# Screw you, you golddigger **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 11, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943 "2004-01-11T05:50:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/21 "2004-01-11T17:16:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Valgard \* > \*\*So Maastricht, yes I’m familiar with the term “going Dutch” and I’ve got to ask is it normal for Dutch men & women? \*\* Yep. Over here, if a man and woman on a “date” are roughly equals (both having a job, for instance) it doesn’t matter who asks who out: the check is either split or each pays his own. But then again, Dutch women are notoriously bossy. No culture’s perfect, I guess ;). ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/22 "2004-01-11T17:22:54Z")
What a piece of work. I can imagine how much fun she would be in the sack. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/23 "2004-01-11T17:53:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maastricht \* > \*\*That said, purely for amusement’s sake let me quote this tip on how to handle such women. It comes from the [Don Juan Forum](http://www.sosuave.com), a forum for guys who want to become, well, Don Juans. As a woman, I like to hear what advice they give each other. This one, although rather coldly put, has some truth to it. > > > [@](#): > > > > All of the advice for dealing with this type of woman can be summed up into four words – “Give to the Giver and Take from the Taker”. > > \*\* Four words? Looks more like nine to me. If they can’t even count using their fingers, i’m not sure i’d be accepting relationship advice from them. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/24 "2004-01-11T18:04:38Z")
I know a guy who is 50-ish, and still looking. He’s built himself up quite a nice sized bank account. And now he’s absolutely paranoid that women only want him for his money. In all fairness, that’s about all he has to offer… but anyway. He puts ads in the personals, to the effect of: “bla bla bla looking for single white female 30-45. Must be physically fit, non-smoker, no children, no baggage. Most importantly, must understand that marriage is a business agreement. Must provide full credit-check, from Equifax. Must be willing to pay her share of everything, including the dinner and entertainment fees on the first date.” Though I agree that it shouldn’t be taken for granted, I do think this guy takes it to the extreme. I’m not a golddigger, by any means, but that ad would have put me right off. Not even a second glance. On second thought, it would have gotten more than a second glance from me. The second glance would be to make sure I’m reading right. The next ones would be when I call my friends, read it to them, and share a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/25 "2004-01-11T18:08:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **mhendo** \* > Four words? Looks more like nine to me. > If they can’t even count using their fingers, i’m not sure i’d be accepting relationship advice from them. \*\* Sorry, that was me, **mhendo**. To summarize the column, I added “give to the giver” in there. So originally the quote used, indeed, four words. And no, I generally would not advice anyone taking relationship advice from that forum. But it is a _very_ interesting forum, when a girl is curious what _some_ (not the happiest with women, in general) guys are _really_ thinking about the dating thing. The frustration, hurt and indignation is almost tangible, at times. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/26 "2004-01-11T19:00:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CheekyMonkey613 \* > \*\*He puts ads in the personals, to the effect of: > “bla bla bla looking for single white female 30-45. Must be physically fit, non-smoker, no children, no baggage. Most importantly, must understand that marriage is a business agreement. Must provide full credit-check, from Equifax. Must be willing to pay her share of everything, including the dinner and entertainment fees on the first date.” > \*\* Well that’s just stupid - might as well take out an ad that says “SWM, deep-seated resentment, seeks woman to glare coldly across the table at.” Ye gods, like anyone else I certainly have my issues but I’m not mean and I like to think that I am a gentleman. Maybe I need to meet more Dutch women 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/27 "2004-01-11T19:05:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CheekyMonkey613 \* > \*\*He puts ads in the personals, to the effect of: > “bla bla bla looking for single white female 30-45. Must be physically fit, non-smoker, no children, no baggage. Most importantly, must understand that marriage is a business agreement. Must provide full credit-check, from Equifax. Must be willing to pay her share of everything, including the dinner and entertainment fees on the first date.” > \*\* Jeezus. No wonder he’s single. Does he get ANY dates from that ad?? **Maastricht** , I like your description of Dutch women. They may be bossy, but at least they don’t get pushed around, something I dislike e3ven more. And “The ite Report on Male Sexuality” has a lot of info on what men really think of women and men’s sex lives with them too, though it’s a bit out of date. I found a used copy for $4, and it’s a fascinating read. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/28 "2004-01-11T19:08:18Z")
That should be “The _H_ite Report” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/29 "2004-01-11T19:23:12Z")
Dude, you had your warning sign on the very first date. She told you, flat-out, that when she goes out with a man _she never pays for dinner_. That’s your big, red, flashing neon warning sign right there, and you apparently chose to ignore it. You chose to go to dinner with her knowing that she never pays for dinner, so what did you expect to happen? Her attitude is utterly contemptible, but I don’t see that she was the only to blame for this little scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/30 "2004-01-11T19:32:32Z")
**Valgard** , just out of curiosity, are you going to call her on her behaviour? If she calls you again, what would you say to her? And **Lizard** , no, we Dutch women don’t get pushed around. Wooden shoes _truly_ kick ass. 😉 Thanks for the tip on Hite. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/31 "2004-01-11T19:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > **Jeezus. No wonder he’s single. Does he get ANY dates from that ad??** Actually, he gets a few calls. I haven’t heard of him going on any dates though. I suspect the calls are to see if this guy is for real. The funny thing is, he swears that not getting any calls is PROOF that women are out for money. _Another quick anecdote:_ A while back, I found out that the man I had met who was PERFECT for me in every way, was married. My “personal ad friend” said, “Well that’s your own fault. You should have staked out his house.” Demanding further explanation on how this would be my fault, he suggested that it would have been useful to rent a car (so I’m not recognized) and park somewhere near the guy’s house for 24 hours. I was to stay awake with coffee and watch with binoculars. When it was dark out, if I felt the coast was clear, I should have gone up to his house and listened to see if I could hear a female voice from his windows. I told him that it was absolutely absurd. If I caught any guy doing that to me, that would be the end right there. To which he replied, “Then keep looking for trouble and it will find you.” :smack: Thankfully, I’m engaged to a nice man (who pays for my dinners, but isn’t offended when I offer the same back) without having to use surveillance equipment. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/32 "2004-01-11T19:35:07Z")
I am _dying_ to know if your friend has gotten any responses from that add, **Cheeky**. I wonder why he’s still single?? 😉 What a tool. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/33 "2004-01-11T19:41:05Z")
Whoops, nevermind my prior post **Cheeky**. Good god, staking out the house? Your friend sounds like he’s shooting himself in the foot with that ad. I’d be scared to see who would seriously answer it. A cynic of the worst degree, at best, methinks. Even if a woman wasn’t a golddigger, chances are, she wouldn’t answer because it makes him look like a jaded, cynical, humorless dolt. I think the only type of woman that would would be remotely interested in someone like that would be someone who is _just_ looking for financial security and/or a family. Which he’d know immediately. Which would in turn complete the nice, tidy, vicious cycle he’s made for himself. Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/34 "2004-01-11T19:46:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maastricht \* > **Valgard, just out of curiosity, are you going to call her on her behaviour? If she calls you again, what would you say to her?** Yeah good question. 'Cause as far as Golddigger (GD) goes, everything went hunky dory. She just may call back. This is my suggestion for future contact: GD: Hi! Long time no speak, what’s new? Val: Same shit different day, how are you? GD: I’m doing pretty good. Bla bla bla happened and what’s her face did xyz, so abc. Val: Yeah, I know the feeling. GD: So I was wondering if you were up to having dinner at LMNOP on Thursday night? Val: No offense, but is your fridge empty? GD: No, why do you ask? Val: I’m just wondering if you have 7 men lined up for a decent meal, every night of the week. If you’re having money troubles, I can refer you to a credit councellor. GD: WTF? Val: Well it seems that you see me as your meal ticket. It seems that you feel it’s a reasonable fee to pay for your company. You know what they call women who charge for their company, don’t you? I was really looking for an equal, who was interested in me. Further down the line, I was hoping for a partner. You invited ME out and still expected me to pay for dinner. You laughed in my face at the thought of you paying at all. I’m just wondering, do you get Meals On Wheels to deliver lunches? GD: Well, I’ve NEVER!.. Val: And you never will honey. You’re THAT see-through. Nice knowin’ ya. I count my lucky stars it only took me 2 dinners to see what kind of woman you are. I’m not looking for a dependent. I’m looking for a partner. Good luck in your search for a sugar daddy. I’m not him. Bye. \*\*\* Click \*\*\* _Oohhhhhh fantasies always go so well!_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/35 "2004-01-11T22:04:16Z")
I sent her an email last night when I got home to the effect of “You seem to think of me as a meal ticket to be taken advantage of, I’m pretty angry and don’t trust your motives. Let’s not see each other again.” Her response, in total: “I couldn’t agree with you more.” Wonderful example of good bye and good riddance to bad trash. CheekyMonkey - I like the idea and definitely got a laugh out of it however I seriously doubt that there will be any further communication with her. No loss. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/36 "2004-01-12T04:20:00Z")
Holy fuck, she actually _said_ that?! Christ, there’s no pretense there, is there? Holy cow. \*And, er, lots more startled exclamations. Is anybody else thinking that we should bring the **Golddigger** and **Cheeky’s friend** together? If only so we could watch? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/37 "2004-01-12T04:49:52Z")
Makes you wonder how much she charges for time in the sack, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/38 "2004-01-12T05:36:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by margin \* > \*\*Holy fuck, she actually _said_ that?! Christ, there’s no pretense there, is there? Holy cow. \*And, er, lots more startled exclamations. > > Is anybody else thinking that we should bring the **Golddigger** and **Cheeky’s friend** together? If only so we could watch? \*\* Her exact words. Boggles the mind, doesn’t it? OK, I have to be accurate, I did fix her spelling mistakes 🙂 Jeezus, wouldn’t that be a helluva twosome? I’m sure that she’d bring a credit report if he’d agree to pay for it. What’s funny was talking to a female friend about this. She could see somebody expecting the guy to pay in general (not agreeing with GD’s actions, just acknowledging that some women do still feel that way) but the bit about inviting me out expecting me to pay and actually laughing at the suggestion of splitting the bill both blew her mind. She couldn’t fathom what sort of person would do that (without resorting to some very unladylike words). My best guess is that she honestly has no idea why anyone might be offended by her actions. Just brought up to expect that and now accustomed to it. Here’s a quarter, why don’t you call 1-800-GET-A-CLUE? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/39 "2004-01-12T06:38:31Z")
Yeah, I could see being used to the man paying (I obviously go out with the wrong men 😉 ) but to _laugh_ when someone suggests splitting the bill? That’s just obnoxious. Ah well, someday she’ll find her a nice humorless dolt who will pay her way through life, such as **Cheeky** ’s friend. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2004, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943/40 "2004-01-12T06:54:40Z")
Oh, God, **Valgard** I have to say, I’m still amazed at it all—but the laughter and her attempt to be on top of the situation with that email response just boggles the mind. She _laughed_ at the concept! I can’t get over the sense of entitlement she must feel. Like, you know, meeting a sweet guy isn’t so much a fun thing as extorting money out of him. We _must_ get these two little lovebirds together. We simply have to. Her idea of foreplay is fondling his checkbook; and so is his! It’s a perfect match, and they don’t wreck two other people. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screw-you-you-golddigger/223943.md?page=3)