.md?page=4)