Add one more to the ranks of the Unemployed!
Yep, I just got laid off today, joy…:mad::smack::mad:
The company I worked for (MacEdge of Portsmouth, NH) had been hit hard by the slowing economy, I wasn’t the only one laid off, someone at the Nashua store also got laid off
basically, the reason for the layoffs (aside from the slow economy) can be summed up in two words; incompetent owner - spending money like it was water while the stores founder
so, now the manager is doing both management crap and repairs, he’s also a certified tech, sad thing was, we were actually doing really well before the economy collapsed\
apparently even by laying me off, the company is still in uncertain shape, not that i care now, they said if things get better they will hire me back, but i’m not holding my breath
I’ve already opened a claim with Employment Security, contacted a few of my contacts and previous co-workers, polished up my resume, submitted it to a few listings, and now it’s the waiting game
it still seems hazy and unreal, I can’t believe that I don’t have a job to go to anymore, i’m beyond depressed, I have lots of bills piling up (medical and credit card) and I’m in a major panic, my mind is going through all the worst-case scenarios with me winding up living in the gutter and having furious arguments with individual air molecules, that’s not the case as I have a supportive family (I actually was surprised by my father’s reaction, I expected him to go postal and rail on about how it was my fault and all, and I’m a total and utter failure that doesn’t deserve to continue breathing, he was rather strict/authoritarian as I was growing up, and I’ve always been a little afraid of him, but he just sighed and felt genuinely sad, griped about the economy with me, (thanks a lot, banking industry/dubya/anyone else responsible for destroying the economy)
I still feel like an absolute failure though, even though the layoff was strictly for financial reasons and the store manager did everything in his power to fight it, but to no avail
I guess the best thing to do now is to take a few days off to decompress and come to grips with the reality of the situation, I WILL find another job, no doubt about that, it’s not like I have another option, but I’d be lying if I said i haven’t considered eating a tasty little .45 ACP “candy” and just ending it all, when i get truly down in the dumps and feel that there’s no purpose left in life, and that I’m a waste of Oxygen, it’s damn hard not to reach for the .45, slap in a mag and just end the pain
that said, let me reiterate one thing IT’S ALL TALK!, I would never really consider “the easy way out” for a few reasons;
1; I’m too chickenshit to do it anyway, with my luck it wouldn’t work and I’d end up a vegetable or something
2; I couldn’t put my family through the pain and agony that they’d be feeling if I splattered my gray matter on the walls, I may be a useless waste of oxygen, but they do love me, and that counts for something, something important
3; ammunition is expensive and I gotta’ keep costs down for the moment, heck, I’m not even worth wasting a cheapo LRN bullet on
besides, after watching last week’s episode of Battlestar Galactica and seeing how I reacted to Dee’s suicide (a fictional character even), there’s no way I could put my family through that agony
don’t worry, my fellow dopers, right now it’s just the depression talking, i’ll be getting a new job soon, and will continue to annoy you all with my inane, rambling posts, I just needed to vent and decompress
I’m in Stage One of mourning right now, sadness/depression, Anger should be coming along soon enough…