# Screw you, you golddigger **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 11, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943 "2004-01-11T05:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/1 "2004-01-11T05:50:39Z")
Just back from a date which turns out to be the last time I’m going to see her. First time I took her out for a nice dinner date she mentioned that when she goes out with her male friends she never winds up paying for dinner. Made me a little uneasy and I filed that for future reference. Fast forward a while, we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks and she was very excited to get together, talk about our holidays, etc. SHE asks ME out to dinner. Dinner is going well, check comes, she doesn’t even glance at it. Eventually I ask if she’d like to split it. Her response is to literally LAUGH and say “No” as if she’d never heard of such a thing. Pause for a minute. Smile leaves my face. “Do you want me to pay the whole thing?” “Yes! And thanks for dinner!” OK. Opinion of girl drops like Wile E. Coyote going off a cliff. I pay and cancel my suggestion of us going somewhere for coffee/dessert since at this point I don’t want to pay for that as well. Pleasant chit-chat, exit Valgard. If I want to be somebody’s meal ticket I’ll let them know about it right up front. Take a fucking hike. Shit, I should have handed the waitress my share of the tab and walked out. It’s not the price (inexpensive restaurant and both of us earn nice salaries) but the barefaced expectation and sheer rude manners (laugh at me?) that pisses me off. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/2 "2004-01-11T05:56:42Z")
She sounds like a piece of work. Barefaced (and completely out of date) expectation and sheer rudeness, indeed. Good for you for not buying into her helpless female fantasy or whatever excuse she has for being so…so…rude. I don’t know what else to call it. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/3 "2004-01-11T06:10:45Z")
“So I suppose a blowjob in the parking lot is out of the question, right?” sorry ---
**Author:** ![Palewriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@Palewriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palewriter)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/4 "2004-01-11T06:22:35Z")
Run, run, don’t look back. Don’t even hang around for the blowjob. - PW ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/5 "2004-01-11T07:29:11Z")
Aren’t you glad you found this out about her NOW? Look for her ad in your local personals section, she’ll be sure to mention that she enjoys being spoiled and taken care of. If you know some creepy old lech, set her up with him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/6 "2004-01-11T07:42:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Palewriter \* > \*\*Run, run, don’t look back. Don’t even hang around for the blowjob. \*\* Hang around for the blowjob, but don’t tip. That’ll show 'er! ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/7 "2004-01-11T07:53:09Z")
Dude, you should have calculated the total amount, including tip, dropped half that amount of the table, and walked out. Sorry to hear she was such a drag. You’re better off without her, but you already know that. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/8 "2004-01-11T09:19:23Z")
Think of it this way: For the low, low price of only two pairs of dinners, you found out she wasn’t worth your time. Aren’t you glad you found this out after a few weeks instead of a few years? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/9 "2004-01-11T13:11:54Z")
Mail her a bill. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/10 "2004-01-11T14:15:21Z")
Heh. Sounds quite a lot like someone I know, but in my acquaintance’s case she’s been working as a stripper for several years and has come to assume that men are obligated to pay for the privilege of her company. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/11 "2004-01-11T15:20:10Z")
Well, at least you found out _now._ It was the bit about the laugh that got to me. Wow. So much entitlement, so little justification. Like she’d never even _heard_ of paying her way. Good lord. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/12 "2004-01-11T16:07:03Z")
Wait a minute, here. Did **you** invite **her** out for dinner? Without a prior agreement that the bill would be split? I’m old and out of touch, I suppose, but if I asked a woman out for dinner, it would never occur to me that she should pay anything at all, let alone half. In fact, if I asked a woman out for a date, I would expect to pay for anything and everything we did while on that date. Have times changed that much? ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/13 "2004-01-11T16:10:09Z")
**LouisB** it appears that the woman invited him out, then expected him to pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/14 "2004-01-11T16:10:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Valgard \* > **SHE asks ME out to dinner.** Check again, **LouisB**. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/15 "2004-01-11T16:12:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LouisB \* > \*\*Wait a minute, here. Did **you** invite **her** out for dinner? \*\* You might want to go back and read the second paragraph of the OP again. Times have changed enough that if a woman asked me out, yes I’d expect her to at least split it. Any other circumstances, I’d expect to pay it all, and be pleasantly surprised if I didn’t have to. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/16 "2004-01-11T16:30:33Z")
Ooooppppsssssssss. Mea Culpa, mea maxima culpa. My apologies and carry on with slamming the golddigging little hussy. ---
**Author:** ![booka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@booka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booka)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/17 "2004-01-11T16:35:32Z")
Well done, Valgard! ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/18 "2004-01-11T16:44:43Z")
Good riddance, **Valgard**! I’m Dutch, (you know the expression “lets go Dutch”, right?) so this girl’s behaviour makes my jaw fall open. That said, purely for amusement’s sake let me quote this tip on how to handle such women. It comes from the [Don Juan Forum](http://www.sosuave.com), a forum for guys who want to become, well, Don Juans. As a woman, I like to hear what advice they give each other. This one, although rather coldly put, has some truth to it. > [@](#): > > Just like all people, there are givers and takers. Most of the women that we are learning techniques for are the takers. All of the advice for dealing with this type of woman can be summed up into four words – “Give to the Giver and Take from the Taker”. > [@](#): > > If she has a taker personality she is used to men giving and giving to her. But more than likely, she is bored out of her mind hoping that a man would put a stop to it. These types of women are generally attractive, popular, or have something unique about them that gets a lot of attention. Being like this was probably fun for her in high school, but she does not know how to stop. These types of women respond well to the cocky/funny technique or to just being generally rude, busting their balls, and refusing to grant any request that she asks for with a smile. (If you don’t smile, she will think you are an ass and that would be game over. If you are smiling she will think that you are a helluva man.) For more, see [the full column.](http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip247.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/19 "2004-01-11T16:45:50Z")
Sometime I wish we lived in “Scarlet Letter” times; this woman would have to wear a big red ‘C’ . ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/20 "2004-01-11T16:59:52Z")
Thanks everyone! As a number of folks pointed out I am glad I found this out now rather than later (although how could anyone miss the signs until later?). At least this dinner was at an Ethiopian restaurant, mountains of great food yet inexpensive 🙂 On the one hand I wish there was some way to politely let a woman know that it’s nice for her to at least offer to split the check (on those first few dates until there’s an actual relationship, then I relax more), on the other hand the women I get along with already know it. Just got to find where they’re all hanging out… So Maastricht, yes I’m familiar with the term “going Dutch” and I’ve got to ask is it normal for Dutch men & women? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943.md?page=2)