# Screw you, Burl Ives! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2024, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833 "2024-12-18T22:59:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/1 "2024-12-18T22:59:05Z")
“Have a holly jolly Christmas, and in case you didn’t hear Well, by golly have a holly joll–” You JUST told us to have a holly jolly Christmas two seconds ago! Of course we fucking heard! How stupid do you think we are? Indeed, do you have the attention span of a gnat, Burl? I assure you, we remember your wishing us a holly jolly Christmas in the literal PREVIOUS LINE OF THE SONG. This is up there for most insipid, space-filler Christmas song lyric, right? With “Whoop-de-doo and dickery dock”. The ONLY good thing about being stuck indoors this whole month with a foot injury (it’s been better since last Friday) is that I haven’t been aurally assaulted by the same twenty or so songs that get played in every supermarket and other public places this time of year. Hell, I’m doing excellent in [Whammageddon](https://whamageddon.com/#rules) this year–I haven’t heard “Last Christmas” ONCE so far. That being said, the more I get out (really, the ankle’s improved) the more likely I am to hear it. I got “Rudolph”, “Winter Wonderland”, and “Baby It’s Cold Outside” killing time in a bookstore today. In short: fuck the Jingle Bell Rock, fuck rockin’ around the Christmas tree, and fuck Burl Ives. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/2 "2024-12-18T23:02:42Z")
But I _do_ love when Brenda Lee sings [“Papa Noel.”](https://youtu.be/K6WIIR8URJk?si=80UDTURqjYYxsM21) ETA: corrected wrong name as singer. Thanks, @carrps ! ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/3 "2024-12-18T23:07:45Z")
Brenda??? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/4 "2024-12-18T23:12:22Z")
> [@De\_La\_Rue](#): > > In short: fuck the Jingle Bell Rock, fuck rockin’ around the Christmas tree, Here’s an antidote for those. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/qFidHkRfN7Y/maxresdefault.jpg "Big Bud - Rock Around The Christmas Tree / Snow Man Rock - Royal Roost 615 - 1955") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFidHkRfN7Y) NB: that guy is rocking around a _different_ tree. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/5 "2024-12-18T23:19:45Z")
My small local grocery store is a little different than most. Got treated to this the other day. Nice change of pace. > **[Run Rudolph Run](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q0J3y_0xuI%2F)** > > Provided to YouTube by Universal Music GroupRun Rudolph Run · Lemmy Kilmister · Billy Gibbons · Dave GrohlWe Wish You A Metal Xmas And A Headbanging New Year... ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/6 "2024-12-18T23:23:58Z")
I mean, it’s not like there’s a shortage of good Christmas music. We’ve been singing about the season for over a millennium now, plenty of time to sort the wheat from the chaff. Most of it is even in the public domain (at least the music). Why do we even need this trash at all? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/7 "2024-12-18T23:25:10Z")
I vaguely remember the Budweiser swamp frog trio doing a Christmas number back around the turn of the century. The OP might enjoy that. I’m on my phone so disinclined to search. Somebody on a big screen & keyboard may oblige or I’ll be back later. ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/8 "2024-12-18T23:37:33Z")
> [@De\_La\_Rue](#): > > You JUST told us to have a holly jolly Christmas two seconds ago! Of course we fucking heard! How stupid do you think we are?. I work in IT. I have, literally, told someone to click on a button, and a milisecond following, they ask what they should click. I have told them to look at the screen, and tell me what it says. And in .5 seconds, they’ve forgotten it. Yes. Burl thinks your stupid, because I’m sure you’ve already FORGOTTEN TO BE JOLLY!. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/9 "2024-12-18T23:38:15Z")
Is it just the music? Or Christmas in general? Since we’re in the Pit, I (or rather Eric Idle) offer this antidote: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DhwQw5kgDq0/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AHMBoAC4AOKAgwIABABGHIgTigpMA8=&rs=AOn4CLAg2D4KcOE5U4rjwKKl5SSI7xYCzQ "Eric Idle - Fuck Xmas") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhwQw5kgDq0) ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2024, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/10 "2024-12-18T23:57:25Z")
The best antidote I can offer is Jon Lajoie’s [Cold Blooded Christmas](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23cjXModWpA). (Warning: violent & graphic.) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/11 "2024-12-19T00:15:11Z")
Just for you - a Burl Ives [Christmas song collection](https://www.amazon.com/Very-Best-Burl-Ives-Christmas/dp/B00000JQMD/ref=sr_1_4?crid=33WPQK65LK5VN&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.rsXaZNBn4phfY8IMLh-ew9odg5GBq7YyHl9Uom00G3dL-I_TGANOb-t9O7N7j6_L1REoMqcqfUesl-07dPdaykD2IyXFIT1xulrShYb-aVqACA5FRpckxdPxUMh-t-zL50Jkk_59tKfJHl2o_i5g14bcp0Ki4NwAjvXzgBPOM2dXiY-YFRvdqAFtWchnKrCVz_dRxp6Z9E_v16TeO4nHoNxkg5m4PPBNwtUshs-lpUg.7B8qvl6UDUrGZmwv-bKqQ-wPwmhMRyrHe-fEwnnsj3k&dib_tag=se&keywords=burl+ives+christmas+cd&qid=1734567129&sprefix=burl+ives+christmas+cd%2Caps%2C212&sr=8-4). The first tune is “Overture and A Holly Jolly Christmas”, and the last selection is, in case you didn’t hear, “A Holly Jolly Christmas”. Burl also does a terrific version of “Christmas At Ground Zero”. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/12 "2024-12-19T00:24:21Z")
I object! I hate nearly all Christmas/Holiday music. I enjoy Holly Jolly Christmas. In a season full of phony saccharine smiles, Ives seems to be genuinely happy. If he passed you on the street, he’d give you a hearty welcome and offer you booze from a flask under his jacket. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/13 "2024-12-19T00:36:42Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > In a season full of phony saccharine smiles, Ives seems to be genuinely happy. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/UihZm6T2T5g/maxresdefault.jpg "TV Funhouse: The Narrator That Ruined Christmas - SNL") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UihZm6T2T5g) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/14 "2024-12-19T00:41:28Z")
Shared on Facebook: > The lyrics suck > The tune is wank > But it’s Sir Paul > He’s makin’ bank > > Simply writing a crappola Christmas song > Simply writing a crappola Christmas song > > They’ll play this song > A zillion times > Until we all > have lost our minds > > (CHORUS) > > NOW HERE’S THE BRIDGE TO COMPLETE THE SONG > LET’S ALL JOIN IN, YOU CAN SING ALONG > > This piece of shite > Is beat to death > So hold on tight and take a breath > > Simply writing a crappola Christmas song > Simply writing a crappola Christmas song… > > - Judith Zweiman, Dec 10, 2024 ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/15 "2024-12-19T00:45:11Z")
But Johnny Marks wrote the lyrics. Shouldn’t your ire be directed toward him? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/16 "2024-12-19T00:50:56Z")
The Holly Jolly lyric that has always bugged me is “say hello to friends you know”. mmm ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/17 "2024-12-19T01:40:52Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > booze from a flask under his jacket Well, that might explain his short-term memory loss. > [@Lumpy](#): > > Simply writing a crappola Christmas song I somehow didn’t encounter this (the actual McCartney song) until 2012, when I was visiting my sister who was teaching English in France. How did _that_ happen? Where was it for 22 years? > [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > But Johnny Marks wrote the lyrics. Shouldn’t your ire be directed toward him? Yeah, but Burl sings it so he gets my immediate attention. Also, I’m not going to look up the origins of Christmas songs I’m sick of. That being said, fuck Marks’ unimaginative writing skills as well. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/18 "2024-12-19T04:03:26Z")
I was shopping a few weeks ago and heard _You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch_. I’ve also heard _Green Chri$tma$_ in a shopping mall. The gems are few and far between, but they’re out there. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/19 "2024-12-19T08:35:58Z")
Anyone else like Adam Sandler’s Hannukah song? ➜ [https://youtu.be/KX5Z-HpHH9g](https://youtu.be/KX5Z-HpHH9g) ■ _Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is_ _We’ll he’s not but guess who is? All the Three Stooges_ ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2024, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833/20 "2024-12-19T13:16:26Z")
Here – let this take your mind off those other Christmas songs > [@](#): > > [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cbk8f7f5OI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cbk8f7f5OI) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-burl-ives/1011833.md?page=2)