# Screwing up the Wet Dream \[Dealing with elderly parents\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 6, 2018, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372 "2018-07-06T07:40:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/1 "2018-07-06T07:40:23Z")
Backstory: Mom had dementia. Which quickly progressed to forgetting how to swallow. This was not conductive to a long life. Two weeks after she passed beyond the rim, the Death Certificates showed up. With, of course, the following errors: Maiden name misspelled Education level incorrect Incorrect mothers name, both first and maiden Incorrect fathers name, first and misspelled last. Incorrect place of fathers birth Of course, this can be fixed with a large application of money to the Commonwealth, but I’m leaning to screw 'em. Letting the family tree cousin know the truth will be good enough, but I find the level of mistakes amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/2 "2018-07-06T08:05:06Z")
Not sure of the OP title. But, are you sure you know all the truth? Maybe you were decieved. Just a thought. I found out something really off the wall about my Daddy after his death. We never knew this fact. He never told any of us. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/3 "2018-07-06T08:42:13Z")
Education level and father’s place of birth are required for a death certificate? That seems odd. What location would this be? In the US? Australia? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/4 "2018-07-06T09:06:10Z")
This is in Massachusetts Not a doubt that there is errors in the form–I was asked, and this does not match what I told the funeral director. These days I expect a lack of the truth and fact checking from the media, but straight fiction on official forms? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/5 "2018-07-06T10:35:11Z")
I bet this thread gets an extremely high views-to-responses ratio. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/6 "2018-07-06T11:08:33Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I bet this thread gets an extremely high views-to-responses ratio. Yeah. I was gonna say that happens at around 20. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/7 "2018-07-06T13:07:44Z")
**Vorlon** , can you explain the thread title? (you might want to get it changed…) ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/8 "2018-07-06T13:53:27Z")
I’m assuming the thread title refers to botching something that ought to be a no-brainer. (Similar to a phrase my dad used to use, “screwing up a one car funeral.”) But yeah I’ll admit… I took the bait. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/9 "2018-07-06T14:18:51Z")
Have you considered that this information might also have been incorrect on the underlying public records, and that she never bothered to correct it? ---
**Author:** ![Sveltington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@Sveltington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sveltington)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/10 "2018-07-06T14:28:21Z")
I was born in Massachusetts and they misspend my Moms birth city on my birth certificate. Only one of the ways they display the “not the sharpest tacks in the box” syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/11 "2018-07-06T15:17:02Z")
When my father’s death certificate arrived, Mom was surprised to learn the man she had four children with was uncircumcised. She’s a nurse, by the way, so she was not mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/12 "2018-07-06T15:29:33Z")
Maybe she’s not your mom. But more importantly, WTF is with the thread title? ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/13 "2018-07-06T15:39:57Z")
This was his entry for the “Write the world’s best clickbait” thread. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/14 "2018-07-06T16:13:04Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I’m assuming the thread title refers to botching something that ought to be a no-brainer. (Similar to a phrase my dad used to use, “screwing up a one car funeral.”) > > But yeah I’ll admit… I took the bait. The title refers to the fact that that this piece of paper is required by many, and the State charges dearly for it, yet they can’t get any of the details right. Her middle name is wrong too. As near as I can figure out, they crossed her with someone else, who is probably screaming at the credit card company’s “I’m NOT dead yet!”. The other possibility is one of _The Boston Globe’s_ fired creative writers prepared the form. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/15 "2018-07-06T16:20:48Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > When my father’s death certificate arrived, Mom was surprised to learn the man she had four children with was uncircumcised. She’s a nurse, by the way, so she was not mistaken. Wut. A death certificate mentions circumcision? ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/16 "2018-07-06T16:59:59Z")
> [@The\_Vorlon](#): > > The title refers to the fact that that this piece of paper is required by many, and the State charges dearly for it, yet they can’t get any of the details right. Her middle name is wrong too. Wet dreams require paperwork now? No wonder Trump is out to cut regulations! ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/17 "2018-07-06T17:04:30Z")
The thread title is bizarro. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/18 "2018-07-06T19:32:59Z")
I’m very sorry that you lost your mom. A death certificate is a legal document that you may need to get her estate through probate (or her trust distributed), to get a life insurance payout, cancel accounts, etc. The fewer mistakes on it, the better, lest someone doubt its validity. Whoever made the mistake should pay to fix it. You should ask to see the paperwork that the funeral director submitted to the state or county (not sure how it works in Massachusetts). ---
**Author:** ![Jake\_Bullet\_Traffic\_Control](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3da27b/32.png) [@Jake\_Bullet\_Traffic\_Control](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake_Bullet_Traffic_Control)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/19 "2018-07-06T19:47:44Z")
> [@The\_Vorlon](#): > > The title refers to the fact that that this piece of paper is required by many, and the State charges dearly for it, yet they can’t get any of the details right. Her middle name is wrong too. > > As near as I can figure out, they crossed her with someone else, who is probably screaming at the credit card company’s “I’m NOT dead yet!”. The other possibility is one of _The Boston Globe’s_ fired creative writers prepared the form. I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the point of the thread but I just can’t let it go. _What on Earth does ANY of this have to do with wet dreams?_ Is there some secondary meaning to the term wet dream that I’m unfamiliar with? I googled ‘wet dream’ just to be sure it didn’t double as some esoteric legal phrase which relates to matters of probate, but nope. Every single search result was about whacking off in your sleep. So WTF is with the thread title? ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372/20 "2018-07-06T20:02:54Z")
I’ve seen the title usually written as “You could fuck up a wet dream” in reference to someone being so stupid they can’t do a simple thing w/o fucking it up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/screwing-up-the-wet-dream-dealing-with-elderly-parents/817372.md?page=2)