And I see, “My wife is miserable but refuses to take responsibility for her own actions so she wants a third party to give her a quick fix so she doesn’t have to do the hard work herself.” Because it sounds to me as though the docs are listening but they are not telling her what she wants to hear: that it’s not her fault she’s overweight. Thus, the desperate grasping at straws looking for hormonal/endocrine excuses for being heavy.
It’s hardly grasping at straws to note that she has repeatedly lost large amounts of weight during her pregnancies. That is quite unusual. Even women with hyperemesis (extreme morning sickness/puking) and loss of appetite during pregnancy usually gain a bit of weight, especially late in the pregnancy when the nausea subsides. And although doctors usually recommend that heavier women try to gain less weight during their pregnancy, it’s very uncommon to not gain weight, and even less common to lose weight. Most doctors will freak out if even a morbidly obese woman loses weight during the pregnancy, and be worried that it would negatively affect fetal growth. Especially 50lbs of weight loss in 9 months!
And if a women does have this unusual pattern of weight loss and regain around pregnancy, I don’t think you can honestly call it seeking a “quick fix” if she asks her doctor if this might be significant. Heck, a “quick fix” would be taking the appetite suppressants the doctor has already recommended. That she is trying to avoid crap like that and is tracking her food intake and is proactive about asking questions about her health is the opposite of seeking a quick fix.
There are a lot of reasons someone will lose weight during pregnancy that aren’t hormone related, many of them suggested in this thread (like not drinking alcohol, coffee, or certain foods).
Right. You must have missed my first post in this thread where I cited that my morbidly obese sister also lost weight during both of her pregnancies. And despite going through the same process of getting bloodwork done and trying to blame it on PCOS, thyroid, pre-diabetes, etc., it turns out that nothing endocrine-related was wrong with her at all. Eventually, she managed to lose 145 pounds through diet and exercise, the hard-work, old-fashioned way. After doing her homework with regard to nutrition, and keeping a meticulous food journal, she soon realized that her idea of eating healthy wasn’t so healthy after all.
I realize, of course, that one data point does not a trend make; however, I mentioned that for the purpose of pointing out that it’s not all *that *rare. Thus, the additional questions about how accurate her food journal is/was, is she paying attention to portions, is the husband completely sure she’s not stashing Milky Ways in the bathroom towel closet or something, is she getting regular exercise… We don’t know as the OP has not returned to address these things.
I may very well be wrong. I would like to be. But I *think *I’ve heard this song before and I believe I know how it ends.
I know of a few women who were overweight before becoming pregnant who all lost weight while pregnant. I don’t think it is uncommon in the least. If she loses while pregnant, it only makes sense that if she doesn’t improve her eating/exercise routine, it’s bound to come back, since she’s no longer pregnant.
I think it’s a great idea for her to be sure to weigh/measure the food for her food diary, and be sure to include all beverages. If she keeps track for a while, not only of the food, but of when she eats, then a doctor or nutritionist should be able to better assist her. Often the problem stems from not eating enough, and then your metabolism ends up in bad shape. Get her to eat enough (somewhere from 9 to 11 calories per pound of bodyweight, I think it depends on your activity level), and try to split it into five to six smaller meals per day. Drink lots of water, and get enough sleep. It’s not rocket science, but it isn’t as simple as when you’re 20. (Much to my dismay).
I’m no expert though, so maybe someone else would give you better suggestions. I do have to say that eating six times a day did wonders for me.
Well, that’s still not saying that Saint Cad is some sort of douche who just wants a hot wife, which is what the previous poster was saying. He does seem to really care about her situation.
And I must say that the sort of thing you are saying here was the same internal monologue that kept me morbidly obese for a decade. I refused to diet “smart” because I saw my fat as some sort of punishment for being a lazy, self-indulgent loser, and I thought that trying to to be smart about it, researching it, trying to find a better, easier way was looking for the “quick fix” and I refused to lower myself to that, I would just be stronger this next time, tougher, eat less, exercise more, suffer more until I had fully atoned for the unforgivable sin of being fat.
It was only after I started looking at it as science, not karma, that I lost the weight in a sustained and sustainable way. For me, the “quick fix” was eating more: my diets were too restrictive. Also, being open to things that make it easier–allowing small indulgences, finding foods that are satisfying as well as healthy. I had to quit being ashamed of dieting and hiding it like a hair shirt.
I don’t know what’s really going on with the OP’s wife. It could very well be something hormonal. She may also be eating a lot more than any of them realize (she almost has to be to maintain her weight: when I was 100 lbs overweight, my maintenance calories were 3000+) And when you are that overweight you need help, and getting blown off by doctor after doctor who, at best, give you dieting advice appropriate for someone with 20 lbs to lose and at worse shame and humiliate you for even asking questions, it gets so frustrating that you eventually just give up. Even here, people are quick to accuse her of hiding her eating or having an alcohol problem (how much do you have to drink to get 100 lbs overweight?).
Dieters are always told to be stronger, but IME what you need to be is wiser. Looking for that wisdom is not a “quick fix”. The OP asked a question. He shouldn’t be harrangued for asking.
For what it’s worth, every person I know who has taken Ortho Cyclen (myself and four friends) experienced the same unfortunate side effect: ZERO sex drive. This never happened on any other kind of birth control for me except the shot, so there’s something else to keep in mind.
As a fatty who is on my weightloss journey, I just want to chime in and mention that the others are right on track. I’m willing to bet your wife isn’t measuring out servings properly, because. . . well, most people don’t. I know my fat self was horrified when I realized what a serving of meat is or how few a serving of crackers is or how many calories are in a teaspoon of cooking oil or - hell- just how many calories there are in most things.
I second or third a food scale, plus a calorie tracking system like Livestrong. It’ll make a world of difference for your wife.
I’d like to be the first to point out that the most common complaint about birth control pills is weight GAIN. And while I realize you’re thinking the pills will have the same reaction as pregnancy, there’s no way of knowing for sure.
I agree with this 100% As the expression goes, “If you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras.” Hormone imbalance and metabolic issues can be a cause of weight gain and obesity, but they can also be an effect, as well. It may be a total waste of time, money, and stress to seek medical care and testing at this point because testing may reveal the effect, not the cause, and that’s not especially helpful. In fact, I’d had the “full panel” just before I joined Weight Watchers as part of my annual physical, and some of it came back just worse than normal limits. When I’d had it done again six months later, having lost just 10% of my body weight, things had settled down to normal and have only improved.
In terms of serving size, Diosa (and others) have it exactly right. Appropriate serving sizes are almost never what we think they should be. An appropriate serving of meat, for example, is three ounces, which is about the size of a deck of cards. An appropriate serving of mashed potatoes? A cup, which is about the size of a tennis ball or fist. Peanut butter? A tablespoon, or the thumb from the tip to the first knuckle. Bread? One slice. Ice cream? Half a cup. You get where I’m going with this.
The key here is rigor and honesty. Everything has to be weighed and measured, and everything has to be recorded. That’s all she can do. Give it six months and see what happens. If it works, great. If not, at least you’ve got some evidence that it may be something else. But it still has to be done.
To add to this, your body isn’t working to grow a baby while you are on a the pill so you’re aren’t burning those extra few hundred calories per day.
Avoiding all of the nine million other discussions going on cross-ways in this thread, I’m just going to note that birth control doesn’t simulate pregnancy. The signal it sends isn’t “hey! there’s already a baby! don’t make any more!” It’s “hey! I’ve just sent an egg down! it’s not time for another yet!”
Also, one of the more common complaints from women who take hormonal BC is that they gain weight. It’s highly variable, from person to person and method to method, but in my personal experience, if the side effect comes up, it sort of strands me in that part of my cycle where my body is trying to build up the reserves needed to survive losing a lot of blood in a hurry. Evidently the way to do that is to urge me to eat absolutely everything in sight, even though none of it really seemed to be what I wanted. I thought it was very uncomfortable to be perpetually sorta-kinda-almost hungry, and Ortho-Cyclen specifically was the absolute worst offender in that regard.