# SDMB All-Out Musicians' Brawl **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989 "2000-08-03T14:57:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/1 "2000-08-03T14:57:45Z")
OK, so we got **Ukelele Ike** , aka _Horn Boy_, **DAVEW0071** , aka _Drum Troll_, and me, aka _Compleat Amateur Fiddler_, all starting it up in **Anthracite** ’s conductor thread. I didn’t wanna take it to the Bar Fight since that’s already going strong. So I figured I’d take it to the Pit… the Orchestra Pit, that is. This is it, fellow Doper musicians. Bring it and defend the honor of your section. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![wacky\_ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58956e/32.png) [@wacky\_ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wacky_ninja)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/2 "2000-08-03T15:24:28Z")
Mind if I bring my xylophone? ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/3 "2000-08-03T15:49:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Compleat Amateur Fiddler **definition:** a violinist who’s irretrievably smashed the screeching thing, yet is prepared to whine without pay. Still demands to sit up the front of the orchestra. As a drummer who gave up the bassoon because it was too cumbersome and whose best-known moment is a recorder solo, I feel I am beyond further musical humiliation. picmr ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/4 "2000-08-03T16:00:02Z")
Gwee-tarist here. - Samick Accoustic (I’m told its a subcompany of Yamaha, who knows?) - Fender Squire Bullet that I bout for $100 15 years ago. - Gibson Les Paul Studio that I lifted form my cousin and repainted because he decided it would look cool all striped up like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar, putz. :: old joke to follow:: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer. 😉 I’m kidding of course. My drumming skills don’t go past 4/4. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/5 "2000-08-03T16:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*My drumming skills don’t go past 4/4. \*\* You’re hired. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/6 "2000-08-03T16:17:46Z")
Yet another gitter player here. Yamana classical. I stick with the steel strings regardless of the blood. Epiphone Rivera jazz-type hollow-body. Great tone. Mellow and thoughtful DeArmond solid body screamer. Good fuzztone with the right effects. I’m yours. Hurt me. ---
**Author:** ![h\_thur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/db5fbb/32.png) [@h\_thur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h_thur)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/7 "2000-08-03T16:23:57Z")
Cellist, violinist, self taught guitarist & pianist here. Gotta get some bungee cords to strap on all those intruments. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/8 "2000-08-03T16:31:03Z")
Gee-tar, baby! 1 Washburn Acoustic, 1 Suzuki Classical, 1 Stratocaster, 1 Ukulele for lightweight battle. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/9 "2000-08-03T16:33:03Z")
Trombonist here, actually a bass trombonist, but I haven’t played in almost a year. I’ve also been trying to learn the bass, but haven’t had a chance lately to play with it. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/10 "2000-08-03T16:37:06Z")
Piano - classical though; don’t really know any rock songs Guitar - rhythm, not lead Flute - quite rusty Alto/mezzo voice - you’ll need a singer, right? ---
**Author:** ![wacky\_ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58956e/32.png) [@wacky\_ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wacky_ninja)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/11 "2000-08-03T16:41:21Z")
hey! I didn’t know we could bring more than one talent! Then I am alos bring along my piano, bells, timpani, drums,guitar, and trumpet. Alto 2 voice range.\ ---
**Author:** ![ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@ChrisP\_One\_Kenobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisP_One_Kenobe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/12 "2000-08-03T16:44:28Z")
Low reeds unite! Tenor saxophonist checking in. Also vocal major with range. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/13 "2000-08-03T16:52:03Z")
Let’s see… - violinist with 9 years experience - Soprano II vocalist - mediocre guitar player. That good enough? ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/14 "2000-08-03T16:52:10Z")
And before anyone starts with the trombone jokes, remember: We’re the only musicians authorized to carry loaded squirt bottles at all times. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/15 "2000-08-03T17:01:37Z")
Come along, this is supposed to be a **brawl**. So: > [@](#): > > (missbunny) > Flute - quite rusty Not rusty enough IMHO. > [@](#): > > Piano - classical though; don’t really know any rock songs The second half of this sentence is redundant. > [@](#): > > (Edward the Head) > Trombonist here, actually a bass trombonist, but I haven’t played in almost a year. A year long tacit: that’s a good start. The major disadvantage of the bass trombonist is it takes 'em longer to drown when you neglect to remind them to open the spit valve. > [@](#): > > (Jonathan Chance) > Good fuzztone with the right effects. By “the right effects”, I take it you mean someone filled up the jack with putty. > [@](#): > > (ChrisP One Kenobe) > Low reeds unite! Indeed. You have nothing to lose. Really. picmr ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/16 "2000-08-03T17:09:54Z")
Saxophonist here. I have an alto, but prefer bari. I can also sing from alto II to soprano II. Used to be soprano I but I’ve been smoking for 11 years. Sounds pretty stupid singing pop music; was classically trained. Some flute. Contra-alto clarinet. Euphonium. Go go gadget moi. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/17 "2000-08-03T17:14:51Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by picmr \* \*\* > [@](#): > > As a drummer who gave up the bassoon because it was too cumbersome and whose best-known moment is a recorder solo, I feel I am beyond further musical humiliation.\*\* Oh, it’s a brawl you want? Well then, may I point out that you, with your proclivities towards phallic-shaped instruments, would provide Freud with quite an interesting subject for psychoanalysis. The _recorder_? What’s your next virtuoso performance going to be on, the comb-and-tissue-paper? And we all know what they say about drummers. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/18 "2000-08-03T17:18:35Z")
Very out-of-practice tuba player here…and susa-ma-phone… And my instrument can beat up your instrument. Ha! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/19 "2000-08-03T17:22:31Z")
Okay, fine. :: Picks up my Les Paul (a very heavy and solid instrument, indeed) and begins swinging it around, while screaming, “Who want’s a piece o’ this?” :: If that doesn’t stir up some shit, I swear to God I’ll play Stairway to Heaven. That’ll learn ya. ---
**Author:** ![wacky\_ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58956e/32.png) [@wacky\_ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wacky_ninja)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989/20 "2000-08-03T17:24:10Z")
hey missbunny, how about us pianists teaming up? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sdmb-all-out-musicians-brawl/27989.md?page=2)