# Screw this 20 minutes crap
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [June 13, 2009, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651 "2009-06-13T09:09:42Z")
**Posts on this page:** 16
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/21 "2009-06-14T00:30:03Z")
> [@Joe Frickin Friday](#):
>
> A solid concrete coffin appropriately nose-weighted and sporting tail fins should sink at a pretty good clip, enough to overcome the influence of any sideways currents that might drag you off course.
You can’t overcome the influence of currents without propulsion and guidance. Speed can limit the effect of currents, but 7 miles is going to take a good long while no matter what you do (note that the density of concrete is only about 2.5 times that of water).
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### Author:  [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/22 "2009-06-14T00:32:54Z")
I would go with a glass coffin poured to fit your dimensions that is then sealed with molten glass.
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### Author:  [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)
#### Post date: [June 14, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/23 "2009-06-14T00:41:53Z")
The concrete encasement plan seems sound. Will a foot of solid concrete surrounding the entire coffin do the trick?
To get around the drift problem, could I pay the Russians to take me down four or five miles and let me sink from there? I figure the whole thing will weigh about 4 tons. Can a sub handle that?
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### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/24 "2009-12-11T21:33:51Z")
I’m thinking guidance fins, but something a little more active, almost an underwater down-plummeting missile. But if you want your remains to last, don’t just seal them up. Your coffin will be a sloshing Cooler of Death bearing anaerobic soup inside six months. You need to be embalmed or fossilized or taxidermied first, _then_ inserted into the deep.
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### Author:  [@runcible\_spoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runcible_spoon)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/25 "2009-12-11T22:00:51Z")
My vote is for cremation, then inclusion of the ashes as an aggregate in the concrete mix.
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### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/26 "2009-12-11T22:10:12Z")
To frustrate the worms/microrganisms, have yourself freeze dried before the concrete encasement.
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### Author:  [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/27 "2009-12-11T22:13:17Z")
You make a “begining” sphere with the inside big enough for the body to fit. 6 feet inside, more like 3 feet if you dont mind being folded in half.
After your body is in the sphere, you fill it with a liquid, formaldahyde would seem to be the standard. Seal the sphere. Things are easy here because you don’t need any hatch or windows. Then you start laying up layers of fiberglass till the shell skin is somewhere between between a few inches and foot thick.
You then put a net mesh around this. Tie THAT to the biggest hunk of steel/lead/depleted uranium your vessel can get out there. Put an “aerodynamic” shape around the whole thing around it if you want to sink really fast.
You’ll get it in the trench. With the sphere liquid filled, with not hatches or windows, will just compress a bit. IMO it should be good for hundreds of thousands of years at least.
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### Author:  [@GreasyJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreasyJack)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/28 "2009-12-11T22:44:30Z")
But looking at it over the long term, that would be one of the worst spots to stash your remains. The reason why that trench is there is because the pacific plate is being subducted under the Marianas plate and chances are in a couple of millions years you’re going to end up in the mantle. A little more glamorous than worm food perhaps, but posterity it ain’t!
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### Author:  [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/29 "2009-12-11T22:57:27Z")
Just wondering, but does the thread title have _any relevance whatsoever_ to the content?
😕
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### Author:  [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/30 "2009-12-11T23:26:55Z")
> [@njtt](#):
>
> Just wondering, but does the thread title have _any relevance whatsoever_ to the content?
>
> 😕
I’ll probably go to hell for this but oh well.
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=283407](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=283407)
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### Author:  [@Dandmb50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandmb50)
#### Post date: [December 11, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/31 "2009-12-11T23:48:10Z")
Probably [Tony Soprano](http://www.hbo.com/sopranos/cast/character/tony_soprano.shtml) would be my first choice. He has a boat. I think he has done it before.
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### Author:  [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/32 "2009-12-12T01:29:16Z")
Excuse me, but what does the title to this thread mean? Maybe I am missing something, but can you explain what the title of this thread has to do with the actual OP question?
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### Author:  [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/33 "2009-12-12T01:38:54Z")
As for me, I want to understand the thread title, and its relevance to the OP’s question.
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### Author:  [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/34 "2009-12-12T01:41:42Z")
> [@Jinx](#):
>
> Excuse me, but what does the title to this thread mean? Maybe I am missing something, but can you explain what the title of this thread has to do with the actual OP question?
Yeah, and what I want to know is just how many times someone has even BEEN there?
ETA: Couldn’t you old guys at least FIND a new guest to ask these questions? I want to see a Guest-Dec09 ask what it’s all about.
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### Author:  [@IAmNotSpartacus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IAmNotSpartacus)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2009, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/35 "2009-12-12T04:10:24Z")
then said:
> [@Washoe](#):
>
> I want to shuffle of my mortal coil with a splash and spend eternity in the Challenger Deep.
I thought it was pretty self-evident, since the original mission to the trench …
> [@Wikipedia](#):
>
> The descent took almost five hours and the two men spent barely twenty minutes on the ocean floor before undertaking the three-hour-and-fifteen-minute ascent.
> **[Challenger Deep](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Challenger_Deep#Trieste)**
>
> The Challenger Deep is the deepest known point of the seabed of Earth, located in the western Pacific Ocean at the southern end of the Mariana Trench, in the ocean territory of the Federated States of Micronesia.
> The GEBCO Gazetteer of Undersea Feature Names indicates that the feature is situated at 11°22.4′N 142°35.5′E / 11.3733°N 142.5917°E / 11.3733; 142.5917 and has an approximated maximum depth of 10,903 to 11,009 m (35,771 to 36,119 ft) below sea level. A 2011 study placed the depth a...
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### Author:  [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)
#### Post date: [December 14, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-this-20-minutes-crap/499651/36 "2009-12-14T05:40:45Z")
> [@Chimera](#):
>
> At which time you’ll be eaten by the worms. Yum yum.
What is with this weird convergence of vermicular themes today?
This morning when we woke up, before we ever saw the newspaper, my wife said she had dreamt about a catastrophe caused by concrete-eating earthworms. Then when we did open the paper, about the first thing we saw was a feature about a Compton worm farm.
And now this!
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